To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

[IdaMay19]

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

@ReanimatedSGB

I have a sense that you are projecting some personal experiences in your posts, as they are coming across as completely bonkers and a bit sinister...

Your DD was being selfish, greedy and deceitful. YWNBU and I would be telling her that there is to be no more helping herself to sweet treats in future as she is obviously not mature enough to know when to stop a bit like me with crisps

"It's not like she's stabbed the cat"

I do love you solid

YABU, I don't think it's a great idea to make food an issue and throwing it in the bin is extreme.

YABU

If, as you say, she is 'slim and healthy', then she clearly is not in the habit of bingeing on Magnums.

Active, growing children and teenagers do sometimes need supper, in that two hours since dinner they may have been swimming, out on their bike or jumping on a trampoline. It's difference from a middle-aged adult lazing in front of the television.

Two hours activity requires supper? No wonder we have a problem with obesity in the UK. As a child, and my children also, we spent hours particularly in the school holidays doing all the above and none of us died of starvation due to lack of supper or continuous breaks for snacks. Possibly explains why none of us are remotely overweight and have a healthy relationship with food.

At the risk of making the thread kick off even more (sorry OP ) I think it would be really interesting to know how many of us replying are overweight and does this affect their replies. Given current percentages of the population, many of us on this thread must be surely? Or are we all a perfectly healthy weight just like every MNers' DCs prefer carrot sticks over chocolate

(Full disclosure, I am a couple of pounds overweight as can't exercise much and literally have to eat about 800 calories a day as I'm also very very small )

And my DCs don't prefer carrot sticks over chocolate Well actually one does but she is like the daughter in Ab Fab

Think it could make her feel guilty about eating.

I, for one, don’t think eating three magnums is something she should be feeling good about.

Ok, I’ll play. I think the OP is absolutely right.

My BMI is normal, towards the top end of that (24). I still have some baby weight to lose.

YABU. I would have taken it from her and eaten it myself! 😋

My BMI puts me in the just overweight (by a couple of kg) category. I was more overweight between the ages of 11-15.

I was the kind of child who would have sneaked around eating multiple magnums.

I then spent my early twenties preoccupied with my diet and weight until I threw the bathroom scales in the bin one day and decided to just try to eat proper meals and have treats when I fancied them.

I will not be allowing my DD to eat 3 magnums. I'm trying to teach both of us that treats aren't always in the form of refined sugary foods. We both consider a perfectly ripe mango to be a huge treat, a nice steak, butternut squash as well as the more obvious cakes.

DD (2) is still yet to eat her first sweet but she enjoys eating all her food. We have cakes/biscuits/ice cream but it's definitely an occasional treat rather than every day.

I know my mother would have been disgusted with me for eating three magnums but she possibly could have done more. She cooked decent meals for us but the weekly shop did include a lot of crap when we were teenagers.

I don't think we should be shying away from our children understanding that the food we eat has a bearing on our health. This works both ways. I so wish that the couple of teenagers I know who are severely restricting calories understood the impact this might be having on their developing bodies.

For me personally I find my diet is best when I concentrate on getting plenty of good nutrients into my meals rather than restricting the treats.

Anyone concerned about discussing weight with teenagers could consider approaching sugar intake from the angle of dental health; rotting yellow teeth aren't cool.

so what is the answer? I would be interested to know what the right thing to do is....
I get that some people consider the OPs reaction too controlling, maybe leading to issues around food etc etc. But then what message does ignoring it send? That selfishness & greed are ok?
FWIW I'm with the OP, & have to deal with this sort of thing regularly. But I would love to know what the right thing to do is!

I think we might be getting too wrapped up in 'food issues' unnecessarily here, which is perhaps clouding the issue.
The child was inconsiderate and disingenuous and the OP dealt with it, I don't think it requires the over thinking that has gone on by some on this thread.