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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL won't take my daughter to Legoland

252 replies

MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:01

Okay I'm really annoyed about this so would appreciate thoughts from others.

My MIL is quite a young grandmother and has two friends with young children, similar age to my daughter who is nearly 11 months old, so they socialise together at a baby group. That's fine with me, I do other things with my daughter and it's nice that she has a good social life.
A few weeks ago MIL told me they were planning to go to Legoland and was it okay for her to take my daughter? I also have a new baby son so I have no problem with my daughter being taken on a day out that we can't really do ourselves with the baby just yet.

Anyway, my daughter has had some ongoing stomach problems for the past few months which had been dismissed as "just one of those things" until recently. She has now had a small procedure to correct things earlier this week and came out of hospital today. She is recovering well and has been really good about the whole thing, so I feel she deserves this day out more than ever. However, talking to MIL this morning, she just drops it into the conversation that she won't be taking my daughter to Legoland now (in 2 weeks time) because she doesn't think it's a good idea after the operation, although she is still going with her two friends and their children who are aged 18 months and 2 years. My daughter's stomach problem caused her to suffer badly with wind and sometimes get diarrhoea, which I appreciate isn't pleasant to deal with, but the procedure she has just had is meant to stop this from happening again, although because she's just had an operation her stomach will take a bit of time to settle, but not anywhere near as bad as it has been, and my MIL has looked after her many times when she's had one of these episodes.

So her argument now is:
"The other two children are walking so she'll have to be in her pushchair to keep up and I don't want to drag a pushchair all round Legoland".
And
"It's not really fair on the other two children if I bring a windy, smelly baby along who can't go on any of the rides".
But it was her SUGGESTION to take my daughter to Legoland (and there's plenty of rides she can go on), and her condition is now BETTER than it was when she made that suggestion.

So AIBU or is my MIL being totally ridiculous?

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 20/07/2019 20:09

Legoland is a completely pointless experience for an 11 month old. Honestly, is this the hill you want to die on?

multiplemum3 · 20/07/2019 20:11

The fuck is an eleven month old gonna do at legoland?

MamImHere · 20/07/2019 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spottyowls · 20/07/2019 20:11

Why on earth would anyone want to take toddlers to Legoland, let alone an 11 month old baby?! Confused

herculepoirot2 · 20/07/2019 20:11

You have an 11 month old baby and a new baby? Good going, OP.

But calling your DD “windy and smelly” is the only thing your MIL has done wrong here. Legoland would be neither here nor there to a baby.

BlueMerchant · 20/07/2019 20:11

I'd be glad my mil was sensible and thoughtful enough to not still insist on taking her. Maybe she feels a little nervous after your dd's op.
She could always go next year when she will be able to get more from the trip.

PinkFlowerFairy · 20/07/2019 20:12

Gosh I wouldnt want a baby of mine at legoland especially post op - lots of people and germs and noise and crowds. Why on earth would you want them there!? Poor baby.

Id also hate to take someone elses baby!

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 20/07/2019 20:13

11 months old and in 2 weeks time right in the middle of the school summer holidays. Likely to be hot and mil has to push a pushchair in a crowded theme park with a baby who knows no difference

She's not being unreasonable not to take her.

Just wait until she's a little older, her condition is settled, and she can walk along and then see if mil can take her.

Or you know you could just take YOUR daughter yourself

IamWaggingBrenda · 20/07/2019 20:13

I have to agree with others - 11 months is too young for Legoland. I recall going to the zoo with my 5 yr old and my sister, who brought her abt 11 month old. It was rather tiresome, as we had to keep stopping for nappy changes, snack times, then leave early for nap time. Hmm Your DD probably wouldn’t get much out of the trip anyway.

IsobelRae23 · 20/07/2019 20:13

I think the fact that it’s Legoland is irrelevant really. It could be the beach, the zoo, anything.

Your MIL offered to take her when she was experiencing these problems, and besides she is a baby so is in nappies and unable to control her bowels yet.

The procedure she has had will have sorted this, and she will be recovered by the time this trip comes around, or else you would not have allowed her to go I’m guessing.

