Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL won't take my daughter to Legoland

252 replies

MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:01

Okay I'm really annoyed about this so would appreciate thoughts from others.

My MIL is quite a young grandmother and has two friends with young children, similar age to my daughter who is nearly 11 months old, so they socialise together at a baby group. That's fine with me, I do other things with my daughter and it's nice that she has a good social life.
A few weeks ago MIL told me they were planning to go to Legoland and was it okay for her to take my daughter? I also have a new baby son so I have no problem with my daughter being taken on a day out that we can't really do ourselves with the baby just yet.

Anyway, my daughter has had some ongoing stomach problems for the past few months which had been dismissed as "just one of those things" until recently. She has now had a small procedure to correct things earlier this week and came out of hospital today. She is recovering well and has been really good about the whole thing, so I feel she deserves this day out more than ever. However, talking to MIL this morning, she just drops it into the conversation that she won't be taking my daughter to Legoland now (in 2 weeks time) because she doesn't think it's a good idea after the operation, although she is still going with her two friends and their children who are aged 18 months and 2 years. My daughter's stomach problem caused her to suffer badly with wind and sometimes get diarrhoea, which I appreciate isn't pleasant to deal with, but the procedure she has just had is meant to stop this from happening again, although because she's just had an operation her stomach will take a bit of time to settle, but not anywhere near as bad as it has been, and my MIL has looked after her many times when she's had one of these episodes.

So her argument now is:
"The other two children are walking so she'll have to be in her pushchair to keep up and I don't want to drag a pushchair all round Legoland".
And
"It's not really fair on the other two children if I bring a windy, smelly baby along who can't go on any of the rides".
But it was her SUGGESTION to take my daughter to Legoland (and there's plenty of rides she can go on), and her condition is now BETTER than it was when she made that suggestion.

So AIBU or is my MIL being totally ridiculous?

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 20/07/2019 20:56

Is this going to be a drip feed? What else has she done OP?

pigsDOfly · 20/07/2019 20:57

Why on earth anyone would think it a good idea to take children of 18 months and 2 years to Legoland is beyond me.

Yes, there will be things for them to do because it's a place for family days out and there will be a few rides for very young children, but it's not aimed at that age group. And to be there all day, at the start of the school summer holidays? Sounds like a planned visit to hell.

You MIL's remark about your DD being smelly was unkind but tbh, DD will be far better off at home with you. Can't imagine why MIL thought it was a good idea to offer to take her in the first place.

Original poster
MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:58

@Mayborn thank you :) Yes very early walker which surprised us all. She was 9 and a bit months.
@gamerwidow thank you.
@Sunshineface123 thank you. I honestly don't mind having both of them, I don't feel I need her to help, although some on this post probably disagree now! :)

OP posts:
OrangeCinnamon · 20/07/2019 20:58

YABU but i'm wondering why you actually care so much ?

RubbingHimSourly · 20/07/2019 20:58

There isn't anything in Legoland for a baby that age. You're being ridiculous.

sqeakywheel · 20/07/2019 21:01

We had annual passes for a couple of years. It's on the side of a hill, so a pushchair is bloody hard work. Also your dd is too young. We found that ds2 was too little for a lot of rides aged 4.
Paultons Park is much better as there is a small zoo and Peppa Pig world. Also some really gentle rides. But it's still a bit of a waste with anyone under two.
Also wind is painful for babies. I think it'd be better to wait until she is older. Simple pleasures are much better with babies.

Parsnippy · 20/07/2019 21:01

Yabu. I wouldn't bring an 11 month old to Legoland unless they were my baby and I was bringing other children. There would be no point. She could be at home playing with her toys or doing something more suitable for babies. I wouldn't take a baby that wasn't mine anywhere if they had just had an operation and were still having stomach problems.
Putting all that aside it is not unreasonable for your MIL to go to Legoland and not being your DD. My MIL has never brought my DD anywhere. Neither has my mother. Yours MIL takes your DD to baby group. She is hands on. She doesn't want to take a baby with stomach problems out for the day and as she is not employed to be your childminder that is fine.

Dutchesss · 20/07/2019 21:01

YABU, a baby wont know they are being 'left at home' it would be different for an older child who knew where they were going.
The difference between 11 months and 18 months is also quite big at this age, so it's likely they will be doing different things and a young baby adds a different dynamic.

That being said, we took our child to Legoland at 11 months old, and they absolutely loved it. There was a lot for them to do and see. We did need a buggy but took our own time and paced it round the baby's needs.

pretentiousrubberduck · 20/07/2019 21:01

If you didn't think it was a good idea then why did you agree to it? We went to legoland when my youngest was 3, and he was still too small to go on at least half of the rides. It wasn't worth it. It all seems to have worked out anyway; you don't think it was a good idea and mil now agrees. Why not ask her if she'd like to do something else with her on a different day instead?

