Text found on husbands phone

[roseyposeypuddingandpie]

Him: Can you do lunch next week?
Her: Yes I can do Monday.
Him: Just remember, you are brave and strong, life is a daily battle that you’re winning, Every day gets easier I'm telling you!!! You are beautiful kind, intelligent and hard working, nothing else matters
Oh and you have a good looking boss.
Xxx

What would you think?

Fucking hell. Absolutely no way would I would stay married to that. I would consider a divorce and a fresh start to be the absolute best thing I could do for my children and myself.

That's not a msg a boss sends to colleagues. Highly inappropriate.

Did you see any reply from the girl? If so, what was her reaction to the text?

What a horrible man. You caught him drooling over her, so he lashed out with venom and contempt.

Do you want your children to emulate this toxic relationship model?

Put it this way if that was your boss texting you no matter what the crisis was, would you feel ok and comfortable being called beautiful etc ?if the answers no then you know what you have to do yourself already .

Inappropriate.

Managers do not speak like that to staff, it’s deeply inappropriate and an abuse of authority on his part. My DH would never ever call a a report beautiful etc, he’s had chats about personal struggles, depression with female reports (at work, in his office) and I can’t imagine him being anything other than a professional/mentor and he genuinely cares how his staff are. This is just taking the piss. If he genuinely has a staff member struggling this looks creepy and exploitative. Not a man i would want.

He is speaking to you like shit, seriously like shit. You will end up having this conversation with him over and over again and he will grind down any self esteem you have left. Leave otherwise in 30years you will look back at the years wasted on this knob and wonder what you were thinking. Imagine how wonderful life would be if you weren’t wondering what he was doing all the time.

I'd think he's either cheating or trying to, and judging by the cockiness of the message I'd say he's done it before.

Leave him. That is NOT how a man treats his wife. He is a poor excuse for a man and you deserve so much better.

He doesn't always to you like this all the time because usually you toe the line, when you don't he has to put you back in your place.

I'm shocked more by his reaction to you. Like others have said it's completely inappropriate for him to be talking to a colleague ( or anyone ) like that. But the way he has spoken to you is degrading and unacceptable. Roles reversed I'm sure he would not be happy, surely this is going against rules of his/her workplace? My friend got sacked just for going on a few dates with a colleague as it's against policy..

Sounds like he's taking advantage of a vulnerable women , he's just pissed off because he's been caught .
I'm not sure I could ever trust someone like that

How old is he? How old are they? Not that it matters a bit, only he sounds really really fucking predatory, and women my age recognise this instantly but younger women may be taken in by this bollocks talk. He sounds disgusting, sorry for you OP, could you report him to his bosses? (not an over-reaction- I just fucking hate predatory men like him)

Melanie, is that you?

Melania...... even

Get yourself organized, finances in order, etc and leave - or better yet, get him to leave!

Harsh as it is to face, everyone is talking sense on here. He is gaslighting and has no respect for you at all, while being massively inappropriate as a boss, it’s quite predatory given the power balance/her assumed vulnerability.

Don’t let him minimize this.

You say he’s done this before? Write down a timeline - or start one - of these events. How does it look? What would you advise a friend in that situation?

I have been there, it took me ages to end it, but when I did it wasn’t nearly as awful as I imagined - and the relief I felt!

Enlist good family/friends if you can, makes all the difference and will help to curb any future CF behavior about the split if he knows other people are aware. He’s thriving on you doing nothing/no one else knowing. Do people generally think he’s a great guy/husband?

Kids will be far better off in the long run.

So sorry OP. It’s an awful situation to be in. But it’s not your fault and you will be so much better without him.

Few things

Gaslighting

He's predatory - a woman is having trouble so he'll swoop in and help her with advice ... oh and don't forget I'm good looking too, and your boss 🤮 .... putting ideas into her head, reminding her he's in charge - tell him to make sure they go somewhere he can hang up his "shining armour" and they allow you to bring your trusty white steed 🙄

He's caught out, hence you're to blame his plan may fail

Thinking that this OP won't be listening to any advice . OP , you are obviously aware he's a cheating, lying, manipulative abusive bastard... but you only want others to confirm and sympathise just now. You know the solution- ltb- but you don't want that solution or can't consider it.
Not much to be done here. OP I hope this is a stage in the dissolution of your relationship. You and your kids deserve better one day.x

This! ^^
Op wont do anything. She sounds desperate to be with him and he knows this.

Did you get a screenshot? Send to his mother.

Yuk, hugely inappropriate to mentioned ‘beautiful’ and fishing for compliments back by saying and you have a good looking boss.
Also he’s minimising by saying this is how he usually speaks to his staff. If true, his communication style needs a lot of work as it’s creepy AF.

Were there other texts between the two of them? Had she replied? If it's one text on its own that would make me worry about why he had been deleting the previous texts. It would make me think he was definitely trying to hide something.

There is no reason to keep this prick in your life. He will grind you down further and further.

He doesn't love you he has contempt for you. Tell him to leave.

Kick him out until he learns to respect you and your family. He’s a bully and about to cheat or trying very hard to. Wanker.

Sooner or later one of these women will bring a case against him for harassment, it's pervy and not at all appropriate but you know that. If he isn't having/had affaithen he's clearly open to the option. He talks to you like dirt and you say you love him but he doesn't love you. You're a convenience which he takes advantage of. You should be sensible, check finances, pack his stuff, and get the locks changed while he is out, you should send the kids to play somewhere else so they aren't around for the kick off. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for your children as kids shouldn't have to grow up thinking that this is a loving relationship that they try to recreate as adults.