To stop pandering to neighbours parking requests..

[Panda368]

This might be a bit confusing but will try and make it as clear as possible. We are on a terraced street with street parking - no allotted spaces or anything - you get what is available at the time.

Neighbour (lets call her Anne lives next door but one) has a problem with our mutual neighbour (lets call her Clare) who has been doing up her house for a while, she has a particular problem with how Clare parks her car.

Anne thinks Clare parks too close behind her car (usually there is several feet between bumpers). Anne has taken to asking me and my partner when we have parked our cars to move up or down essentially trying to make us park in such a way that it prevents Clare parking infront of her own house.

We find this a bit weird and increasingly annoying as the last thing you want to do when you get in from work and park is then go and re-park. We also think Clare should be able to park in-front of her own house.

When we have pushed back and politely told Anne we are too busy/will move car later Anne has become arsey and accused us of 'making her ill' and repeatedly says the whole parking problem is giving her anxiety, shes on medication, her blood pressure is really high etc etc

Anne had a go at me last week about moving the car and complaining to me about my boyfriend having to be reminded weekly to park in the certain way she likes it - I was clearly about to leave in his car had baby in the back and was dashing in for something I'd forgotten when she caught me so I was quite short with her about already being late and still got an earful about her blood-pressure.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? Is pandering to her parking 'issue' ultimately making her anxiety worse? We don't want to be sucked into her one sided parking feud with Clare who is very normal and not arsed.

How do I say no next time?

I agree with Poppi89. Those who waste space with parking and/or have multiple cars they don’t have room for always piss me off too.

It's the public highway - OP can park as many cars as she likes. Unless you have a driveway there is no divine right to park in front of, or even near, your own house.

She is being unreasonable but unfortunately people are like this wherever you go. Similar things happen in our street. Family of 4 with double drive and 5 cars, (most people in street don't have a drive) don't use their drive unless they absolutely have to, double park, block spaces, move cars around like it is chess... because they presumably are unable to walk a few yards making it difficult for everyone else. Yes you are right her anxiety is being made worse about parking and you are right about not wanting to be a part of it. My advice try and have as little to do with her as possible she is trying to use you as part of her battle. And unfortunately it causes an amazing amount of stress for everyone involved.

I would say that you don't want to get involved in their parking issue and will keep to parking how you do. I live on a terraced street and I wouldn't be getting involved in parking issues

Yes absolutely you can park wherever you like if it's a public highway but I think there's an unwritten rule that you try and park outside of your own home so it's easier to carry shopping/kids in etc but if that's not possible because people have multiple cars then it would really annoy me

Also OP admitted she had left too smaller space for claire so had to pull her car forward so maybe this is a regular occurrence that she's not aware of and Anne nagging has actually brought it to her attention.

Ha ha poppi there really is no unwritten rule and sadly it’s thinking like this that make so many parking disputes.
If you want to park where you want get a house with a driveway

I think your neighbor and mine must be related. He’s a right cockwomble.

Ha ha poppi there really is no unwritten rule and sadly it’s thinking like this that make so many parking disputes.

Inconsiderate parkers cause parking disputes.

Interested in what Claire’s thoughts are as previous poster said Claire possibly thinks you’re parking badly and just don’t entertain Anne possibly set off her focus toward Claire re builders vans perhaps either way all cars parked are taxed and can park as long as safely and considerately of others where they can to access their home - have to confess to feeling annoyed myself on several occasions recently moved to new house on veryskinny road our drive is a skinny straight in and out affair with wall either side meaning very minimal swing re getting out neighbours and their mates have shown form for Parking partially across our drive which means it’s a nightmare to get on and off the drive andoften the mates park there late at night banging rap music out and emptying their ash trays out on the kerb as a result we’ve gone a bit “Anne” And starting Parking on the road outside our house to enable us to use the car without being trapped plus not get disturned by the late night music thumping. on the rare occasions someone other than the neighbours parks there it’s often not an issue getting on and off the drive as they’ve parked sensibly or i just park up the road if I’m nipping out again to get DC that said few weeks ago got home from the school run neighbour car hung over my drive builders van lining the road nowhere to park took me 15 mins trying to get on my drive and yes I was using some pretty choice words especially as I had taken prep meds in advance of a colonoscopy that evening and I was ahem let’s say on the verge of disgracing self ..so unless anne has situation she really doesn’t need to get so Worked Up!

*same situation !

I had a neighbour living opposite who was like this. She would walk from room to room crying of anyone parked on her front. She even went as far as to get the building plans and tried to involve the council and parish council. She would ring me and ask if I'd seen who had parked and left thier car on her front.