Chewbecca · 20/07/2019 21:01

She’s changed her mind. That’s ok. Especially given she’s probably switched to the ‘right’ decision. Not worth getting het up about. At all.

caughtinanet · 20/07/2019 21:04

How old is your newborn?

You've had 2 children in 10 months and you're worrying about a trip to legoland, how have you got the time or the energy?

NoSauce · 20/07/2019 21:04

It sounds like she’s thought twice about it and add your DD having her operation MIL has decided to pull out. It’s ok, I think she’s allowed to make that decision, if she’s usually reliable and is a good grandma, like you say she is, I’d try and be a little less rigid in your outlook.

sqeakywheel · 20/07/2019 21:06

I've been thinking about the ' smelly baby ' comment is rather harsh. I also don't understand why she would want to go to LL with those other children.

purplecorkheart · 20/07/2019 21:10

Honestly I would not want to take her either. She will be two weeks post op, she may physically be fine but her immunity will be low. I would not be bringing her to somewhere that she could be exposed to multiple germs. We have no idea how often the baby friendly rides are cleaned, changing tables etc. Sorry but I think she is being sensible and maybe using the excuse of not wanting to be tied to the pram as an excuse rather than saying she thinks it is unwise to take a baby two weeks post op to lego land.

BenWillbondsPants · 20/07/2019 21:13

it was a pretty unsuitable suggestion to begin with.

So why agree that she could take her if you thought it was unsuitable?

She's clearly realised it was a silly idea so you should be pleased. I don't understand your issue at all.

TheRedBarrows · 20/07/2019 21:18

But so what if she has changed her mind?
Be glad!
I wouldn’t want my 11 mo dragged around Legoland in the heat all day, strapped in their buggy.

Original poster
MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 21:19

@sqeakywheel I don't understand either, but then I don't understand most of what she does. I think she just wants to socialise with her friends and probably doesn't realise how busy it's going to be. The smelly baby comment was quite hurtful, unfortunately again, that's what she's like.
@purplecorkheart yes you're probably right there. I would rather she was honest with me though, and I don't like that she feels she can't be.

OP posts:
Mayborn · 20/07/2019 21:22

OP you’re massively overthinking this. Don’t let it ruin what is a good relationship and a grandparent who obviously wants to spend time with your kids. Go and get some sleep woman Grin

Knackeredmommy · 20/07/2019 21:23

Agree with MIL, circumstances have changed, I'd be cautious taking my own child to a theme park at that age so soon after an op yet alone someone else's. She's a baby, I don't see the point of traipsing her around Legoland all day.

jarhead123 · 20/07/2019 21:25

She is way too young to gain anything from going so I wouldnt let it bother you

Rainycloudyday · 20/07/2019 21:25

OP you talk about your 10 month old as if she is much older than she is, with far more understanding. As a PP said, she doesn’t have friends-she’s a baby! She will have literally less than no idea that anyone has gone to Lego land, that she hasn’t, or that there was any question of her ever going. I feel like you’re projecting your own feelings on your blissfully oblivious BABY daughter.

And like other PPs, I’m struggling to see why you’re annoyed that your MiL changer her mind so that she now AGREES with your original point that this trip was a bad idea. Would you rather she persevered with a trip that you both now (very sensibly IMO) see as a terrible idea, purely so that she doesn’t offend you with the principle of her changing her mind? I’m sorry that baffles me!

I don’t mean to sound blunt or unkind, I have no idea how you’re even stringing a sentence together with two babies under one-good on you! But I would suggest kindly that you let this one go and just be thankful that MiL has shelved plans for what sounds like a miserable day out for all!

SoftSheen · 20/07/2019 21:25

An 11 month old won't be able to go on any rides or even know where she is, and will probably spend most of the day in her buggy getting hot and frustrated. Totally unsuitable trip for a baby (and even the two other toddlers TBH).

YABVU I'm afraid. At that age, a trip to the park to feed the ducks and go on a swing is plenty exciting enough.

twistyturnycurlywhirly · 20/07/2019 21:26

If you thought it was unreasonable in the first place, and MIL has now realised it, what's the issue? Do you want her to apologise? Are you looking to rub it in her face and say 'I told you so'? You don't sound like a reasonable person. Poor MIL.
Just get over it.

Seaweed42 · 20/07/2019 21:32

Do you think your MIL was using your daughter as an excuse to go on the day out with her friends, and then decided she could ditch your daughter and go anyway?
Maybe there is something going on where it suits your MIL to bring your daughter to things so she can hang out doing baby stuff with her friends who have young kids?
If so, I can see why you'd be annoyed because she might be kinda using your daughter...but at the same time that's fine because you have your hands full anyway! Congrats on the new baby, you may was well be very busy all at the one time for a couple of years and get it over with!

barnyb · 20/07/2019 21:32

I agree with MIL. Sounds like she's too young anyway to go to legoland??