To wish that DP wasn't such a sex pest!

[AbiMcNabbi]

My DP is relentless! We have sex about twice a week, more if we feel like it but I've noticed lately that if we go for more than a few days (last time was on Friday) that he starts to make comments "The warmth on this blanket is the only heat I get in the bedroom these days" etc.
He actually said to me that after we'd gotten the all clear after his vasectomy that he assumed we'd have more sex. He's always mauling me, undoing my bra if I hug him or squeezing my boobs. He makes the suggestion of having sex every day!
It's been really really hot here the last few days and I'm about due my period - both of those for me just scream "I'm not in the mood"
I said to him last night that surely it's the quality on sex we have (which he always says is good) and not the quantity. I just want a hug sometimes with him touching my boobs or elsewhere!
He took a photo of me and our DS, I was just sat in my shorts and a crop top so asked him not to get me in the photo but he did anyway and said "That'll keep me warm"

AiBu??

I can Abi tbh (and my boyfriend has a history polyamory but is monogamous with me) but I don't want to really. I want lots of sex with the person I'm with, not the whole faff of arrangements with someone else, hotels etc.

What do couples do who have mismatched sex drives? (Obviously discounting pesterers.)

As pp have said, you don't pester. You either split up, or you accept the terms of the person who wants less sex. You can sort yourself out, or just be a bit frustrated. It's not as if anything falls off. For me, the important thing is to maintain the physical contact. I think this is important for both. It means the person with the lower sex drive gets the physical contact that is natural and that most of us crave. And it means the person with the higher sex drive also gets that physical contact.

IME you're on a win-win if you accept that not all physical contact will result in sex. If you accept this, it's actually more likely the other person will be happy and relaxed with you and want you.

In terms of splitting up it's easier if you know early on that you're mismatched. It is difficult if one person's sex drive drops a lot whilst the other person's remains high. But you don't pester. Really, who even wants sex with someone who is doing it out of duty? That is beyond grim. It's repulsive.

I actually feel a bit sick at the 'scheduled sex days' and the thought of ANY poor woman lying back and accepting it because she guaranteed it to make him happy. I too, have daughters and I really, really worry for them.

Sometimes opening up the relationship so the high-libido partner can go elsewhere for sex is the best solution. However, it's not really going to help OP, as her H has already demonstrated that he is selfish, has little or no respect for other people, and can only think about his dick. Men like him are awful at poly relationships...

Groping and pestering is vile and I hate it.
OTOH, sex twice a week is next to nothing.

I think you should split up, actually. OP, you totally deserve a man who respects you and your body, and is happy to have sex twice a week.

Your husband should probably find someone with a higher sex drive.

(There's plenty of mutual groping, mauling and pawing going on in my house, and almost all intimacy leads to sex, but we BOTH enjoy it. That's the main difference.)

No you’re not being unreasonable!
Sometimes you just aren’t in the mood and a couple of times a week is healthy I’d say!
He should respect you enough to accept that your sex drive isn’t as high as his.. I could understand the comments if you rarely had sex (not that I agree with sex shaming) but obviously you’re still sexually active. Strange