She is now using her having diarrhoea as an excuse not to go, when I’m fact it was actually worse when she offered to take her.

I can fully understand why you are annoyed. Yes she won’t remember it, as she’s not even one. But she’s happily taking other little ones, but now wants to leave yours at home and use this as an excuse (which is a poss poor, didn’t make sense excuse).

RomaineCalm · 20/07/2019 20:14

It sounds as if MIL got swept up with the idea of the Lego Land trip at first and only now realises that it wasn't such a good idea.

11 months is really too young for DC to get much of the day and there is a big difference between what you can do with a baby and a toddler. DC won't know that she's been 'missed off' the trip.

I would accept that it's not going to happen this time, thank MIL profusely for the offer and say that there will be plenty of other opportunities in the future for nice days out.

If you make an issue out of it this time then MIL would be entirely within her rights to think twice about offering again.

Starlight456 · 20/07/2019 20:14

I wouldn’t take toddler to Legoland never mind a baby.

Baby will be just as happy a trip to the park

Purpletigers · 20/07/2019 20:15

I can understand why your mil doesn’t want to take her . I can’t understand why she offered to take her in the first place .

Original poster
MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:15

Thank you for the replies.
I have to just make a couple of points, I'm fully aware she won't know whether she's going or not (or care!) and I agree that I think she's a bit too young, although there are plenty of baby rides that she can go on and that's the sort of thing the other two children will be doing all day.
My issue isn't about my daughter being upset or anything, it's the fact my MIL has pulled out and won't admit it was a pretty unsuitable suggestion to begin with.
She's three days post op now and doing great so in 2 weeks I have no concerns.
She can walk, not enough for a whole day in Legoland I admit, but she's not a complete non walker.
I don't want a day to myself with the baby, I'm more than happy to spend all my time with both of them, it was my decision to have them and they are my responsibility. I'm mainly just annoyed about MIL obviously just changing her mind, and yes the "smelly comment felt a bit nasty.
Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
Likethebattle · 20/07/2019 20:15

Yabu MIL doesn’t want to take her and the reason doesn’t matter she has the right to say no.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 20/07/2019 20:16

If you take the age aspect out of it then I'd say YANBU. However I think you are all being a bit unreasonable taking kids to Legoland at the ages you have mentioned. The 2yo maybe but even a 2yo won't walk all day surely so all 3 will be in a buggy, all 3 will need a nap at some point and none of them will really get much out of it. Plus it costs a fortune.

CarolDanvers · 20/07/2019 20:16

I think she's completely right.

Reallynowdear · 20/07/2019 20:16

Your MIL is behaving in a completely acceptable way regarding your daughters operation, sorry but YABU.

Walnutwhipster · 20/07/2019 20:17

Sorry. I agree with grandma. I wouldn't take my own 11 month old post op baby in the middle of the school holidays.

pikapikachu · 20/07/2019 20:17

Your MIL is in for a boring day with kids who are far too young to enjoy Legoland.

She was cruel to use words like smelly and to pull out last minute and it's lucky that your dd doesn't know about this offer.

Reallynowdear · 20/07/2019 20:17

3 days post op???

YADBVU

arethereanyleftatall · 20/07/2019 20:18

Yabu.
Maybe think about how lucky you are to have a mil who sounds like she helps out, when you have 2 children both under 1.

notacooldad · 20/07/2019 20:19

You are just being pretty at about your MIL and your update just confirmed it.

TSSDNCOP · 20/07/2019 20:19

Wasp land is no place for anyone under 5

BackforGood · 20/07/2019 20:19

YABVVVVVVVVU

Firstly it is ridiculous and pointless to take babies to Legoland. I mean, obviously if you have to take a baby because you have no-one to leave them with when you are taking older ones, but, apart from that, it's just pointless.
Then, expecting anyone to take your child out when they have stomach problems and diarrhea is beyond unreasonable.
Then, even if there were some circumstance whereby it would be reasonable for your Mum to take your baby out and didn't want to, it won't affect your dc at all, because they won't even be aware.

Think this must win the prize for the MOST entitled, unreasonable AIBU in a long, long time.