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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

315 replies

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 19:58

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

OP posts:
Nesssie · 23/07/2019 10:58

What a batshit thread
Only on Mumsnet will you be labelled a control freak and a bully for suggesting 3 magnums is not ok for an 11 year old So so true

And not being in control of your child's diet is what is leading to the childhood obesity problems we currently have.
Children don't have great self control. That is why you have to parent them.

I would happily eat 3 magnums a day even if I wasn't hungry - because I'm greedy and love chocolate/sugar. But as an adult, I have enough self control and life experience to know that that isn't sensible.

nokidshere · 23/07/2019 11:01

Crumbs what a bonkers thread Confused

YABU only for "putting it in the bin" yuk! It should have gone in the sink and been melted then washed away.

twoshedsjackson · 23/07/2019 11:13

PP upthread asked about SmartPoints value for a Magnum, just for context. Depending on flavour, it's between 12 (eg raspberry) and 15 (eg gold). As well as a daily allowance of about 24 SmartPoints (depending on current weight, height, age & sex) you get 42 optional SmartPoints tp spread over the week. Just for info!
This is beside the point (sorry, just realised the unintentional pun!)
She is old enough to know:
Treats in the freezer are for all the family, and she nevertheless scarfed three from a pack of four
She's had a nutritious supper, and is well-versed in what is freely available for snacking; she isn't being deprived.
Her DF, given the full facts, would have backed her DM and steered her towards another option. Carefully phrasing the request as asking for "supper" is a carefully-worded example of "edited highlights" - deliberately sly.
I would guess that stomping on in a huff is more to do with being caught out in her greed, selfishness and mendacity, than ravenous hunger!
I'd guess that she has already picked up the lesson in school that this sort of treat is to be enjoyed in moderation.
And now she's had another lesson from home: her parents communicate and work together, and liars get caught out.

thedayofthethreeMagnums · 23/07/2019 11:17

what's a SmartPoint?

Is it some weightwatchers related calorie intake measure?

BertrandRussell · 23/07/2019 11:19

For me it would depend a lot on how many magnums there were and how many people in the family. My children have always been able to help themselves to whatever’s around, but I expect them to make sure there’s enough left for other people.

Brefugee · 23/07/2019 11:20

I'm amazed that more people aren't commenting on the unfairness aspect of one family member eating 3 from a pack of 4 of something that was obviously bought as a treat.

DD has one, fair enough. Her DB then started one (one bite) didn't like it and gave it to her. Great! sibling bonus.

There are then 2 left for the parents. And she sneakily and greedily ate one of those. That's where I'd be focussing. And making her buy a replacement and say sorry. Perhaps the parents were looking forward to an ice-cream snack later? It doesn't sound as though they often have them in the house after all.

Magnums are horrible, though. Frozen chocolate? no thanks.

transformandriseup · 23/07/2019 11:21

If the magnums were part of a multipack they will be smaller than an individual one or at least they were when I worked in ice cream distribution. Also the individual ones are much smaller than they were in the 90’s to maximise Wall’s profits.

Anyway that’s not the point of the OP. Yanbu, 2 in a day wasn’t too bad for an active child but 3 was a bit much. Also I would only buy one pack per week and once they are gone they are gone.

thedayofthethreeMagnums · 23/07/2019 11:39

on the unfairness aspect of one family member eating 3 from a pack of 4 of something that was obviously bought as a treat.

I have 4 kids, the concept of sharing had to be started from toddlerhood Grin
but some people seem to make a HUGE mountain of an ice-cream and the family being deprived of a TREAT. It's an ice-cream, bloody hell, who cares if you have to wait until you next pop to the shop to buy another one.

Are Magnums the new "Posh ice-creams" or something?

twoshedsjackson · 23/07/2019 11:49

Yes, the dayofthethreemagnums, it's a sort of shorthand for calories.
Some foods, like fresh fruit, vegetables, unprocessed meat, simple protein, are zero pointed. You could have a zero points meal if you wanted, eg egg, mushroom and tomatoes for breakfast. Other foods have a points value. They may be nutritionally valuable in other ways, but eaten in moderation. Nothing is off limits, but the highly processed, full of additives stuff tends to be accordingly high in points, and you make an informed choice. I'm great on the theory (sigh!)
But little Magnum snarfer doesn't need to know all this stuff; she's young, fit and slim, and being steered towards healthy eating habits. It's the greed and underhand behaviour which is the heart of the issue.
I bet OP would have been just as cross if DD had "innocently" got permission from Dad to waltz off shopping with a friend, having been "not this time, because........" by DM.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 23/07/2019 11:52

