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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL won't take my daughter to Legoland

252 replies

MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:01

Okay I'm really annoyed about this so would appreciate thoughts from others.

My MIL is quite a young grandmother and has two friends with young children, similar age to my daughter who is nearly 11 months old, so they socialise together at a baby group. That's fine with me, I do other things with my daughter and it's nice that she has a good social life.
A few weeks ago MIL told me they were planning to go to Legoland and was it okay for her to take my daughter? I also have a new baby son so I have no problem with my daughter being taken on a day out that we can't really do ourselves with the baby just yet.

Anyway, my daughter has had some ongoing stomach problems for the past few months which had been dismissed as "just one of those things" until recently. She has now had a small procedure to correct things earlier this week and came out of hospital today. She is recovering well and has been really good about the whole thing, so I feel she deserves this day out more than ever. However, talking to MIL this morning, she just drops it into the conversation that she won't be taking my daughter to Legoland now (in 2 weeks time) because she doesn't think it's a good idea after the operation, although she is still going with her two friends and their children who are aged 18 months and 2 years. My daughter's stomach problem caused her to suffer badly with wind and sometimes get diarrhoea, which I appreciate isn't pleasant to deal with, but the procedure she has just had is meant to stop this from happening again, although because she's just had an operation her stomach will take a bit of time to settle, but not anywhere near as bad as it has been, and my MIL has looked after her many times when she's had one of these episodes.

So her argument now is:
"The other two children are walking so she'll have to be in her pushchair to keep up and I don't want to drag a pushchair all round Legoland".
And
"It's not really fair on the other two children if I bring a windy, smelly baby along who can't go on any of the rides".
But it was her SUGGESTION to take my daughter to Legoland (and there's plenty of rides she can go on), and her condition is now BETTER than it was when she made that suggestion.

So AIBU or is my MIL being totally ridiculous?

OP posts:
Sparadrap · 20/07/2019 20:19

It sounds like a strange choice of trip for all of them. Unless the other parents have incredibly long 11 month old children, none of them will be going on the rides as they have to be over 0.9m tall.

As for the others not taking prams, are they really expecting their 11 month old children to walk around Legoland for the day? Mine would have struggled with that at 2.5 or 3. Actually mine weren’t even walking at 11 months old.

It sounds like your mum is being sensible and maybe wants to go on all the rides herself Grin

CheesecakeAddict · 20/07/2019 20:20

Yabu. 11 months old barely get anything out of soft play, let alone a giant theme park aged at people years older. It sounds like she got overexcited about a trip out with her friends, but didn't think about the practicalities. If you are that desperate for a day off (and who wouldn't be with two under 1 - you must be a zombie!) what about asking her to take her for a few hours to her house? Does she have a garden or a park nearby? Or could they visit the aquarium, zoo, farm etc. for a few hours?

Original poster
MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:20

@Reallynowdear she is 3 days post op today, the trip is in 2 weeks.
@Needcoffeecoffeecoffee I will be more than happy to take her when she's older and can appreciate it. I did make it clear that MIL suggested this and has now changed her mind, that's my issue.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 20/07/2019 20:20

Wasp land is no place for anyone under 5
To be honest I cant think of anyone that would want to go at any age. Wasps are feckers!!

Wildorchidz · 20/07/2019 20:21

It’s the op’s mother in law. Not her mother. Which might be relevant.

Reallynowdear · 20/07/2019 20:22

OP, I know as I've read your posts.

YABU

NoBaggyPants · 20/07/2019 20:22

MIL realised it wasn't the best idea, and she's right. What do you want from her, to grovel?

You sound very childish.

foreverhanging · 20/07/2019 20:22

Sorry op but an 11 month old wouldn't give a shit about legoland 😬

MirrorHope · 20/07/2019 20:22

'Wasp land is no place for anyone under 5'
Omg hilarious

Don't be silly - legoland for a baby seriously and one that's been ill - get over yourself

71wheretogo · 20/07/2019 20:22

The smelly comment was indeed nasty. MIL should have the decency to admit that her initial offer was misguided - an 11 month old at Legoland was a silly idea in the first place. Instead, she's making excuses.

Try not to be hurt and instead be thankful that your dd doesn't have to spend a day in a buggy waiting in queues in potentially hot sunshine, trying to avoid all the wasps who are attracted to all the dropped sweeties/melted ice cream in the queues!

notacooldad · 20/07/2019 20:22

I did make it clear that MIL suggested this and has now changed her mind, that's my issue
It's a non issue.
Shes had a rethink.
The place isnt suitable she said shes not taking her. End of story.
It's not even worth a MN thread!

Badabingbadabum · 20/07/2019 20:23

YABU. Your MIL realised that what she suggested was actually an awful idea. An 11 month old, at Legoland, with two other very young children. I would pay good money not to do that.

LegionOfDoom · 20/07/2019 20:23

I'm mainly just annoyed about MIL obviously just changing her mind, and yes the "smelly comment felt a bit nasty.
Thank you everyone

People are free to change their mind. She’s given you plenty of notice. She’s probably realised taking an 11 month old to Legoland is crazy, especially in the summers holidays. It won’t be enjoyable for your dd or your mil

Original poster
MissKatyKat · 20/07/2019 20:24

@BackforGood I have stated twice now that my issue is with her making the suggesion then back tracking on it, I'm not annoyed about MIL not taking her, I agree with everyone saying she is too young.

OP posts:
Tink1990 · 20/07/2019 20:24

I agree with MIL and really not sure why you would have thought it would have been a good idea to agree this in the first place Confused

Crunchymum · 20/07/2019 20:25

Do you have an 11 month old and a newborn OP?

sailorcherries · 20/07/2019 20:26

So 3 weeks after an operation you want your MIL to take your DD to a theme park that she won't get anything out of and won't enjoy?
Your DD will have no idea she is being 'left out' and your MIL is quite right to not want to take a child who is still fragile after an operation, and could possibly have some issues afterwards, to such a place.

gamerwidow · 20/07/2019 20:26

She probably got excited and carried away with the idea of taking her to Legoland and then has thought about the logistics and realised it’s silly.
A baby will not enjoy Legoland it’s crowded and boring unless you can go on the rides. We’ve took DD when she was about 2 and it was one of the worst days out we have ever had.

Reallynowdear · 20/07/2019 20:26

OP, have you never changed your mind about anything?

Why is this such a big deal?

Ravingstarfish · 20/07/2019 20:26

OP- I’m annoyed mil won’t take baby to legoland.
Mumsnet- why the fuck would a baby go to legoland?
OP- I agree but isn’t mil terrible.

Love threads like this Grin

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 20/07/2019 20:26

I'm not sure under 1 they're even allowed on the baby rides are they?

Anyway, you can take her when she's older and you'll have a great time.

Skittlesandbeer · 20/07/2019 20:26

No child of mine would be having days away with anyone in the couple of weeks post op. Not for ready money. Not if I was offered the Crown Jewels.

I’m the only one who’s been in contact with medical personnel, then I’m the one tracking the child’s End of.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 20/07/2019 20:27

A) your DD is a baby she won’t know she’s been “left out”
B) she’s too young for Lego land- she’ll get nothing out of it
C) it’s the summer holidays so it will be rammed therefore I think your MIL and her friends are crazy.

Mayvis · 20/07/2019 20:28

I'm sure your 11 month old will be more than content waiting in queues of over an hour to get on every ride even the 'baby' ones. And you can't take pushchairs into the queue lines either.

Lllot5 · 20/07/2019 20:28

But she didn’t make the suggestion to your dd did she? Your dd won’t know the difference