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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

315 replies

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 19:58

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

OP posts:
Malyshek · 22/07/2019 20:24

I'm actually astonished you let her have two, let alone three ! I'd have said no after the first one.

As children we weren't allowed to help ourselves. I'm always surprised to hear about kids who are allowed to grab whatever they want from the fridge. Seems bad manners to me ?

If anything you're being fairly lax with her !

Elletine · 22/07/2019 20:26

YANBU I would do the same. The lesson is not to lie!

CottonSock · 22/07/2019 20:27

3x full size magnums makes me feel quite sick! Yanbu.

cheesydoesit · 22/07/2019 20:29

YANBU, her lying and the selfish attitude would have annoyed me.

Bluetrews25 · 22/07/2019 20:31

YABU to have binned it. I would have re-frozen or eaten it myself!

Bourbonbiccy · 22/07/2019 20:31

YANBU that is a massive amount of sugar, and sugar is not just to do with weight.

Yes, lying is the one thing that boils my blood, my son will be getting taught that lying (even by omission ) is not acceptable behaviour.

ReanimatedSGB · 22/07/2019 20:32

YABU and a bit of a bully. Unless you are very short of money and her eating the ice creams mean the rest of you will be doing without them all week, then you need to unclench and get over it. Policing a kid's food choices like this (particularly a female kid) runs the risk of giving her dodgy ideas about food - that it's wrong to eat for pleasure, that being fat is a terrible crime, etc. And taking food away as a punishment is a shitty thing to do.

Ineedtoknowit · 22/07/2019 20:32

Yanbu

minipie · 22/07/2019 20:33

YANBU.

I’m amazed at the poster who thinks you’re being controlling about food. Parents are supposed to control (to an extent, not micromanage) what their children eat, especially the amount of sugar and junk - it’s part of the job of keeping them healthy and teaching them healthy habits for the future.

Even leaving the health aspects aside, it’s not ok for her to eat so many of something without considering the rest of the family. How do those who allow “help yourself” eating do any meal planning? What if you intended to use the cheese for dinner and someone’s eaten it all? Even DH asks before he grabs something from the fridge in case I have plans for it.

TurnOffTheTv · 22/07/2019 20:33

Why did you let her have two??

user1493413286 · 22/07/2019 20:34

I would have made her throw it away for the sneaky behaviour as it sounds like she knew full well that your DH didn’t think she was having a magnum

lastqueenofscotland · 22/07/2019 20:34

It’s not what she’s had it’s in that her having it she’s knowingly deprived the rest of the family that is just not on

maddiemookins16mum · 22/07/2019 20:34

Nobody needs 3 magnums, it’s greedy.

motherheroic · 22/07/2019 20:35

It's not just about the sugar and such, it's the fact that she is being inconsiderate and not leaving any for anyone else.

daisypond · 22/07/2019 20:35

The lying would bother me more than the ice creams per se.

Frangipane · 22/07/2019 20:37

Not unreasonable at all. For me, it isn't about the sugar, it is about the lying and sneakiness and the sheer greed of having 3 large Magnums in a day. Even my much older children know that one ice cream a day is sufficient and they do their best to eat me out of house and home on a daily basis. I used to take more biscuits than I was allowed as a child and once, when I was caught out, bit hastily into the extra biscuit thinking that would mean I would get to finish it. Of course, my mother took it away from me and it ended up in the bin. It was something I never forgot, and I think your dd will remember this for a long time to come too, which is a good thing imo.

Ponoka7 · 22/07/2019 20:37

Do you monitor her carb untake before she has toast?

It's anything that causes insulin resistance that is the issue.

Carbs are fueling the obesity crises and the record nunber of diabetes cases.

It was overly controling.

birthdayzilla · 22/07/2019 20:38

YANBU! She’s only little, it’s important to send the message that lying or sneaking won’t be allowed in your family.

LegionOfDoom · 22/07/2019 20:39

ReanimatedSGB

That’s rubbish. She knew she shouldn’t eat it, which is why she lied about asking her dad. Also, bully? That’s a ridiculous comment to make. Op has every right to help her dd make health choices in regards to food. She also has every right to police her sugar intake

CallmeAngelina · 22/07/2019 20:41

I recently checked out how many WeightWatchers points a magnum was. Can't remember exactly, but it wasn't far off the entire day's allowance. And she had 3????

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/07/2019 20:41

I'd have told her to put it back in the freezer in a plastic bag and next time she was allowed an ice cream she could have the half eaten one.

YouTheCat · 22/07/2019 20:41

She's being really greedy. As it's really hot, get some cheap ice lollies or ice pops.

TheresWaldo · 22/07/2019 20:42

My first thought is why she had 2 this morning, and you didn't do/say anything then.

Lllot5 · 22/07/2019 20:43

It’s obviously not ok to have three magnums in one day. ( I could but wouldn’t ).
But I don’t think I would’ve thrown it away just not bought any for a while.

Idontwanttotalk · 22/07/2019 20:43

There must be about 1000 calories in 3 magnums. Combined with fries, biscuits, a coke and a dinner, that is an enormous amount for an adult to eat, never mind a child.

I hope the dinner was nutritious as her diet sounds pretty appalling. It doesn't matter if she is skinny/thin, it matters that she is being stuffed with sugar and fat. You can be thin and still get clogged arteries.