I'm so tempted to start a thread saying my DH ate three magnums out of a box of 4, in one day, AIBU to be pissed off? Every single thread I've seen like that, involving adults, contains the phrases "greedy selfish pig" and, my own personal favourite Grin, "get a lockbox for your own treats"

But for children, this seems to be fine? Surely they are the very people we should be educating as obesity is such a real problem these days. My DC certainly aren't banned from all junk (although they are older now so can order their own Uber eats Wink) and we do certainly have "junky" days, but I'd still be Shockat one 11yr old eating three magnums in one day, leaving one for everyone else. It is greed, how can it be anything else? I genuinely don't understand how it can be anything else? And she knows it's wrong as she lied about it!

63g of sugar
732 calories
45g of fat

This is a huge amount of shite in one day, plus the lying and the selfishness, would make me irritated. DC should know to expect consequences as they know it was wrong (as they lied).

PS I really want to know more about satsumas on toast! It sounds so odd but I suppose it's a bit like marmalade? Which is also wrong Wink

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 23/07/2019 11:52

I fucking love magnums, btw Smile

TildaKauskumholm · 23/07/2019 11:55

Amazed that kids are allowed to eat whatever they want, whenever!

RoseMartha · 23/07/2019 12:01

The lying and being greedy and not being considerate of others would have annoyed me.

If she has three, there means no more for other members in the house.

The lying is not ok.

And it is a lot of sugar.

My kids usually sneakily eat cake and chocolate which i have now taken to hiding and getting put a little at a time. Unfortunately not possible with ice cream.

BertrandRussell · 23/07/2019 12:04

“Amazed that kids are allowed to eat whatever they want, whenever!“
Why? I brought my children to be thoughtful and considerate.

thedayofthethreeMagnums · 23/07/2019 12:31

I agree, I get you hide things from a toddler, but once the kids are of primary-school age, you shouldn't need to hide anything. There's something wrong if you feel you have to.

INeedNewShoes · 23/07/2019 12:37

I am horrified at what some of the posters consider healthy food, OP included,

Please can you elaborate on this dayofthethreemagnums? OP was clear that she knows magnums, Coke and fries are not healthy foods.

I thought their meals sounded really good.

And for growing children/teenagers I would have thought that a piece of fruit or slice of granary toast is a good supper (or snack or whatever anyone wants to call it). Both have decent nutritional value.

MyNeighboursAreWeird · 23/07/2019 12:50

Why would you make her throw it in the bin? Control freak alert

CodenameVillanelle · 23/07/2019 12:53

YANBU
I've binned chocolate before when DS took it when I'd said no. That's very sneaky and naughty.

saywhatwhatnow · 23/07/2019 13:12

This thread is crazy.

I probably would not have made her throw it away as that's encouraging food waste. I would've let her eat it, explained why it was bad (greedy, high calories, already had lots of 'junk/treats' however you word it that day) and told her that you are cross at her for lying to you. And then said no more treats for a few days. A PP has suggested getting other family members something that she can't have just to make sure it hits home, which I think is a good idea. You're just encouraging her to think about her food intake, kids need to be taught these things. She's 11 and testing boundaries.

And fruit and toast is fine as a snack for a child. As long as it's not half a loaf of white bread smothered in Nutella! C'mon people!

AzraiL · 23/07/2019 13:59

YANBU. She was being deceptive and inconsiderate.

MysweetAudrina · 23/07/2019 14:22

My then 5 and 6 year old manged to eat 3 boxes of ice creams (twisters, fruit pastilles and loop the loops) between them. I did the shopping Saturday afternoon and went to get one from the freezer on Sunday evening. 3 empty boxes. Of course both of them only had one each and had no idea who ate the other ones. They are still alive and skinny.

Bin85 · 23/07/2019 14:26

OK I'm quite old but ice creams are for special occasions and certainly no more than 1 a day even on holiday.
Children ask before taking them in my book .

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/07/2019 14:54

This thread is MN gold, far better than my halloumi one.Grin
Excellent work OP.
What flavour magnums btw, I think coconut are the best.

CrackOn · 23/07/2019 14:56

What flavour magnums btw, I think coconut are the best.

Shock Mint, surely?!

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 23/07/2019 15:45

@IHaveBrilloHair you have a halloumi thread?