to think my friend should have given some consideration to her wedding guests?

[Googoogoogoogoo]

My friend recently got married. She and her DH decided they wanted a “small and intimate” wedding as they don’t have many friends and don’t get along with their families.

My DH and I felt really honoured to be included but after the wedding it was clear she had given no consideration to her guests!

They got married at a registry office and my friend asked if I would pick her up and take her, so she could put some decorations for the reception and other bits in my car. Of course I had no problems with this but when we arrived my friend asked me to park in the nearest car park which is a “long stay” and ended up costing me 25 quid for six hours. She didn’t offer to pay and I felt bad asking her on her wedding day so decided to let it go, but I thought this was super cheeky.

My friend and her DH decided to hold the reception in a function room in a restaurant and sent out invites via FB messenger with a list of menu choices. After the ceremony we get to the reception and my friends father did a speech before dinner is served. He ended his speech with “thank you all for coming, and for contributing to the costs of the meal, I know (friend) and (her husband) have struggled with money so they appreciate it”. Everyone looked a bit confused but it soon became clear that we were to pay for own meals, and the 3 courses we had pre ordered were £70 each! drinks were also not included and had to be paid for ourselves. Me and DH were miffed, we aren’t the richest of people and it cost us £165 to attend my friends wedding. If friend had pre-warned us we could have saved a bit but she didn’t tell anyone we had to pay for ourselves.

Added to this, me and DH clubbed together £100 as a wedding gift for them and we haven’t heard from them since. The wedding was in May and no thank you card or message or anything.

I’m really actually cross about this and wonder if I’m BU. I get that the wedding should be what the bride and groom wants but I think my friend and her DH have been CFs.

Thats a good idea di11y That way you dont even have to find the card to remove the money

Blatant placemarking waiting for the update.

I just re-read the opening post and this: "...hey don’t have many friends and don’t get along with their families." made me wonder why. I think they'll have even less friends and family after that fiasco.

Rainbowknickers, I'm aghast at the rudeness of criticising the card and gift. Good for you nicking their cake! I too don't agree with stealing but that really made me laugh! You would have been given a bit of cake anyway so just helped yourself to save them the bother of cutting and wrapping it. Quite considerate really. Hee hee.

Yep as above I would have walked out definitely- if they said anything I'd say you can use the money in the card for our meals. Or if I could get the card back I'd still have walked out and took it with me. Fuckers.

You say in the first paragraph that they don't have many friends and it's not hard to see why, is it? They certainly were CFs, I'd let their friendship slip away IIWU. Not even the grace to say thank you. No wonder you're miffed.

Rachellover40 why thank you
bows
I was bloody fuming and I wouldn’t dream of stealing normally but I just lost it
I found out later on that they where looking forward to eating the whole 3 tiered chocolate cake all to themselves afterwards and didn’t want to share it
Oops...

Juells

It's an absolute joke isn't it? I'm actually going to a wedding next month that sounds very like the last one you attended. The couple have stated strictly no gifts and no stayover at hotel needed. It's basically just a meal and a drink in a pub after the quick ceremony. I'm actually looking forward to this one. Oh and no hen do or stag do to add to the cost.

YANBU

Little wonder they have few friends really

At my wedding, DPs and DPILs put together to pay for all wine, beer, fruits juices and soft drinks . If people wanted spirits they paid for them . This was made clear on the invites.
Buffet nobody paid a thing . It was our treat and Thanks to those family and friends who came to celebrate our wedding with us. Can't say I have ever been to a wedding where I paid for anything other than drinks (unless free drinks , as some weddings have been free alcohol)

She wouldn't be my friend anymore. Who friends so deceitful?

Frankly l would have stood up and left, and picked up my wedding gift on the way.

Being unable to afford a wedding and needing some pre arranged contribution is (just) acceptable...this is beyond rude and l am amazed you all just carried on!

No wonder they have few friends. I'd let that friendship go tbh.

