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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave 7 year old

160 replies

HoorayItsTheHolidays · 25/07/2019 17:16

Just seen another thread on v v similar lines, but I've just popped to the shop with my 5 year old and left my 7 year old at home playing the computer. (He didn't want to come, and he's been so good all day in the heat, and was happily playing his computer, I didn't want to drag him out).

I've never left him before. We checked what to do in most eventualities before I left (eg. Go out back door if there is a fire, don't answer the door if anyone rings the bell, call mummy if you are worried about anything....)

I was gone approx 10.34 minutes (I was glued to the clock!!) But was worrying for all of those minutes, and now trying to decide if what I did was really really wrong, or fine!

My 7 year old was absolutely fine when I got back. Still sitting at the computer in the same spot, and had barely realised I'd gone!

What do you think? Is 7 too young to be left alone?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 26/07/2019 08:55

So just left infants?

If the shop was over the road maybe. Car journey? No chance. All may be fine, but what if it wasn't? No one leaves home expecting an accident

frogsoup · 26/07/2019 08:58

Nanny0gg so it would be better for the child to be involved in the car accident as well?

anothernotherone · 26/07/2019 08:58

Nanny0gg why is it better for the child to be in a car accident than safe at home?

Paperdolly · 26/07/2019 09:03

If you have to ask...then no. You are not confident yourself and you know the child.

10 minute car journeys can be disastrous for various reasons stated before.

Yeahnahmum · 26/07/2019 09:07

@MinervaVause i think new zealand can learn a thing or 2 from other countries/cultures then haha

flumpybear · 26/07/2019 09:10

There's no minimum age as all children mature differently - I have a 7 year old and he'd be scared being left alone and will bang in the door if I go into the garage even, but I suspect he'd cause mayhem if he was ok being left alone - undoubtedly argue with us 10 year old sister and wind her up

I left DD for 15 mins max when she was 10

Butterflyone1 · 26/07/2019 09:17

I personally think this is horrific on so many levels!!!

There's no way in hell I'd leave a child home alone at the age of 7! Maybe 11/12 but no way earlier.

You're clearly a very lazy parent preferring to dump your kid in front of a computer rather than interact with them. And allowing the 7 year old to dictate this. It's all levels of wrong.

Lindy2 · 26/07/2019 09:27

Butterfly - it was 10 minutes not 10 hours. 😂
You would seriously only leave a child for 10 minutes at age 11 or 12?

SalveRuRu · 26/07/2019 09:28

personally think this is horrific on so many levels!!!

What's horrific about it?

What makes you more comfortable leaving a 11 / 12 year old at home?

Youwantshoesinashoeshop · 26/07/2019 09:31

@Butterflyone1 really?!?!

Thatbis your decision, but there is no meed to be rude about people who make different decisions.

I am guessing your children are very young and your view might change as they mature.

I am also guessing you don't work? Otherwise how are you going to cope with holidays when they go to secondary school? Because holiday care for 12 year olds is not a thing, at least, not round here!

floribunda18 · 26/07/2019 09:31

YANBU, I used to do this from DD1 being about 7 as well. She was much happier to stay in the house than come out to the shop and hadn't moved when I came back!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/07/2019 09:40

Perhaps some of you need to send your DC to cubs or brownies. They will be taught some life skills like how to use a phone, what to do in a fire and even basic first aid.

frogsoup · 26/07/2019 09:45

10 minutes at 11 or 12!! Bonkers, bonkers, bonkers. I really hope these people only have tiny kids and will change their tune once they have their own 11yo. I leave mine for up to three hours...

CodenameVillanelle · 26/07/2019 09:50

There's no way in hell I'd leave a child home alone at the age of 7! Maybe 11/12 but no way earlier.

Your kid will be the one with no resilience when they have to go on school trips, take public transport and generally problem solve. Being over protective is not good parenting.

PantsyMcPantsface · 26/07/2019 09:58

If we had anywhere local to walk to I would consider leaving my 7 year old now - but she's very sensible. However we tend to have to drive everywhere and she would want to come to make sure she wasn't missing out on anything cos she's a nosey bugger

AdriannaP · 26/07/2019 10:03

Of course it’s fine! I remember a thread on here where people wouldn’t let a 12 year old cook her own dinner 😂🙈

anothernotherone · 26/07/2019 10:04

At 12 dc1 and her friends were told to make their way to Munich and meet their teacher in the main square, they visited some historical sights with the teacher and were then free to spend the day in the city and make their own way home (we live in a rural area around 60km outside Munich). On no account were parents involved in transporting or chaperoning them.

At 13 they did the same in London, on the school language trip to England (they had host families in Kent).

Yet some posters still "maybe" about leaving 12 year olds alone in their own homes!

As others say, for the sake of the children it has to be hoped that people this out of touch with reality are not parents, or parents of babies who are still tuned into the fourth trimester or watching a newly walking 1 year old like a hawk and are simply not thinking clearly atm about their responsibility to teach that child age appropriate life skills as they grow, but will do in time...

Butterflyone1 · 26/07/2019 10:31

Thanks for the comments from all the incompetent parents willing to leave a 7 year old at home. My wind honestly baffles with how anyone can think this is acceptable.

Regardless whether it's 10 minutes or longer, what would happen if social services popped round and found a 7 year old home alone. The NSPCC state "children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time".

floribunda18 · 26/07/2019 10:50

I don't give a flying monkey's shit what the NSPCC 's advice is, given that if they have an employee filming themselves in fetish gear wanking in the toilets and posting it on the internet it somehow isn't grounds for instant dismissal. They have absolutely no moral authority after that as far as I'm concerned and are as dodgy as fuck.

And besides which, ten minutes isn't a prolonged period of time in anyone's book. Leaving a seven year old who is perfectly happy to be left in the house for a short period is good parenting, part of the process of gradual independence that continues up to and into adulthood.

Hidingwhoiam · 26/07/2019 10:52

Why the hell would social services just pop round unannounced, out if the blue.

And when did NSPCC advice trump the law?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/07/2019 10:54

If they had popped round out of the blue then they wouldn't have known anyone was home because the 7 year old knows not to open the door.

Dutch1e · 26/07/2019 11:06

You're clearly a very lazy parent preferring to dump your kid in front of a computer rather than interact with them

Ah good, I wondered how long it would be before the Screen Demons were summoned to derail the thread.

myself2020 · 26/07/2019 11:07

@Butterflyone1 if anybody is an incompetent parent, its the one who can’t leave a 10 year old neurotypical child at home for 10
minutes.

myself2020 · 26/07/2019 11:10

@Butterflyone1 And if social services have a habit of popping around your house unannounced and your kids open the door without asking you first, you have much, much bigger issues!

Hidingwhoiam · 26/07/2019 11:12

There's no way in hell I'd leave a child home alone at the age of 7! Maybe 11/12 but no way earlier

Jesus. Kids are allowed to walk home from school at year 6 here. By year 7 or 8, they would be getting to and from school without adult supervision. Or going into town with the friends at weekends.

You're clearly a very lazy parent preferring to dump your kid in front of a computer rather than interact with them.

Yes because parents cant let their kids use a computer and interact with them.

Its actually very good for kids to learn to play alone as well have plenty of interaction at other times. By constantly ensuring a child has someone interacting with them all the time, you arent doing them any favours