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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop pandering to neighbours parking requests..

238 replies

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 16:24

This might be a bit confusing but will try and make it as clear as possible. We are on a terraced street with street parking - no allotted spaces or anything - you get what is available at the time.

Neighbour (lets call her Anne lives next door but one) has a problem with our mutual neighbour (lets call her Clare) who has been doing up her house for a while, she has a particular problem with how Clare parks her car.

Anne thinks Clare parks too close behind her car (usually there is several feet between bumpers). Anne has taken to asking me and my partner when we have parked our cars to move up or down essentially trying to make us park in such a way that it prevents Clare parking infront of her own house.

We find this a bit weird and increasingly annoying as the last thing you want to do when you get in from work and park is then go and re-park. We also think Clare should be able to park in-front of her own house.

When we have pushed back and politely told Anne we are too busy/will move car later Anne has become arsey and accused us of 'making her ill' and repeatedly says the whole parking problem is giving her anxiety, shes on medication, her blood pressure is really high etc etc

Anne had a go at me last week about moving the car and complaining to me about my boyfriend having to be reminded weekly to park in the certain way she likes it - I was clearly about to leave in his car had baby in the back and was dashing in for something I'd forgotten when she caught me so I was quite short with her about already being late and still got an earful about her blood-pressure.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? Is pandering to her parking 'issue' ultimately making her anxiety worse? We don't want to be sucked into her one sided parking feud with Clare who is very normal and not arsed.

How do I say no next time?

OP posts:
Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 19/07/2019 18:13

Suggest she has some advance driving lessons if she can't get out of a not tight parking spot.

fedup21 · 19/07/2019 18:17

Man up and say no, FFS.

Notcopingwellhere · 19/07/2019 18:18

Getting into ridiculous disputes with neighbours is a common symptom of dementia. My grandmother was convinced that he lovely neighbour was breaking into her garage to steal her ladder. Anne is clearly mentally fragile but it’s not your problem and you wrist pissing off Claire in the meantime.

homeishere · 19/07/2019 18:21

Had mad. Just be rude to her

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 19/07/2019 18:24

God, I have a neighbour who's obsessed with parking. The first time he came round to complain my car was "parked too close" to his, I politely told him it was fine and I wasns't moving. Second time I was not polite. He hasn't bothered me since.

Boysey45 · 19/07/2019 18:25

I'm with well and truly above, just say I think you should get some advanced driving lessons, lots of people do this now. Also say you are too busy for any more moving the car etc as you are doing the tea.
If she starts knocking on the door or ringing just block her and ignore her.Shes not well mentally.

NoisyNeighbour · 19/07/2019 18:27

Anne will just go on guilting us

Delete guilting - Insert controlling.

lunar1 · 19/07/2019 18:29

Ignore her, you have nothing to feel guilty for!

pigsDOfly · 19/07/2019 18:29

You don't need to be rude to her and tell her to 'fuck off' as pps have suggested. You just need to be firm and tell her you're not moving your car. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

She sounds as if she has some sort of mental health issues, and it's probably not helping the situation for you to pander to her and collude with her against your other neighbour.

Cymbalon · 19/07/2019 18:33

OMG I could have written your post only with a guy obsessed with me not wanting me to park too near him in case he needed to jump start his battery. He got to the point of knocking on my door every day to ask for me to move. When I refused to engage he tried to push my door open to carry on the conversation. At this point I called non emergency police who took a statement and issued him with a harassment notice. Police said I was perfectly legally parked and no way should I be dealing with this nonsense.

So my advice. Next time she knocks on door or collars you tell her you are parked legally and will not be moving it to suit her in future. Tell her you will not discuss this with her again. If she carries on tell her you’ll call the police as she harassing you . If she keeps on going then call them.

iolaus · 19/07/2019 18:34

Park in front of Clare's house - really close to Ann's car (way closer than Clare does)

Clare can park in front of your house for once, Ann will get annoyed and stop asking you to be the bitch

I've only once asked a neighbour to move as they were parked too close - and that was because a) I was on call that night so if he hadn't moved I potentially would have been banging on his door at 3am and b) it was about 5mm away from the car - even reversing back the small distance I had behind me wouldn't have enabled me to get out

Cymbalon · 19/07/2019 18:36

I also felt a bit bad calling police as the guy definitely has issues. Police said that’s as maybe but it didn’t make it ok for him to keep on at me because he has issues,

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 19/07/2019 18:36

Bloody hell, lucky Anne to have such a life that a teeny weeny parking non-issue makes her ill. Some perople have real problems to deal with.

Agree with the others, OP - tell her no, you're not moving the car, and she's being U. You can't change how she reacts to things.

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 18:36

So when I got back tonight I parked outside our house in the spot Clare had just vacated.

I got as far as getting in the door and into the living room before she was knocking at the door asking us to move.

Partner was straight out to answer the door repeatedly saying no. Anne refused to move, kept saying we were really mean. Partner shuts door in her face eventually and she starts shouting through the letter box and crying.
He goes back and has to shout at her to get off our property.

She's now posted a note through our door..

OP posts:
DonkeyHohtay · 19/07/2019 18:40

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

She's been getting away with this for far too long.

Dare you to post a rightmove link to her house...

recrudescence · 19/07/2019 18:41

Give Anne something real to fret about. Torch Anne’s car.

AHobbyaweek · 19/07/2019 18:42

What did the note say? Also ignore!

Mydogmylife · 19/07/2019 18:43

Curiosity killing me - what did the note say! Seriously she obviously has issues, and you are now reaping the result of ' it seemed easier ' when this first started. Not sure what you can do other than stand firm with NO. Does she have any family/ close friends who could talk to her?

LL83 · 19/07/2019 18:45

You are doing the right thing. It will be hard for a few days but easier in the long run.

StoneofDestiny · 19/07/2019 18:45

She is unhinged - don’t join her party

Smelborp · 19/07/2019 18:46

You’re just going to keep having to be ultra firm with her. If she keeps it up, she’s moving into harassment territory. Might be worth keeping a log just in case.

KitKat1985 · 19/07/2019 18:47

Good on you for standing up to her. She's basically trying to emotionally blackmail everyone on the street into getting the parking space she wants.

Also I need to know what the note says.

QuickThinkOfAName · 19/07/2019 18:48

Well done. Keep firm.

She's batshit and used to getting her own way.

She's been using you to bully your neighbour. Just don't answer the door to her.

Maybe have a word with sane neighbour. Stick together.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/07/2019 18:52

If she keeps it up, she’s moving into harassment territory. Might be worth keeping a log just in case

It might also be worth keeping an eye on the car. My ex's late grandma went on a similar crusade and it ended with her trying to prise number plates off the "offending" vehicles

FrancisCrawford · 19/07/2019 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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