To be pissed off that she keeps dumping clothes on me?

[LongIslandTea60]

A lady I know asked me a while ago what size my kids were in as she had some clothes that were too small and wanted to give them to me. My kids already have too much so I said no thankyou, but she insisted.

Today I have come home from work to find 6 bags of clothes in varying ages by my door. The majority are stained, have holes in, faded and smell damp. I literally could have cried when I got home. The local skip in our area is only open 1 day per week and its closed by the time I get home from work. I cant give it to charity, its not fit for anyone to wear.

I feel ungrateful but why the hell would anyone give someone clothes in that state? I dont know what to do with it all! AIBU?

I’d also be tempted to ask what situation requires someone to deem it ok to ‘gift’ someone damp, soiled, holey clothes.

so easy, just message back: " you very kind to donate your clothes, but we don't need them and have enough. It would be better if they go to someone who really needs them, so I will be dropping the back at yours. Thanks again for thinking of us. xx"

Why not ring Cash4Clothes?
They'll come to your house, weight the lot and pay you for them?

Can't you put them in the dustbin?

No to the poster who asked if it was a British thing.

I only ever had handmedowns from one person at work. Her stuff was fabulous, spotless, lots of osh kosh (we are talking the nineties) and a load of Gap. I was bloody delighted.

Shame she never had a girl too.

Do her children run around in stained, holey, smelly clothes? If not, why would she think yours should?

You can have a robust discussion/assert yourself,it doesn’t have to be a confrontation

I agree, and it doesn't have to be particularly robust. But then if everyone was politely but firmly assertive Mumsnet would be tiny.

Fourth post down merryoldgoat has it perfectly. Completely inoffensive and just gives the right message.

Are they really “stained, holey and smelly” clothes, or just clothes op doesn’t want? How bad can they be that they were worth driving 7 miles to drop off?

Take them to your local “cash for clothes” site.

I'd go back in the middle of the night and strew them all over her lawn, but I know I'm more aggressive than the norm I did that with a bag of household rubbish someone had dumped in my skip - went through it 'til I found an address, then burst the bag on their drive and spread it all over. I saw a curtain twitching...

That’s just shitty, Juells. Could you not even put it in a bin?

Bloody cheek!!
Who is this woman and how would she know or think about your ‘situation?’
Don’t waste anymore time on this, just take them back to her and leave on her doorstep

How dare she presume your ‘situation ‘

Reply and say
I do really appreciate the offer but it would be more of a help for you to take them back as a lot of them are too small so I’m going to have to find the time to repurpose them.

You can have a robust discussion/assert yourself,it doesn’t have to be a confrontation

OP, this is spot on!

Err, you could say you looked through it and most is already too small, so handing it back to let her find a more suitable recipient.

Age UK take the clothes that are beyond hope and get money for them as rags. Worth a punt.

Fgs, how many more people are going to pile in with suggestions of how the OP can get rid of these clothes?!
She knows that! The main irritation is that this woman has passed on her own problem of what to do with them to the Op. That's being a cheeky fucker.

I would definitely give them back. You said you didn't want them very clearly. Good luck!
Btw- it's only Oxfam that doesn't send clothes to the tip. All the rest will tip what can't be sold

Why do so many posters think.we all live near a 'cash for clothes'?

There isn't one for 50 miles where I live. Nobody is going to come and collect such a small amount of clothes for an 100 mile round trip!

Why the hell is it ops problem to get rid of them? She repeatedly said no yet gets a load of crap not fit to wear on her doorstep.

Oh, you can’t really give them back, can you? You don’t have to keep them, but shoving them back at her would be hurtful.

Hurtful? Really? She dumped a load of dirty mouldy clothes on her doorstep expecting her to.be grateful because this woman thinks she has some sort of 'situation' that requires her to dress her children in rags! If that's not a humiliating and hurtful thing to do I dont know what is.

Not being funny but no one likes confrontation?

Take them back and say: thank you for the clothes but I've really got too much already and sadly these clothes are too small. Feel free to give them to someone else.

Thanks so much..... then run to your car.

She lazy

What is your situation that she thinks this is kind?

There isn't any kindness attached to her actions.

OP said No thank you and this woman has dumped bags on her doorstep.

I would return the bags without further ado.

I certainly wouldn't be texting her to thank her for thinking of me!

Is there a charity clothes bin near by? If the clothes are not usable they sell by weight as filler and still get some money. Then deny all knowledge of bags so you don't have to be grateful /she doesn't do it again!

Thanks so much..... then run to your car.

Why would you say 'thanks so much'?

Thanks for what?