Inconsiderate parkers cause parking disputes
As do people who think there is an unwritten rule to park outside their own house

Oh dear , Anne obviously has a problem but it’s not your problem OP. Parking is obviously an issue in your street and people park wherever there is a space, it goes with the territory I’m afraid where there are terraced houses. Anne’s lucky she can park outside her own house . My sister lives in a terraced house and it’s very rare they are able to park outside their house. People can get very territorial about parking spaces.

Can I ask what has Clare doing up her house got to do with the parking issue?
Is it because she has to carry items from her car or has she at some point had a skip outside , or have builders been parking outside her house?

You say Anne has now put a note through the door telling you you’re rude , if that is what she thinks then let her think that.
She is the only one making herself ill , not you. Anne is trying to be controlling. If she try’s to speak to you again, about the parking, just tell her you’re not prepared to discuss it with her and her note said more than enough.

With the experience I have had to bear for donkey's years I can tell you that once you give in to someone living next door they will dominate you in so many things until you think the house doesn't belong to you at all. If you do not give in, it could be worse. You have to weigh up what you would rather live with. I did not give in to my neighbour demanding that we - my late husband and I - should replace the glass in one window with frosted because they thought we were looking at them. Foolish because we would have had to lean right out of the window (it opened so frosted glass would not work anyway) and hold each other's legs and even then it is difficult to look right down. He said he would plant leylandii trees as high as the house to cover the window if we did not. That is exactly what he did. Here is the result:

I would be cutting those trees back to the boundary and checking my foundations

@iheartroycropper Oh dear you must be one of those inconsiderate people with multiple cars taking over the whole street.

It's just natural decency that most people have to allow people to park outside their own homes. I have a driveway but both my neighbours next door do not. One is elderly and the other has twin toddlers. If I have another car I would park over my driveway outside my house or somewhere else, yes I have every right to get numerous cars and park them outside my neighbours homes but I wouldn't because I'm not a twat.

@llizzie there is high hedge legislation which could help here:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/high-hedges-complaining-to-the-council/high-hedges-complaining-to-the-council

Get your cats chipped if they aren’t already.

I agree to get your cats chipped just in case.

Anne needs to move to one of those roads with bungalows and driveways for her own sake as well as everyone else's

llizzie
That’s awful, surely something can be done about the height of the trees .
Neighbours can be so petty . We have a hedge that runs down the side of our house and garden . A neighbour of ours complained to the parish council that our hedge was too wide , at one end and too high. Height of our hedge is only as high as our fence . Width caused a problem because neighbours kids had to walk in the road because someone had parked there car on the pavement. I was asked by the parish council to reduce the height to which I said no as the height was the same as the fence and it was not causing any light issues to anyone but I did agree to narrow the hedge at one side . Turns out the neighbour wants us to take the hedge out and move our fence to match his but due to height difference of our garden we would have to put in for planning permission to have a 8ft fence because the garden is higher than the pavement side by 2ft .
Your neighbour seems a very inconsiderate being.

@Poppi89 fair point I agree. Though as far as I'm concerned we do try to park with consideration for others and honestly if someone was asking I'd be the first to worry I was at fault but we really aren't.

I've been forced to park miles up the street many times as has my partner- we genuinely aren't fussy but when there are clear spaces outside or near our own house we will both park there - this is the same with clare.

When I admitted my parking was a bit off on Friday it was because I was being over careful and misjudged it - there was still space enough behind my car to fairly comfortably fit another car in it was just a bit more snug than the space I'd left in front which made it look smaller.
Yes we have 2 cars - our lives wouldn't be possible otherwise as we both work. We dont leave big gaps.

Clare has come back from her weekend away bearing in mind we only moved my car forward about 3 feet there is easily 3 feet between her car and mine and probably about 6 between her car and Anne's - Anne will still hate this.

I'm sick of being pestered when we have been considerate and left normal amounts of space when parking. I'm also sick of having to park like a ninja in an awkward space just to avoid hassle.

@Imawomanontheedge clares building work comes into it because that's where Anne's initial animosity towards her came in.

Anne objected to the noise that clare made doing up her house - which has always been during daytime hours. Shes had to gut the house and put in heating which is impossible without a little noise and it's never bothered us but anne would regularly go knock and ask her to stop or make less noise, clare eventually said no. So anne hates everything she does now.

@Panda368 I'm sure you are being considerate but I wanted you to see it from another POV just in case you weren't aware. I have heard of so many people who don't have drives and their whole lives revolve around parking and inconsiderate neighbours then it turns into bigger arguments. Like a PP showed with her garden one inconsiderate neighbour can make your life a misery. But as long as there is enough space for claire and Anne to park then I wouldn't pander to her as you're doing nothing wrong and she may have done it to every neighbour before you too. I would probably talk to Claire more about it though to see her POV.