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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop pandering to neighbours parking requests..

238 replies

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 16:24

This might be a bit confusing but will try and make it as clear as possible. We are on a terraced street with street parking - no allotted spaces or anything - you get what is available at the time.

Neighbour (lets call her Anne lives next door but one) has a problem with our mutual neighbour (lets call her Clare) who has been doing up her house for a while, she has a particular problem with how Clare parks her car.

Anne thinks Clare parks too close behind her car (usually there is several feet between bumpers). Anne has taken to asking me and my partner when we have parked our cars to move up or down essentially trying to make us park in such a way that it prevents Clare parking infront of her own house.

We find this a bit weird and increasingly annoying as the last thing you want to do when you get in from work and park is then go and re-park. We also think Clare should be able to park in-front of her own house.

When we have pushed back and politely told Anne we are too busy/will move car later Anne has become arsey and accused us of 'making her ill' and repeatedly says the whole parking problem is giving her anxiety, shes on medication, her blood pressure is really high etc etc

Anne had a go at me last week about moving the car and complaining to me about my boyfriend having to be reminded weekly to park in the certain way she likes it - I was clearly about to leave in his car had baby in the back and was dashing in for something I'd forgotten when she caught me so I was quite short with her about already being late and still got an earful about her blood-pressure.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? Is pandering to her parking 'issue' ultimately making her anxiety worse? We don't want to be sucked into her one sided parking feud with Clare who is very normal and not arsed.

How do I say no next time?

OP posts:
Stayawayfromitsmouth · 19/07/2019 16:26

She sounds batshit. I'd be avoiding her or if not possible tell her where to go.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 19/07/2019 16:27

You need to be blunt and straight with her.

Anne - can you move your car please
You - no
Anne - the parking makes me ill
You - I suggest you move to a house with a driveway
Anne - I cant afford it
You - not my problem, bye

BurnedToast · 19/07/2019 16:28

Stop being such a doormat. Just say no you're not moving your car because its fine where it is.

I'd probably park in such a way just to annoy her. But that's me. Wink

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 16:29

This is an issue between Anne and Claire. Not your fucking problem.

Roussette · 19/07/2019 16:31

Good grief, NO! I would not be getting into this with a NDN but one. Not your problem, she sounds a real troublemaker. You park your car where you want and you dont move it and if Anne comes and asks you to move your car, just keep saying
"I'm NOT moving my car. Please STOP asking me because I will not do it"
Rinse and repeat

Sciurus83 · 19/07/2019 16:31

Say no to Anne, this is mad and shouldn't be given the time of day. She wants telling.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/07/2019 16:32

eugh why did you ever engage in the first place.
Sorry Anna Im far too busy to be getting involved anymore, Im going to park where I can that makes my life easiest. Dont let it get to you.
Bye.

Hairyheadphones · 19/07/2019 16:32

Why is she asking you to move? Why is she accusing you of making her ill when clearly the problem is between her and Clare? Tell her to talk to Clare and leave you out of it!

Expressedways · 19/07/2019 16:33

She sounds utterly crackers. Ignore and don’t indulge the crazy. So what if it takes a couple of manoeuvres to get out of a parking space?! Surely parking considerately on the street means parking close to other cars (within reason obviously) so that other people have space to park as well. Avoid her when you can, if she confronts you say you’re in a rush and can’t chat. And definitely don’t move your cars to prevent your neighbours from parking, or to reduce the number of available spaces on the streets, that’s a really unfair thing to do.

Sc0neCreamJam75 · 19/07/2019 16:35

If it is a public road, she has no right to tell anyone how to park
Just ignore, ignore

LoudBatPerson · 19/07/2019 16:35

So essentially, Anne is expecting you to help her deliberately prevent Claire from parking outside her own house, for no discernible reason?

A couple of foot between bumpers means plenty of room to get out (and I say that as someone who only passed their test a month ago!)

Wow, poor Claire. Next time Anne complains to you ask her to imagine how this neighbourhood parking ganging up on Claire is making Claire feel!

UrsulaPandress · 19/07/2019 16:36

Why on earth are you enabling this batshit behaviour? We had a neighbour like this who used to move his car to make it difficult for me to park. I became expert at getting my car into the smallest of spaces. He eventually had a heart attack.

Just say no.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 19/07/2019 16:38

Anne is batshit and you never should have got involved in her BS parking games. Poor Claire.

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 16:39

Fair enough.

Anne is wildly annoying in many ways but we have always felt a bit sorry for her - shes been trying to sell her house for 3 years but 'cant find a place suitable for her cats' (around here houses sell within 3 mins of hitting righmove so its 100% her fault her buyers keep giving up)

I think we just feel guilty as she is clearly not quite 'well' and seems lonely and will pin you to the street for conversation when you bump into her but shes just so annoying!

OP posts:
GrapefruitIsGross · 19/07/2019 16:40

I’m confused as to why you got involved with this batshittery in the first place?

She’s using you as a flying monkey to bully someone she has a problem with. You need to pop your backbone back in and tell her to fuck off.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 19/07/2019 16:42

Anne needs to get a grip, and I say this as someone who has on-street parking and a neighbour who thinks anyone who parks within six feet of her car is “too close”. These people need to either develop some spatial awareness or move to somewhere with a private drive.

Dec2019mumtobe · 19/07/2019 16:45

When Annie says this is "making me ill" and "increasing my anxiety" just reply with "now you know how I feel! It's not nice to be hounded most evenings by somebody trying to dictate how I park my car. If you have a problem with Claire and her parking, please take it up with her and leave me out of it."

Yellowweatherwarning · 19/07/2019 16:46

Suggest she sells her car and gets a bus pass if she is so anxious and takes medication... She doesn't sound safe enough to be on the roads...

Anonmummyoftwo · 19/07/2019 16:46

Next time she knocks dont answer. If she keeps asking just be blunt and say the cars parked it wont be moved again untill i have to go out. Tell her outright that you will not be moving the car for her from now on and if she says its making her ill offer to ring an ambulance if its that serious

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 16:48

when we have tried to say no/ we are busy / not right now or even me saying I was in a rush to leave in the offending car Anne will just go on guilting us so it was just the easiest thing to do to get rid of her.

It started with the requests to just roll back or forward a few feet and we didn't actually realise she was trying to position us to block out clare at the beginning. Shes become more overt since we started trying to say no.

She does this with other neighbours too for various other issues so its not just blocking clare she seems obsessed with being the parking warden for the bloody street

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 19/07/2019 16:48

Anne sounds batshit. I certainly wouldn't get involved in her parking dispute with Clare.

Bambamber · 19/07/2019 16:49

You have more patience than me. I would have told her to fuck off by now

Loveislandaddict · 19/07/2019 16:49

Don’t get drawn into the Anne v Clare car parking games. It’s not your battle.

Ps. Where is the diagram?

SlothMama · 19/07/2019 16:51

I'd say no and walk away ignoring her moaning, she should move away to a house with a drive if she wants easy parking.

mycatisblack · 19/07/2019 16:52

Tell her you’re not re-parking your car and to hurry up and sell her house, if it’s causing her palpitations.
I feel sorry for Claire who is a nice neighbour and is being treated badly by both you and Anne.