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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave 7 year old

160 replies

HoorayItsTheHolidays · 25/07/2019 17:16

Just seen another thread on v v similar lines, but I've just popped to the shop with my 5 year old and left my 7 year old at home playing the computer. (He didn't want to come, and he's been so good all day in the heat, and was happily playing his computer, I didn't want to drag him out).

I've never left him before. We checked what to do in most eventualities before I left (eg. Go out back door if there is a fire, don't answer the door if anyone rings the bell, call mummy if you are worried about anything....)

I was gone approx 10.34 minutes (I was glued to the clock!!) But was worrying for all of those minutes, and now trying to decide if what I did was really really wrong, or fine!

My 7 year old was absolutely fine when I got back. Still sitting at the computer in the same spot, and had barely realised I'd gone!

What do you think? Is 7 too young to be left alone?

OP posts:
Beebeezed · 25/07/2019 17:17

How far is the shop? Xx

InDubiousBattle · 25/07/2019 17:18

I wouldn't, I'd just make him come tbh but the chances of something happening is absolutely miniscule. You weren't wrong to do it- I'm over cautious!

Original poster
HoorayItsTheHolidays · 25/07/2019 17:19

Shop is maybe 3 mins in car ... (We normally cycle but I didn't want to leave him too long! He knows where the shop is, and to be honest I'm not far off allowing him to cycle there by himself - but will wait til he's a bit older for that one as the main road nearby worries me)

OP posts:
Everythingmagnolia · 25/07/2019 17:20

I think 7 is too young.

Although 10 minutes isn't long, I would worry that not only something could happen to the child, but also something could happen to you and no one would know they were left alone.

BlueBuilding · 25/07/2019 17:20

Gosh, don't ask on here! Most people wouldn't even leave their 10yo to put the bins out Hmm

Personally I think you know your child and should be confident in your choices. DS was happy to stay, you were happy (ish) to leave him and all is ok.

Singlenotsingle · 25/07/2019 17:22

No, that's fine. Ten minutes is nothing. Straight there and straight back.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 25/07/2019 17:28

I think skills are more important than pure age.
Can they use the phone to ring you.
Do they know a variety of exit points.
Could they get themselves safely to where you are if they had to.
Is there someone accessible nearby for support if they needed it.

Personality:
Are they calm and confident.
Are they good at following instructions and highly unlikely to cause a hazard in a short window.

Polly111 · 25/07/2019 17:29

I wouldn’t. I haven’t left my 9 year old yet, though she does walk on ahead on the way home from school and lets herself in maybe 5 mins before us.

plasterboots · 25/07/2019 17:31

It's fine, you know your own child! You could be at the end of the garden out of sight and sound for longer

TulipsTulipsTulips · 25/07/2019 17:33

I think it’s fine, especially the way OP handled it.

Everythingmagnolia · 25/07/2019 17:33

Being at the bottom of the garden is a bit different than going out in the car

SlipperOrchid · 25/07/2019 17:35

I wouldn’t have tbh. if I had to go in the car. The car could fail, you could get blocked in parking, come across an accident.

Picklypickles · 25/07/2019 17:39

Personally I wouldn't leave my 7yr old, but then she is the type of child who could cause an explosion in an empty room, I know some 7yr olds who are pretty quiet and sensible and would probably be fine being left for 10 minutes or so.

Popfan · 25/07/2019 17:45

I wouldn't leave a 7 yr old.

Laura221 · 25/07/2019 17:46

Sounds fine to me

newmomof1 · 25/07/2019 17:49

I think it's ok for 10 minutes if you knew he wouldn't leave his computer anyway.

I wouldn't do it for much longer than that but what are the chances of a spontaneous fire breaking out or an axe murderer knocking on your door?
We panic over the silliest of things!

swingofthings · 25/07/2019 17:50

Fine to me, did it, and really age doesn't matter. It comes down to them feeling happy with it, and you trusting their maturity. Whether you do it when they're 7 or 12, the first time is always nerve racking. It gets easier with number 2!

DaphneFanshaw · 25/07/2019 17:51

I think it's fine for 10 minutes. I always make sure that I give my dts my Mum's number to call if i leave them and I always call her to say that I am leaving them for 10-15 minutes or so. Just incase I get attacked by killer penguins or fall down a drain or summat.

NeutralJanet · 25/07/2019 17:52

I've done it before but only to walk to the shop a few doors down that you can see from my front window. I don't think I'd do it if I had to go out in the car or cycle.

herculepoirot2 · 25/07/2019 17:52

Fine if you were a 2 minute walk away but what’s he meant to do in an emergency if you are driving?

WhenZogateSuperworm · 25/07/2019 17:52

I wouldn’t, especially by car. If you had a serious car accident and were taken to hospital your DS could be home alone for hours before anyone knew he was there.

LL83 · 25/07/2019 17:52

Yanbu.

You're reaction is normal. Everytime my dd gets a little more freedom I am a nervous wreck (walking home from school, out to park, followed her to shop ffs).

Hidingwhoiam · 25/07/2019 17:55

I left ds at that age but like pp, my shop is 8 doors down and I can see the house from the shop

Saltandsauce · 25/07/2019 18:05

I wouldn’t leave my 7 year old tbh, my eldest was 12 before I left him in by himself. But you know your own child, if you think he’s responsible enough not to set the house on fire or hurt himself then it’s up to you x

oldmumnewmum · 25/07/2019 18:12

don't think you should have left him, as others have said, what if something happened to you? he is a young child, be the responsible adult he needs, i'm biting my tongue, cos what's done is done...

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