Text found on husbands phone

[roseyposeypuddingandpie]

Him: Can you do lunch next week?
Her: Yes I can do Monday.
Him: Just remember, you are brave and strong, life is a daily battle that you’re winning, Every day gets easier I'm telling you!!! You are beautiful kind, intelligent and hard working, nothing else matters
Oh and you have a good looking boss.
Xxx

What would you think?

If I had that setup and I had no way to make my own money I would be reluctant to charge out of there. Leaving a marriage is soooo difficult. Not many people want to do it, especially if your kids are happy - the upheaval can be worse than living in the marriage. I know mumsnetters won't agree with me but it's not just my view, it's lots of other peoples too

How do other users find other people's comments?

If OP is staying because she is worried about finances. She would be better going sooner rather than later.

Before he ends up getting used for sexual harrasment

@Thegirlintheflowerypyjamas you think its better to be wealthy and have your kids grown up in a house with sexually deviant father and who thinks their mother is a cunt?

Pleased leave him OP, I really feel I should say life is too short to spend it with someone who makes you feel like shit.

Leave him. He sounds horrible. Speaking to her like that, but talking to you like THAT!?!?

If OP is staying because she is worried about finances. She would be better going sooner rather than later. Before he ends up getting used for sexual harrasment

The old adage 'marry for money [or in this case, remain married] and you earn every penny' was never more appropriate than here.

Although to be fair.

Op doesnt give a shot about young women being sexually harassed. She already said she wouldnt do anything that ends in a tribunal.

Needs to protect her husbands wealth.

What's that compared to women being sexually harassed at work.

I can guarantee that a boss has never in my life mentioned their looks to me. It's creepy and busting boundaries. He's angry at you because he's been caught

Yep.
Life is too short.
The way you behave is teaching your children how to behave in relationships.
You deserve respect.

My ExH husband was like this, every time I caught him out cheating. I'm sorry OP but it sounds like he either is, or wants to have an affair with her. And he sounds like a massive mentally abusive cunt tbh! And the fact he called you childish etc is gaslighting 💐

It is the children I feel sorry for. You should be protecting them from this, money or no money. Also FYI as a retired sex worker, yes your husband sounds exactly like a user of escorts/prostitutes. I only accepted cash and charged £300 an hour. Many of my clients who like doing to meet up outdoors or in cars used to make sure they had toilet roll and also lubricant was a given.

I hope one day you wake up, realise money isn't everything and your children's emotional wellbeing is priceless. Be a mother and do your best for them.

Hey OP's creepy douche-bag husband. Stop being a creepy douche-bag. You probably think you're coming across all charming and down-to-earth but you're not. You just sound like any other dime-a-dozen creepy douche-bag boss. Stop being unprofessional and doing cagey skeezy things. Stop throwing tantrums and treating your wife like scum. The world does not revolve around you, your ego and your member. Grow the fuck up. And the next time you feel tempted to call any woman the c word, kindly punch yourself in the balls you poor excuse of a man. You really are just ew. No other way to describe you.

Why should you need to grow up and just trust him, if he is saying at the same time he is done with your relationship?! I wonder if at any point since being with you, if he had found a similar message on your phone, how he would of reacted to it?! I think if no kids, run for the hills. Let him crack on. I'm not saying if there are kids involved to stay and suffer it, but it does alter things quite a bit. What's your living arrangement? Do you rent/buying? Do you work

He says I'm an immature cnt*

And Doctor Musso diagnoses:
Your DH is projecting.
He is also a massive bellend. If he were innocent, he would have offered you empathy & an explanation.

I see from your later posts that he has form for this behaviour. He is outrageous to blame you for being upset about it. He is also a Grade A professional wanker for addressing colleagues in this manner.

How long have you been tolerating his disrespectful behaviour & abusive language? How much longer do you want to keep enduring it? Because he is NOT going to change. He clearly sees nothing wrong with his inappropriate texts & feels he should be allowed to do anything he wants to, & is entitled to name-call & victim blame if anyone pulls him up on it.

He also uses threats to end the marriage as a way of controlling you.
Do you feel up to calling his bluff? If yes - take pics of his texts, & see a solicitor - but do NOT let him know that you are sounding out the practicalities of what the sceanario would be if you divorced him.

I am so sorry you are being treated in this way.

Steady PP. don't say she won't leave otherwise you'll be accused of being the husband and told off by the OP.

There are so many red flags here.

1. He is being totally inappropriate at work. That sort of text from a man 30 years my senior would make me so uncomfortable.
2. His defensive response suggests he knows he is being inappropriate at best, and at worst that his intentions are to try and shag his employees.
3. His response also shows he has no respect for the mother of his children and is an abusive bastard.
4. The gloves toilet roll and cash? I’m sorry it definitely does sound like he’s been seeing some sort of sex worker.

Are you happy with him?

Oh my goodness, I haven't read the last messages but most of your replies are becoming completely poisonous.

You all seem to have unfoundedly decided that because we are wealthy I will stay with my DH. And that I'm with him for HIS money. In actual fact I have my own money and the businesses, house, everything is all half mine so this is complete rubbish, I hope this silences the drama seekers.

READ THE POST PROPERLY, this is what I wrote earlier:

*I just woke after going to bed in the early hours.

Thank you to all the constructive responses. It's a bitter pill to swallow but I know what I have to do.*

Thanks for the unfounded speculations and nasty assumptions about me, I am actually a person and a lot of you have been close to the mark. This is actually my life and I know you're all hiding behind keyboards but before you write person you should ask yourself 'Is this what I would say to a friend who was in this circumstance?' Otherwise you're being as nasty and bully-like as my vile DH.

I came on here to get some clarity since yes he is a gaslighting p*ick and I wanted to confirm what I know already. I am not protecting him but I really don't think he has actually cheated, although I'm sure it's something he's contemplated.

Thanks to those who have been supportive, I will be getting out of this marriage ASAP. I've wanted to for a while but this is the final straw.

I agree with everything you have all said about my DH. Horrible horrible man.

It sounds as though he is trying to help someone through a difficult time.

Sadly, that person is not his wife, who he calls a cunt, & pathetic.

How is calling a colleague beautiful & signing off with xxx's helpful?

This is someone's real life, people. All very well to say you'd walk out in these circumstances, but really? Just like that? Uproot your children's (and your own) comfortable lifestyle without trying to get to the absolute bottom of what may or may not be going on?

Yes, @OhDearGodLookAtThisMess - because it's now immaterial whether he is actually shagging his colleague, going dogging, or paying prostitutes to vist his car.
What's material is the way he speaks to his wife, his double standards (he can send any texts he likes to real people, but his wife isn't allowed to post on an internet forum ffs), & his gaslighting & emotional abuse.

What part of that needs "getting to the bottom of"? It's already at rock bottom. The OP is being treated with total contempt by her DH.

He's doing a good job of gaslighting you and making you feel the one who is out of line. It's him not you who is being unreasonable and inappropriate

Tell him to fuck off and you'll see him in court.

Sorry, but I'm just so pissed off hearing men treating their wives and gfs with so little respect and turning it on them