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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that she keeps dumping clothes on me?

284 replies

LongIslandTea60 · 22/07/2019 17:11

A lady I know asked me a while ago what size my kids were in as she had some clothes that were too small and wanted to give them to me. My kids already have too much so I said no thankyou, but she insisted.

Today I have come home from work to find 6 bags of clothes in varying ages by my door. The majority are stained, have holes in, faded and smell damp. I literally could have cried when I got home. The local skip in our area is only open 1 day per week and its closed by the time I get home from work. I cant give it to charity, its not fit for anyone to wear.

I feel ungrateful but why the hell would anyone give someone clothes in that state? I dont know what to do with it all! AIBU?

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 22/07/2019 17:53

Put on Facebook that you're really upset that someone flytipped a load of old tat on your doorstep and now you have to somehow get rid of it and you can't think who would do such a thing Grin

sonjadog · 22/07/2019 17:53

She can´t be bothered taking them to the tip herself and it is easier for her to dump them on you. Do you want to be the person who disposes of her rubbish for her? Then take them back round and leave them on her doorstep and say no thanks.

Her0utdoors · 22/07/2019 17:53

Charity shops often take 'rags' for recycling. I'd be getting blunt with her by this point.

SirGawain · 22/07/2019 17:55

I would just dispose of them discreetly. The gesture was well meant and it would be really offensive and passive aggressive to return them. I very much doubt that she is giving them to you from any base motive.

Sicario · 22/07/2019 17:56

Call her and say "can you please come and remove the bags of rags that you left on my doorstep."

Willow2017 · 22/07/2019 17:59

Giving someone clothes which are dirty, mouldy and smelly with holes in them is not out of the kindness of their hearts its just dumping crap on someone.

Jeeze op doesnt have to accept any old crap dumped on her doorstep and be grateful!

RushianDisney · 22/07/2019 17:59

Eurgh I hate people who do this, it's so scummy and lazy trying to dump your old tat on others. As this woman has just dumped the stuff on you after you told her you didn't want them, I would be dumping right back on her doorstep. If it's not walking distance call her and say it's all too small and can she take it back as you don't have time to go to the tip.

hazandduck · 22/07/2019 18:02

I’d be so embarrassed to give someone stained clothes! I gave a close friend a select couple of baby grows when she had her little girl but only because they were really sweet and we were both having ‘rainbow babies’ and these outfits had rainbows on. I had to wash them and make sure they looked pristine first! I don’t get how people don’t feel embarrassed/ashamed to give someone else dirty clothes...I wouldn’t even do that to charity.

However, if it was me it wouldn’t even occur to me that someone was giving me clothes out of laziness/cheekiness. I would just think they were trying to help me out. We’ve been given loads of baby/toddler clothes and toys from friends I never thought it was them ‘dumping’ stuff.

Some charities collect from your doorstep, they put bags through the letterbox, could you maybe do that OP to save you lugging stuff anywhere?

urbanlife · 22/07/2019 18:03

Your are not a charity shop, straight back.

Drum2018 · 22/07/2019 18:04

I wouldn't hesitate to give them back to her and say that you already have too much so she can pass them on to someone else who might use them. There is nothing confrontational about that. She's just using you as a dump. Don't let her.

EnglishBreakfastPlease · 22/07/2019 18:06

A lady you know... So not even a friend or family member? I think you have nothing to lose, dump them back on her doorstep. If she calls or texts just do as PPs suggested and say something along the lines "I did tell you I didn't need anything, so I returned them so that you could have them back/pass them on to someone who needs this rubbish stuff"

popehilarious · 22/07/2019 18:07

"I did say no thank you, so I'm just popping them back to you. Cheerio!"

Original poster
LongIslandTea60 · 22/07/2019 18:08

Ok I'm not that brave so I just sent her a whatsapp message saying "did you leave all of those clothes on my doorstep? It's very kind but we are over run with clothes so would you like them back to give to someone else" shes read it and not replied.

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 22/07/2019 18:08

She can't give the bags to charity, the clothes are no good. They need getting rid of or putting on a bonfire.

A family member once said she had some baby clothes for my sister and dropped them round at my aunt's. Upon opening the bag, my sister was mortified to discover that the family member had attached a price to each individual bib, babygrow ect, all of which were creased and stained.
Some people have low standards. Even on eBay, people try and sell holey and stained clothes.

daisyboocantoo · 22/07/2019 18:12

I had this too, my neighbour is a cleaner and would leave everything she was given outside my doors (four kids).

I had to ask her not too, life's too short for that!

lotusbell · 22/07/2019 18:12

She's passing them on to you literally to save herself the job of taking them to a charity shop or bin. So I'd return them and call her out on that bit: "I did say already that I didn't need them and unfortunately, I don't have the time to take someone else's stuff to the charity shop. You'll have to wait until you get one of those bags through your letterbox". I would emphasize the 'someone else's' part. Just CF and she will do it again if allowed. As an earlier poster said, so many people pass on stuff and tell YOU to take it to charity it no needed/liked/doesn't fit. Errr, no!

Tobebythesea · 22/07/2019 18:13

Please drop them back to her house. It’s offensive that they are too small, strained and have holes in. Why should you have to spend your precious time sorting out her tat?

WhoKnewBeefStew · 22/07/2019 18:13

If she doesn't reply I'd put them on her doorstep and text her to say 'you didn't reply, and I didn't want to give them to the charity shop before you'd answered, so I've left them at your house'.

Celticrose · 22/07/2019 18:15

If no answer you could send message and say that as she doesn't want them you will take them to cash for clothes and thank her for her kindness.

DaphneduM · 22/07/2019 18:15

I would avoid confrontation myself. Our council takes textiles for recycling - alternatively there are clothes bins at the recycling centres. Not worth feeling bad about it - just get rid!

Kanga83 · 22/07/2019 18:16

Take them back and cheerfully say 'thanks but my kids are good for clothes and have too much so I've brought them back as I'm sure you have others you know who would love these! Must dash! Bye!'

Kanga83 · 22/07/2019 18:18

Just read you asked her if she wants them back- don't ask, go dump them back on her doorstep then WhatsApp her 'as promised I've brought them back'

ineedaknittedhat · 22/07/2019 18:19

She'll start dumping old toys and books on you next. You need to dump the clothing back at hers.

Sicario · 22/07/2019 18:21

What @lotusbell said.

Why should you have to put yourself out to drop her detritus back? Tell her to come and get it and take it elsewhere.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 22/07/2019 18:23

She thinks your her local skip service. I hope you won’t end up taking them to your local recycling!