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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

315 replies

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 19:58

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

OP posts:
hadthesnip2 · 23/07/2019 01:11

Yabu......only with the fact I would have either eaten it or put it back in the freezer. Not thrown it away.....Waste of a good ice cream

SuzieQQQ · 23/07/2019 08:15

I think you sound obsessed with healthy food, weight, looks etc. if you’d said you made her throw it out due to lying then I’d be okay with that. But it seems it’s more about beauty so I say YABVU

avalanching · 23/07/2019 08:19

YANBU 3 ice creams in one day is too much. Growing up something like that was once a day and is the same for my children, at 9 and 6 I still expect mine to ask. Plus the lying. I'd have chucked it and wouldn't be buying any more for a couple weeks.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 23/07/2019 08:23

I’ve done exactly this with both of mine at least once each. I’m quite laid back about treats but I don’t like sneaky behaviour or lying.

quietcontentment · 23/07/2019 08:28

11yr old and slim or not 3 magnums in one day is a greedy, irresponsible and unhealthy way to eat. I you allow it you are promoting the above and are being irresponsible also, one of those a day is enough of a treat, the rest of the time cool drinks or ice pops should do the trick.

Lougle · 23/07/2019 08:33

"Ponoka7

Do you monitor her carb untake before she has toast?

It's anything that causes insulin resistance that is the issue.

Carbs are fueling the obesity crises and the record nunber of diabetes cases.

It was overly controling."

Sugar is the most basic carbohydrate there is. Starch is a chain of sugar molecules. The body breaks carbs down into sugar during digestion. So it is more sensible to have a complex carb like granary bread than an ice-cream, which has pure sugar.

taylorowmu · 23/07/2019 08:33

@SuzieQQQ

You must be reading a completely different thread.

Namechangedonceagain · 23/07/2019 08:40

I think you were being pretty unreasonable and wasteful to make her throw it out.

Namechangedonceagain · 23/07/2019 08:43

I also don't think your attitude towards food sounds that healthy... all kids would sneak an ice-cream if they can! It doesn't mean they'll grow up to have an unhealthy diet. But you sound like you're almost pushing food anxiety onto her by making her worry about stuff she's too young to worry about Confused

howdyalikemenow · 23/07/2019 08:46

Shock to the batshittery on this thread.

The issue is a) the sneaky way dd went about procuring her THIRD magnum of the day

And b) the fact that, by eating THREE OF A PACK OF FOUR she is being incredibly selfish and stopping others from having one.

Ffs it's not hard to recognise that three magnums is excessive, age or season notwithstanding. OP I would have done exactly the same. Everything in moderation.

avalanching · 23/07/2019 08:55

How is 11 too young to understand 3 ice creams is excessive? Of course she should be getting told this stuff, my 5 year old has health lessons in school learning what food is healthy and what isn't, he'd know 3 ice creams is excessive. It's not about body image it's about health and not being greedy!! FFS some people need to get a grip, it will not give an 11 year old body issues, it teaches moderation.

Catsandchardonnay · 23/07/2019 09:08

YANBU to take it off her, and I would have punished her further for the lying, I hate lying. But YABU to throw it in the bin, that teaches her that it’s ok to waste food. I’d have eaten the rest of it in front of her personally.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 23/07/2019 09:33

This thread is MN food batshittery gold for the responses Grin

Taking the third Magnum without permission then lying to cover up was greedy. Not in a sense of being immoral to eat more than you need, but that it deprived another family member of the chance to enjoy a treat brought by the GPs. Finishing the second one off the sibling to avoid wastage; that's life.

Binning the 3rd Magnum was a direct and reasonable consequence. It wasn't fit to pass on to anyone else, she didn't need it, she wouldn't have been permitted to have it in the first place. Surplus calories are as wasted being hoarded on hips, tums etc as they are in the bin.

OP's approach to food sounds perfectly sensible. Generally balanced with an understanding of treaty days out of routine. Not excessively strict either way.

The connection between palm oil and Coca Cola has amused me. There might be a shit tonne of sugar in it, but it is fat free, so not directly responsible for that particular health and environmental crime. Confused

FishCanFly · 23/07/2019 10:27

You do realise that one persons's controlling is another person's parenting! I know I'd rather meet a child who has been parented by their parents, than one who has been allowed to do as they please. At 11 they need a lot of 'controling', it's how they learn!!

an overreaction to make a conflict out of it. So she pigged out on ice creams. Hmm Unless there was another family member who was greatly upset by not having theirs, don't see why the fuss.

BarbedBloom · 23/07/2019 10:29

YABU

LaurieMarlow · 23/07/2019 10:30

an overreaction to make a conflict out of it. So she pigged out on ice creams

It’s greedy and selfish and then she lied about it. How is it an overreaction to pull her up on it?

When you hear things like this, it’s not surprising that the UK had such poor relationship with food.

LittleMousewithcloggson · 23/07/2019 10:37

I would have gone the same as you
Because if the lying more than anything else
Alternatively I would have let her finish it but made her buy another pack for anyone else as there’s usually only 3 magnums in a pack and she’s eaten everyone’s!

2Rebecca · 23/07/2019 10:39

Greed and lying are the issues here.

FishCanFly · 23/07/2019 10:41

my own family were very much like "taking an extra candy without permission is THEFT and God will punish you" - so yeah, an extra treat, permission or not, is not a hill i want to die on. I don't warehouse unhealthy snacks, but there's a cookie jar. Empty in in no time - then there won't be any left until the next weekly shop.

LaurieMarlow · 23/07/2019 10:45

so yeah, an extra treat, permission or not, is not a hill i want to die on.

Great, knock yourself out.

I don’t want my child to think that eating that much fat and sugar in the one day and then lying about it is ok.

We’re all different.

GabsAlot · 23/07/2019 10:50

Extra treat? ive never had 3 ice creams in a day in my life as an adult i think one a day is even too much

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 23/07/2019 10:51

It's a greedy child, not a hungry child who eats 3 Magnums in a day it and she knew full well it was wrong or she wouldn't have been so sneaky about it.
Yanbu OP.
I can't believe some of the responses on here, bullying, controlling and all the rest of it including them not being costly? It would soon add up if two kids were eating 2+ magnums a day.
Bonkers thread is this.

thedayofthethreeMagnums · 23/07/2019 10:53

Extra treat? ive never had 3 ice creams in a day in my life as an adult i think one a day is even too much

I am horrified at what some of the posters consider healthy food, OP included, but let's not go overboard. It's another kind of unhealthy attitude to have a complete ban on ice-cream Grin

you know you can buy standard size ones, no need to go for the Magnums...

FishCanFly · 23/07/2019 10:55

Extra treat? ive never had 3 ice creams in a day in my life as an adult i think one a day is even too much
I do. If i feel like it. Maybe I will not even want to look at ice cream for the next two or three months. But a whole tub of Ben&Jerry's... all to myself... that is heaven Wink

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 23/07/2019 10:56

No that is gluttony.

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