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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL won't take my daughter to Legoland

252 replies

MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:01

Okay I'm really annoyed about this so would appreciate thoughts from others.

My MIL is quite a young grandmother and has two friends with young children, similar age to my daughter who is nearly 11 months old, so they socialise together at a baby group. That's fine with me, I do other things with my daughter and it's nice that she has a good social life.
A few weeks ago MIL told me they were planning to go to Legoland and was it okay for her to take my daughter? I also have a new baby son so I have no problem with my daughter being taken on a day out that we can't really do ourselves with the baby just yet.

Anyway, my daughter has had some ongoing stomach problems for the past few months which had been dismissed as "just one of those things" until recently. She has now had a small procedure to correct things earlier this week and came out of hospital today. She is recovering well and has been really good about the whole thing, so I feel she deserves this day out more than ever. However, talking to MIL this morning, she just drops it into the conversation that she won't be taking my daughter to Legoland now (in 2 weeks time) because she doesn't think it's a good idea after the operation, although she is still going with her two friends and their children who are aged 18 months and 2 years. My daughter's stomach problem caused her to suffer badly with wind and sometimes get diarrhoea, which I appreciate isn't pleasant to deal with, but the procedure she has just had is meant to stop this from happening again, although because she's just had an operation her stomach will take a bit of time to settle, but not anywhere near as bad as it has been, and my MIL has looked after her many times when she's had one of these episodes.

So her argument now is:
"The other two children are walking so she'll have to be in her pushchair to keep up and I don't want to drag a pushchair all round Legoland".
And
"It's not really fair on the other two children if I bring a windy, smelly baby along who can't go on any of the rides".
But it was her SUGGESTION to take my daughter to Legoland (and there's plenty of rides she can go on), and her condition is now BETTER than it was when she made that suggestion.

So AIBU or is my MIL being totally ridiculous?

OP posts:

ThanosSavedMe · 20/07/2019 20:03

I don’t know why on earth you would take children that age to legoland anyway

jollygoose · 20/07/2019 20:03

You are being ridiculous she is a baby not a child who would mind being left out. It sounds to me she would be much better off at home.

Coffeeisnecessary · 20/07/2019 20:03

An 11 month old is a bit young for lego land I would have thought? I wouldn't think your dd would care or even know that she was missing it, Couldn't she do something else with her another day so you get a break?

ElizaPancakes · 20/07/2019 20:03

I can't think of anything I'd rather do less than take a non-walking child to an amusement park where they won't be able to join in with 99% of the activities. Also her stomach issues - even if 'better' although your post makes it sound like it's not yet resolved - make it even worse.

I think she's just thought it through and realised it was a bad idea, sorry YABU in this instance.

SummerInTheVillage · 20/07/2019 20:04

She's far too young for Legoland.

bigmap · 20/07/2019 20:04

This is a bit confusing. An 11 month old? She won't get anything out of it. So YABU. This is actually a bit funny it's so ridiculous. Were you just looking forward to a day minding only one child?

megletthesecond · 20/07/2019 20:04

An 11 month old post op child to Lego land? I wouldn't.

BananaSpanner · 20/07/2019 20:05

I’m with your MIL, an 11 month old isn’t going to get much out of Legoland but also if not 100% could impact on everyone else’s enjoyment.

NoSauce · 20/07/2019 20:06

This is a first, it’s usually the MIL wanting to take the baby and the mum doesn’t.

What was the operation your DD had? I can only think your MIL has your DDs best interest at heart here and for no selfish reason to why she doesn’t be think it’s a good idea.

I don’t understand why you’re so desperate for her to go?

sausagepastapot · 20/07/2019 20:06

YABU. I don't like taking my 6 year old to Legoland as I think its overcrowded and overpriced crap- would absolutely hate to take a non walker.

IamtheOA · 20/07/2019 20:06

Hmmm

The condition " settling down" is not the same as it being completely sorted.

Maybe it's a bit too soon?
She's 11 months, surely she won't understand that they've gone without her?

cate16 · 20/07/2019 20:06

I'm with the MIL with this one. Not sure what an 11 month would get out of Legoland for a day.

sunshinefinally · 20/07/2019 20:07

I personally wouldn't take her she's a bit young - tbh all three children are - and the not taking a pushchair thing?? They will regret that when they want to be carried!
The comment about a smelly baby isn't very nice!

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 20/07/2019 20:07

An 11-month won’t have a clue they are even in Legoland

Shplot · 20/07/2019 20:07

11 months is not a similar age to 18-24 months and wouldn’t enjoy it anyway never mind being post op.
When I first read it I thought you must be on about an 11 year old

LL83 · 20/07/2019 20:07

Sounds like she has realised an 11 month at Lego land is more work than she is willing/able to manage.

She should have gave it more thought before suggesting it. I guess she was excited and now more realistic. If she goes to baby group regularly sounds like she does enjoy your dd in general.

I wouldn't go to lego land with an 11 month old. And your daughter wont know she has missed out.

I understand why you are disappointed though.

pictish · 20/07/2019 20:07

Um...well. She has clearly decided she doesn’t want to be tied to a buggy and not being able to go on rides, so she has withdrawn the offer. Might have been better for her not to make it in the first place and if she’d thought about it, she probably wouldn’t have.

SIBU to go back on her offer. SINBU to not want to take a baby and all the gubbins associated, to Legoland.

So in short, I don’t know.

IamtheOA · 20/07/2019 20:08

And Legoland is hilly... it sucks pushing a pushchair up those hills

Lllot5 · 20/07/2019 20:08

Bit young for Lego land I think and at 11 months she won’t know she’s not going.
Plenty of time to take her when she’s properly over her op and a bit older.

notacooldad · 20/07/2019 20:08

I'm with your MIL on this one.
Shes thought it through and had a change of mind. Fair enough.
Theres going to be loads of chances to go there when she can really enjoy it.

sodonesooverit · 20/07/2019 20:08

YABU. At 11 months old, your baby doesn't give two shits about legoland. If you want a child free day, ask your mil nicely another time

Soubriquet · 20/07/2019 20:08

I first thought 11 years old and thought poor kid but 11 months old and fresh from an op?

The girl is better off staying with you and recuperating

She won’t know any different

2cats2many · 20/07/2019 20:08

Is your daughter's age a typo? If not, YABU. Why on earth would an 11month old care about legoland? She's a baby.

iogo · 20/07/2019 20:09

I get that you were looking forward to a break but tbh, I'm not sure how much your daughter will get out of a trip to legoland anyway.

If she's still having unpleasant stomach episodes, well, dealing with that in a place like legoland at peak season is totally different to dealing with it at Nanny's house or even the town centre.

Sorry, I think YAB a little U.

WillLokireturn · 20/07/2019 20:09

Yabu
Your MIL is right

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