Text found on husbands phone

[roseyposeypuddingandpie]

Him: Can you do lunch next week?
Her: Yes I can do Monday.
Him: Just remember, you are brave and strong, life is a daily battle that you’re winning, Every day gets easier I'm telling you!!! You are beautiful kind, intelligent and hard working, nothing else matters
Oh and you have a good looking boss.
Xxx

What would you think?

@MarthasGinYard Posted too soon!! Should have questions marks!

@HidingwhoIam I meant a spreadsheet at home (probably a printed copy actually) for use in emergencies but yes, if you’re not sending flirty/inappropriate texts then there’s nothing wrong with communicating with your employees outside of working hours, if they are happy to be contacted in that way. But that’s not the case here.

I still feel that the way he speaks to other women is highly inappropriate

I'd be more concerned concerned about the way he speaks to you tbh! Not once in the many years I've been married has my dh ever called he a cunt.. calling someone a cunt is much more than I appropriate

Get rid now!! Knob

None of it points to a good relationship. Texting other woman in that way but especially how he speaks to you, he has absolutely no respect for you.

What a creep. Why is he meeting her for lunch anyway? He's only acting like that because he got found out the rat.

Her reply indicated nothing is going on. The latex gloves and loo roll in the glove box indicate that something really is going on, just not with her. He is probably chancing his arm with her though.

From your posts I can't see 1 single reason why you are still with this man.

Having children together is not a reason to try to keep this relationship together. In fact, you'd be protecting them from his disgusting attitude if you threw him out today. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is how relationships are, how men speak to and treat women?

He sounds like a sleazy gross old man, and guaranteed if he's done this before as you say he will have that reputation at work amongst the women. Moron seems to have no clue he's a walking sexual harressment case.

OP, yo deserve better than to be spoken to like that.

I just sent him some of your replies.

He came in and told me that if I send one more message he's packing his bags and leaving.

Just tell him to leave. This is done..

Bloody hell. Send him another three.

Clarify your boundaries of what’s acceptable for you that he respects while interacting with the opposite gender.

What would you say your boundaries are? He doesn’t seem to have the social skills necessary to differentiate..

To me things like:

1- speak to her the way you would like your daughter be spoken to by an older guy.
2- speak to her like you would speak to a bloke.. would you be telling a bloke he is so beautiful to support his career?!
3- keep a respectable distance with new people so that you know what they’re comfortable with and to avoid misunderstandings.
4- no texting outside working hours unless necessary for work.. and about work.. especially when there is no friendship as it’s a new colleague and might get freaked out.
4- no flattering people’s beauty and features.. and not making the conversation about sexual appearances of yourself or hers... as this can be interpreted as suggestive...
5- no need to overly give attention on a 1-on-1 basis. Especially when he isn’t yet aware of what’s considered harassment and what’s not and could land himself in trouble at work.. always have it as a group or allocate someone to support the younger female colleagues so you don’t intimidate them... or make a fool of yourself.

That’s aside from the fact he is rather disrespectful to u. But I will focus on the original issue of the OP.

I do realise some of these boundaries are too rigid but I think since your husbands personality is bordering harassment and flirtatious you need to clarify what works for a personality like that.. doesn’t mean everyone is like this but see what works for you

I think some people don’t understand what “professional boundaries” at work really mean. And some men like to test their boundaries.

Let him go. What a loser.
You can do much better than this op.

Why are you sending him our responses.

He wont change.

He says I'm pathetic.

Well, he would, wouldn't he? [Mandy Rice Davies: 28 June ,1963]

You're not. And don't let yourself believe any different

His response to you shouts and scream "caught" and "guilt". If it was nothing he'd have made a joke about it or brushed it off.

If my boss referred to what I looked like, said he was good looking and ended with kisses I'd feel really uncomfortable. Even if you're friendly with male colleagues at work there are (even unwritten) boundaries you don't cross.

He came in and told me that if I send one more message he's packing his bags and leaving - call him on it. Send him more messages - I BET he goes nowhere.

And if he did - Win/Win for you.

Get rid.

I'd help him pack if I were you, it'll speed things up.

I’d send plenty more texts, he’s saying that because he’s confident you’ll stay in your place as dutiful wife.

Still him he doesn’t have to pack his bags as your already packing them for him. Please don’t stay with this man, he’s a creep and is probably well known for this behaviour at work. You deserve better x

Pack his shit for him.

Send him more messages and when he comes in to threaten to leave, tell him his stuff is ready.

It's the most efficient way of doing it.

Though, I think, you wont
Let's be honest OP this isnt the worst thing he has done, is it?

You keep putting up with his shit, you will put up with this too.

I’d send him a message that says:

“ I’m packing your bags for you”.

“Tell” not “still”