Text found on husbands phone

[roseyposeypuddingandpie]

Him: Can you do lunch next week?
Her: Yes I can do Monday.
Him: Just remember, you are brave and strong, life is a daily battle that you’re winning, Every day gets easier I'm telling you!!! You are beautiful kind, intelligent and hard working, nothing else matters
Oh and you have a good looking boss.
Xxx

What would you think?

@shithappens123 I didn’t have children at the time and I wasn’t cheating. Don’t blame me for men cheating on their wives. No money isn’t everything. I am permanently in a wheelchair now I am sure you are pleased to hear. I guess that’s what dirty prozzies like me deserve hey?

She is being a shit parent putting money over teaching them to respect themselves in a relationship.

I think your DH is seeing prostitutes or something similar (like dogging) mentioned upthread (because of what you found in his car)

I also think he's trying it on with colleagues, flirting with women who work for him for a thrill, that's pretty grim, and if the colleague was up for it, it would probably be an affair by now.

His reaction to your suspicions and the name calling and gaslighting is awful behaviour. Your relationship sounds pretty toxic. I think you know you need to leave, and if you have DC it won't be a healthy environment to be growing up in (father calls mother a cunt etc.) but for whatever reason you aren't ready to go yet.

Some posters on here are getting really nasty out of frustration, it's not nice and not helpful. They are trying to spur you on, but you aren't ready yet.

Please start getting your ducks in a row, protect yourself, because one day you will finally have had enough of this behaviour.

I know people are trying to be helpful but it’s worth remembering that the o.p will already be feeling low about herself without comments like “he doesn’t like you”
The behaviour is totally unacceptable on his part and I do think you should get yourself in a position to leave but telling someone their husband doesn’t like them really doesn’t help in this situation. Op isn’t the issue her husband is.

@shithappens123 you clearly know very little about the sex industry. Let’s be fair here, women who end up selling themselves for sex usually do so because they feel that they are worth little else. No woman wakes up in the morning and thinks “oh I know, I think that I’ll start up a business as a prostitute because it’ll make meeee so much money.” There are very complex reasons why women end up in the industry and most of those have to do with exploitation, lack of self worth or both.

And no, a prostitute is not responsible for a man cheating on his wife. If someone chooses to pay for sex then they choose to do so of their own accord. If a woman has gone down the route of being paid for sex she probably believes that that is all she is worth, she is however not responsible for who chooses to pay for those services.

Where do you draw the line? If a couple who seem to clearly be having an affair check into a hotel should the hotelier turn them down because otherwise he is facilitating them cheating on their partners?

If someone sends a card to his lover saying how much he loves her and wishes them to be together when they have left their wife should the distributor refuse to create that card because he shouldn’t be facilitating someone cheating on their wife?

Perhaps you think that mobile phone providers should intercept texts before they’re sent because some of them will be between affair partners?

Ultimately the only person who can be someone’s mo guardian is that person themselves.

Others can choose not to facilitate someone’s cheating because they feel they are worth more, but if a woman is already selling herself for sex I think it’s fair to say that she likely already has self worth issues.

Read the Op's updates.
She knows it's over.
Good luck OP (and don't let your H know what you are up to)

Haven't rtft OP but that's not good, he's letting her know that he's interested, I would leave but that's up to you, I wish you love and strength d happiness xx

@IceIceCoffee
Thank you x

Parenting isn't career-dependent, @shithappens123, so @Maddiemademe's profession is irrelevant to her skills as a mother.

You, however, are a poisonous bigot who prefers blaming sex workers instead of the married men who are choosing to cheat on their wives.

@shithappens123 you are SO getting off on feeling superior to sex workers aren't you?! Why don't you really get your rocks off, hire one, & spend an hour reading all the fire & brimstone excerpts from the bible to her? Satisfaction guaranteed!!!

OP I’m so sorry, he’s an arsehole
The previous history of messages, the gaslighting and the fact you say he speaks to you like this all the time are clearly not signs of a happy and promising future (he sounds like an absolute twat tbh)
I’m truly sorry for everything and you’ve clearly invested a lot of time, love and energy into him (and your children) but I really do think you should start seeking advice on where you go from here, get out now before his abusive words and manipulation get further out of hand

You deserve better (and so do your kids)
Good luck 💐

I’m guessing that @shithappens123 is someone whose husband uses prostitutes but it’s easier to blame the women he is shagging than hold him responsible for his own behaviour. Best to report and ignore.

Well actually I wish we had a society which helped sex workers get out of that industry and offered housing and education. And other alternatives and I’m in no way saying the men aren’t to blame.

Just want to wish you all the best OP. You know what you need to do. He treats you badly. You deserve so much better.

Even if some sex workers earn 300 an hour they're still on a downward trajectory career wise, and allowing men to rank them according to their fuckability. As they age or become drug ravaged, the amount per hour drops in inverse proportion to their inability to get any other work.

@shitty
-you can’t absolve prostitutes role in wrecking relationships, they allow married men to have sex with them
How deluded are you, did your ex use prostitutes?
Nobody forced a man to pay for sex, it’s always HIS choice.

My husbands boss is really inappropriate she sends kisses as replies to stuff but does it with everyome i know as i work for her but hes her line manager he left her a note and a cup of tea once cos she was upset i really wasnt happy but actually of hes done it to a man i wouldnt have cared. If she saod that to him i would go mental.

The simple fact is that if men were willing to pay for sex, then the industry wouldnt exist.

Its easy to say well if women didnt sell it it wouldnt. But not many woman choose it.

All the men choose to pay for it

Dear god. A man who visits prostitutes is wrecking his own marriage.

shithappens what the fuck is wrong with you ?

You all seem to have unfoundedly decided that because we are wealthy I will stay with my DH. And that I'm with him for HIS money. In actual fact I have my own money and the businesses, house, everything is all half mine so this is complete rubbish, I hope this silences the drama seekers

OP I understand you are upset. But getting angry at people isnt helping you and I dont think you are reading peoples posts.

I dont think people said you are with him for his money, in the gold digger sense Simply, when you dont work and your children's lives will change forever, women often stay. It's actually understandable. It's really scary to end it.

The fact that you own half of the businesses is a reason to get out now. Because he could lose it all if any of the women come forward and accuse him of sexual harrasment.

Dont keep ownership. Sell it too him. Get yourself as far away from the businesses and his name as possible. Women with husbands who own business can end up not getting a fair deal in divorce, because the men know how to hide their money.

Get copies of everything you can and the messages and photos of his glove box. Anything you can to make it harder for him to dent anything later.

I hope you leave. He doesnt respect women. If any of your children are girls, he will destroy their self esteem. And if they are boys he will bring them up with attitudes like his.