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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 27/07/2019 00:55

All the best.

Justaboy · 27/07/2019 00:56

dogletsrock Well at least the powers that be there are aware of the situation now YOU get some sleep you have a journey tomorow and don't want to be too tired:!

PinkFlamingo888 · 27/07/2019 00:56

If your son is able to, get him to download an app called ‘what3words’ onto his phone. This will pinpoint his exact location much better than google maps can. He can tell the three words to the police and they can find him using these co-ordinates

ineedaholidaynow · 27/07/2019 00:57

Hope both you and your DS get some sleep OP

Hope things will be ok tomorrow Flowers

user27495824 · 27/07/2019 00:57

Y not is a family friendly festival, he will be fine honestly. The welfare will be excellent shall he want it. I went to Reading at 15 with no adults and survived. You could always join the y not Facebook page and ask another family to check on him in the morning?

TheInvestigator · 27/07/2019 00:59

He's sage in the tent. He'll be feeling vulnerable, but he is safe so as soon as he drops off to sleep, the immediate problem is sorted. He will be sleeping soundly and not feeling scared. When he wakes, the sun will be up and he will feel much more secure... then you will be there a few hours later.
I'm sending good thoughts and hoping for the best for your husband. That can't be easy to deal with.

irishtwo · 27/07/2019 01:00

Sounds like you did the right thing and your son did too in the first instance contacting you. If the police ring back i would ask for a direct contact number/name as they may have an on-site work number - just to reassure your son a bit more. Hope you both manage to sleep

user27495824 · 27/07/2019 01:01

Just wanted to add, if DS gives a description of your DH to security they can probably find him pretty quickly. Probably best if they don't tonight though. He won't be much use drunk.

HeronLanyon · 27/07/2019 01:01

Call the police. In my view this would be a 999 call (thought about it) they will hear vulnerable child left alone at festival and vulnerable adult missing. Good luck op. What a worry. wishing could be of practical help but the police will be.

EatsFartsAndLeaves · 27/07/2019 01:05

Will he be safe from his dad if he does turn up?

QuckTheDuck · 27/07/2019 01:05

How worrying. My ds has ASD too, so I can feel your panic through the screen.

Hope you both manage to get some sleep ( I know I wouldnt be able to!)

I will be up for a few hours if you need to chat on here.

Emelene · 27/07/2019 01:09

How scary for you OP. You've done the right thing and I hope your son is okay tonight. Thanks

StillDumDeDumming · 27/07/2019 01:13

I have been a part of lots and lots of festivals. They are brilliant at this sort of thing. They take it all seriously and will usually look after people. Your son knows he can ring you. And the festival are aware of his situation. Yes, it’s not great but they’ll look after him until you get there. It’ll be ok. He knows you’re coming.

sandgrown · 27/07/2019 01:17

Hope they make contact soon OP. I know how you feel . My alcoholic ex once abandoned my 15 year old son in Rome at 1am . Luckily he was able to retrace his steps to the hotel ( our first night there) he was so scared though and I was so angry he had been left in a vulnerable position.

rosedream · 27/07/2019 01:20

I have no advice but just wanted to say I really hope that everyone is safe and sound.

OpheliaTodd · 27/07/2019 01:27

OMG poor boy. My son has ASD and he’d be so scared. You must be beside yourself with worry and furious with your “D”H.

Hope everything turns out ok x

IamAporcupine · 27/07/2019 01:33

Hope you and your son manage to rest now OP.
Good luck tomorrow Flowers

NorthEndGal · 27/07/2019 01:39

I can't imagine the worry you must be feeling.
Flowers

Excited101 · 27/07/2019 01:46

Hope you’re both able to get some sleep.

ArtyFartyQueen · 27/07/2019 01:47

Thinking of you and your son. This sounds like just the sort of thing the Dad of my oldest would do and I can remember all too well the worry and distress. Hope you manage to get some sleep

Passthecherrycoke · 27/07/2019 01:51

Oh OP best of luck for tomorrow

PurpleStripes · 27/07/2019 01:51

Just popping on to say that I'm wishing for the best possible outcome, you're an amazing mum and hopefully tomorrow everything will all make a lot more sense, DS realises how brave he can be and DH turns up tail between his legs with a bloody good explanation.

I hope you manage some sleep!

MadisonAvenue · 27/07/2019 01:53

Hope everything works out okay Flowers

clary · 27/07/2019 01:56

Oh OP. I am sure this will work out but I cannot imagine how you are feeling. My ds2, 16, is at a festival (not Y not tho we live in derbys). Let's all think positive thoughts. I am sure it will all be fi e in the morning. Thinking of you. Yy Y Not is super friendly, loads of teens there enjoying it.

SD1978 · 27/07/2019 02:04

Have you asked the police to try and track down your husband? In case he's had an injury instead of having just left your son? I'm assuming he's not contactable on his phone? I'm glad your son is feeling ok and someone has talked to him, and all the best for tomorrow xx