YANBU. Terrible behaviour, not to mention friend-limiting. I even suspect that the 'guests' payment also covered the family party. (I would actually have refused to pay, I think).

This is not the action of a friend.

I guess you could post oh Facebook something like, 'good party, shame the meal was so expensive, especially as you hadn't expected to need so much cash with you to cover it'. Bit passive, aggressive maybe, but well deserved. I'd also ask for a refund on the parking. On Facebook.

Grasping so and sos, I'd have had to have walked out, I have three children, I couldn't justify paying so much on one meal for myself just so my presence could add to the measly guest list.

Rainbow well done on your restraint. I'd have felt like engineering a red wine mishap very close to the bride if I'd been through that ordeal. I hope you managed to recoup some money from the outfits on eBay, laughed heartily at the photo request and found somewhere snug to shove their vouchers.

I’m not questioning why they don’t have many friends acting like this! Absolutely outrageous.

If you were expected to pay for your own meal she could have at least run it by everyone and make sure everyone would have been able to afford £70 for a 3 course meal. So rude!

Exactly puzzled, a text is better.

That's shocking. I don't usually have 140 quid on me because I'm skint most of the the time so I would have been mortified.

God, that's awful.....no wonder they don't have many friends or family.

@Rainbowknickers omg, I'm loving the image of you seeing red and storming out with the cake 😂😂 Good on you

Haha I rarely lose my temper but I just stormed up to the bar and took it in full view of everyone

They where busy sucking up to her parents to notice

I wish I’d seen their faces when the penny dropped and everyone told them it was me

I got a few more wears out of the kids outfits (2 christenings and another wedding) in the end then they went on a selling site on fb I made about £100 back

And I told them just where their vouchers where going if I ever crossed paths with them again

They knew I meant it so have avoided me ever since-to the point they ran away when they saw me in Tesco a few months later

I had to smile when I found out they’d gone on honeymoon a week later and it pissed down the whole time!

English weddings tend to be exceptionally inhospitable and stingy. I've been to a few weddings across Europe. Only in England I've been to weddings where :1) there was no food and you had to pay for all drinks at the bar in an ugly cold barn, 2) the wedding stretched over 3 days, guests had to bring their own tents and pay £80 for barbecued food, 3) a wedding where the only thing to eat were horrid (Tesco?) burgers and muffins, again no free drinks. People have no shame, in a way it's admirable but on the other hand if you can't afford to feed your guests, maybe you shouldn't invite them at all? I don't particularly like being hungry and cold for hours and pretending it's the most fun I've ever had.

Wow! I would have to say something!

@Rainbowknickers

I paid a fortune in a wedding present only to be told I had to take it back and give them the money
Did you take the present back and keep the money?

I stole their wedding cake and haven’t spoken to them since
They sound an absolute nightmare and you sound extremely patient to jump through all their hoops. Hope the cake was good!

Happynow001 they kept the vouchers in the end and I hope the mixer I paid for mangles their greedy fingers
Haha my kids enjoyed the cake-they had the neck to whinge it cost £400 and I should repay them-I told them when they repaid what their wedding had cost me then I’d deduct it from my bill
I never heard another peep from them-they ran away from me in Tesco!

English weddings tend to be exceptionally inhospitable and stingy. I've been to a few weddings across Europe.

@Moomin12345 to be fair those few examples you have cited are not the norm. Cold barns, no food and cheap nasty food are the very few and far between ones that usually end up on forums such as this rightly calling the B&G CFers.

If you want to call English weddings inhospitable then I would expect that to be down to most having cash bars but to be fair, alcoholic drinks in wedding venues in the UK are vastly overpriced in comparison to countries such as Spain or France. Free bars can cost the B&G crazy amounts when their guests go overboard. A wedding is often an excuse to let loose and get pissed and you wouldn't find many people on the cheap lagers when free good spirits are available.

I don't mind paying for my own booze but I would have been screwed had I been presented with a surprise £140 dinner bill at a wedding. I wouldn't pay that much anywhere!

@Rainbowknickers
🤣😂