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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 7 year old

160 replies

HoorayItsTheHolidays · 25/07/2019 17:16

Just seen another thread on v v similar lines, but I've just popped to the shop with my 5 year old and left my 7 year old at home playing the computer. (He didn't want to come, and he's been so good all day in the heat, and was happily playing his computer, I didn't want to drag him out).

I've never left him before. We checked what to do in most eventualities before I left (eg. Go out back door if there is a fire, don't answer the door if anyone rings the bell, call mummy if you are worried about anything....)

I was gone approx 10.34 minutes (I was glued to the clock!!) But was worrying for all of those minutes, and now trying to decide if what I did was really really wrong, or fine!

My 7 year old was absolutely fine when I got back. Still sitting at the computer in the same spot, and had barely realised I'd gone!

What do you think? Is 7 too young to be left alone?

OP posts:
BlueBuilding · 25/07/2019 18:17

I wouldn’t, especially by car. If you had a serious car accident and were taken to hospital your DS could be home alone for hours before anyone knew he was there.

Or OP could teach her child what to do in this situation. DD has known how to call her Dad ICE since she was 2.

People really do underestimate children.

Atlasta · 25/07/2019 18:17

I wouldn't. I don't feel comfortable leaving my nearly ten year old ds in the house whilst I walk to the local shop at the end of our road although I have done occasionally.I definitely wouldn't leave my DD who is 8.

ShawshanksRedemption · 25/07/2019 18:23

If you don't feel confident doing it, then I would just hold off for a bit.

If anything, God forbid, happened (to delay you getting home eg accident) or something happened at home, you need to be confident that you made the decision you thought best at the time.

prettyretro · 25/07/2019 18:25

I wouldn't leave my DS he's 6 and a half and even at 7 I can't imagine leaving him but he's fairly immature in those type of circumstances yours might be different. Each to their own!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 25/07/2019 18:29

10 minutes there and back including shopping means the shop is only a very short distance away so you still could have been back reasonably quickly if the car had broken down.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 25/07/2019 18:32

People really do underestimate children

This is so true. You often hear about children calling 999 when a parent has been taken ill. Teach them simple things to do in an emergency and they will often be able to cope

frogsoup · 25/07/2019 18:32

Boggled for the umpteenth time by the car accident scenario. Surely to God you'd want your child safely at home, albeit alone, than involved in a serious car crash?!!!!!! It's a staggeringly nonsensical argument.

SmileEachDay · 25/07/2019 18:34

My 7 year old would science the fuck out of everything he could get his hands on if I did that.

I’d either come back to no house or a fully operational time machine. Possibly both.

frogsoup · 25/07/2019 18:34

"If you don't feel confident doing it, then I would just hold off for a bit."

No parent leaves their child alone for the first time without trepidation. If we waited until we were fully confident, they'd be a ridiculous age like 12 before we left them alone.

MrsBobDylan · 25/07/2019 19:38

I think 7 is too young.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 25/07/2019 19:46

Personally I wouldn't have left mine at that age to go out in the car. The car (in my head at least) increases the probability of unforseen delays like sudden traffic jams or risks like accidents. My eldest was born 40 and would probably have been completely fine at that age but I didn't want to put her in the position at that age of having to make a decision if I ended up being longer than I said or something. But all that's rather irrelevant as we make our risk assessments based on our myriad personal circumstances. If you feel it's ok for you children, that's all that matters.

1CantPickAName · 25/07/2019 19:51

Every child is different and only you can know if they are sensible enough to be left alone for a short time.

I left dd1 alone when she was 7 while walking to the corner shop, 15 minutes max. I wouldn’t leave dd2, she panics if she can’t find me when I’m in the house.

tabbiemoo · 25/07/2019 19:52

No way. 7 is way too young to leave alone. Just because you came back and he was fine doesn’t mean it was ok to do it.

BarbariansMum · 25/07/2019 19:53

Depends on the child.

Twinkletoenails · 25/07/2019 19:55

I think it's far too young, sorry

CodenameVillanelle · 25/07/2019 19:58

I started leaving mine for ten minutes at age 7. He was sensible enough to be trusted. If yours is, then don't worry.

CodenameVillanelle · 25/07/2019 19:59

I don't feel comfortable leaving my nearly ten year old ds in the house whilst I walk to the local shop at the end of our road

Why not? Does he have SN?

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 25/07/2019 20:01

I cannot ever envisage an age where I will be able to leave DD2 and not fear walking into a house that looks like I've crossed over in to The Upside Down.

cocomelon23 · 25/07/2019 20:04

I think it's too young. I've never left my 9.5 year old in this situation yet.

willloman · 25/07/2019 20:05

Seven is an inventive age. is it worth the worry? Do what makes you feel less stressed. If it's stressful leaving him at home, take him with.

myself2020 · 25/07/2019 20:10

perfectly fine. a 7 year ild is more than capable to call dad/go to the neighbors should anything go wrong

omafiet · 25/07/2019 20:12

I wouldn’t leave my 7 year old tbh, my eldest was 12 before I left him in by himself.

He was in secondary school before he was allowed to stay home alone? Shock Goodness. I must be neglectful, then. My daughter was regularly left at home from the age of 9, for increasing amounts of time. Started at 20 minutes, say. She's now 11 and loves having 2-3 hours of glorious solitude while we are running errands with her brothers!

omafiet · 25/07/2019 20:13

OP, nothing wrong at all with what you did.

omafiet · 25/07/2019 20:14

Boggled for the umpteenth time by the car accident scenario. Surely to God you'd want your child safely at home, albeit alone, than involved in a serious car crash?!!!!!! It's a staggeringly nonsensical argument I agree completely.

shieldmaidenofrohan · 25/07/2019 20:19

My daughter is very sensible, I've left her for short periods from about 7.5. I think the first time I literally nipped to the garage (2 minute drive) and back. I left her everyone's number and told DH I would be going out and when I would be back. I'm happy now to leave her for about half an hour to 40 minutes - she's 9. We are in a very safe area and she keeps in touch while I'm out.
I always let someone know if I'm leaving her - in case I don't come back.