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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave 7 year old

160 replies

HoorayItsTheHolidays · 25/07/2019 17:16

Just seen another thread on v v similar lines, but I've just popped to the shop with my 5 year old and left my 7 year old at home playing the computer. (He didn't want to come, and he's been so good all day in the heat, and was happily playing his computer, I didn't want to drag him out).

I've never left him before. We checked what to do in most eventualities before I left (eg. Go out back door if there is a fire, don't answer the door if anyone rings the bell, call mummy if you are worried about anything....)

I was gone approx 10.34 minutes (I was glued to the clock!!) But was worrying for all of those minutes, and now trying to decide if what I did was really really wrong, or fine!

My 7 year old was absolutely fine when I got back. Still sitting at the computer in the same spot, and had barely realised I'd gone!

What do you think? Is 7 too young to be left alone?

OP posts:
Finnished · 26/07/2019 20:08

www.psi.org.uk/children_mobility

Placing trust on children helps them in so many ways.

frogsoup · 26/07/2019 20:33

I'm sure it's possible for people to be well adjusted adults while being extremely mollycoddled as kids (only being left for 10 minutes at age 12 counts as extreme when their peers are off for hours independently). I just wouldn't have wanted to be their flatmates at university! And from personal experience, being their university tutors could be trying to say the least, as they didn't have a modicum of the resilience or independence necessary for higher level study.

Youwantshoesinashoeshop · 26/07/2019 20:42

I suppose that generally, children catch up, if independence is bestowed late, like with any skill. However, independence is a craft and needs years to hone.

My folks were not perfect but their benign generational neglect has left me very independent and confident of my ability to tackle most physical and practical issues. Intellectual and employment/ professional challenges less so, but you can't win 'em all.

I could never be with someone who couldn't cope with being dropped into the middle of a strange foreign city. So unattractive!

crimsonlake · 26/07/2019 20:50

No, I certainly would never have done this with mine when they were that age. 3 minutes in the car? I am assuming it may have been a couple of miles away.

Purplejay · 26/07/2019 20:51

To young. Sorry.

Youwantshoesinashoeshop · 26/07/2019 21:04

@Purplejay sorry for what? It's up to parents to decide for their own kids what's appropriate. You be happy with your choices, me with mine... everyone's a winner.

"Sorry" notsorry is something ex used to say to me to close down my POV....

darlingtonhouse · 26/07/2019 22:04

No, I wouldn't leave my 7 year old alone at home.

ElphabaTheGreen · 26/07/2019 22:29

This is entirely dependent on the child as many others have said, so I don’t think there is one hard and fast call that can be made on this one.

DS1 (7yo) is absolutely sensible enough for me to leave him alone for 10 mins. I send him up the road by himself to the postbox and when he needed to collect batteries for recycling at school he took himself off alone around the neighbours houses the second, ‘Uh...maybe...’ had escaped my lips at his suggestion. I pondered leaving him for 10 minutes to pop to the shops myself the other day - the only thing that stopped me was that we don’t have a landline and DH and I are the only ones with mobiles, so he’d have had no phone to use in case of emergency. He knows how to phone 999 from both of our mobiles, even when locked, who to ask for in which circumstance and can recite our address including postcode - I drill him regularly.

DS2 (almost 5yo) will not be left alone until he is 21 or so. He is a fucking maniac who would have the house to rubble within two minutes of my departure.

On my part, my mum left me home alone for full days from the age of nine. She was a single mum with no family support and no money for a babysitter when I was ill and she had to go to work. I watched a fuckton of TV and learned how to bake brilliantly. I am still alive.

NoKnit · 27/07/2019 14:36

Very interesting read of a thread and good for you for posting OP

I don't think you are slightest but unreasonable I've left my 6 year old once or twice to collect sibling with my neighbours knowing and only being a 2 minute walk away. It does install confidence and independence I'd rather raise a child allowed to do things than an adult unable to look after himself

ysmaem · 27/07/2019 15:08

I don't think it's an issue to leave him for 10 minutes. You know your child.

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