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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop pandering to neighbours parking requests..

238 replies

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 16:24

This might be a bit confusing but will try and make it as clear as possible. We are on a terraced street with street parking - no allotted spaces or anything - you get what is available at the time.

Neighbour (lets call her Anne lives next door but one) has a problem with our mutual neighbour (lets call her Clare) who has been doing up her house for a while, she has a particular problem with how Clare parks her car.

Anne thinks Clare parks too close behind her car (usually there is several feet between bumpers). Anne has taken to asking me and my partner when we have parked our cars to move up or down essentially trying to make us park in such a way that it prevents Clare parking infront of her own house.

We find this a bit weird and increasingly annoying as the last thing you want to do when you get in from work and park is then go and re-park. We also think Clare should be able to park in-front of her own house.

When we have pushed back and politely told Anne we are too busy/will move car later Anne has become arsey and accused us of 'making her ill' and repeatedly says the whole parking problem is giving her anxiety, shes on medication, her blood pressure is really high etc etc

Anne had a go at me last week about moving the car and complaining to me about my boyfriend having to be reminded weekly to park in the certain way she likes it - I was clearly about to leave in his car had baby in the back and was dashing in for something I'd forgotten when she caught me so I was quite short with her about already being late and still got an earful about her blood-pressure.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? Is pandering to her parking 'issue' ultimately making her anxiety worse? We don't want to be sucked into her one sided parking feud with Clare who is very normal and not arsed.

How do I say no next time?

OP posts:
Panda368 · 19/07/2019 17:23

Clare really doesn't give a shit about it and, like us, will park where there is space on the street if there isn't room.

Currently there is a huge free space behind Annes car which has been empty all week, Clare is parked opposite our house and I've been squeezing into a teeny space between her and my partner.

No one has even tried to take the big space behind Anne to avoid the hassle.

Im going to take the spot when I get back later and get it done with.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/07/2019 17:25

I'd play her at her own game, tell her her requests are making you ill it's so stressful and you cry at thr thought of Claire not being able to park in front of her own home, ask her to not ask you again as it's really taken its toll on you. If she says she's ill, say me too, me too. Please let's never discuss it again, I can't cope, and run into thr house,

Howlovely · 19/07/2019 17:25

Anne needs a hobby.

namechangeninjaevervigilant · 19/07/2019 17:27

She is clearly bat shit. I wouldn’t answer the door to her.

ThePurpleHeffalump · 19/07/2019 17:28

Are you and your partner this wimpy in other areas of your lives? If I was Claire, I’d be pissed off at all of you.

Roussette · 19/07/2019 17:30

No one has even tried to take the big space behind Anne to avoid the hassle

I'm sorry but this is ridiculous. Are you telling me all your neighbours are kow-towing to this irritating woman? Why?

Where is it written in your house Deeds that Ms Anne Twatface is in charge of parking in your street?

Why do people let this sort of thing escalate and now there is a space behind her car but everyone's too scared to park in it.

newmomof1 · 19/07/2019 17:30

She's a bit bizarre.

Just start parking bumper to bumper with her car like she accuses Claire of doing

littlemeitslyn · 19/07/2019 17:30

Why is it a 'fucking' problem?

RushianDisney · 19/07/2019 17:33

Why do people get so ridiculously territorial over parking spaces? It's crazy! I used to live on a very narrow terraced street and parking was a nightmare, there thankfully weren't any crazies like Anne around and we all just got on with it and parked where we could.

I think playing her at her own game as suggested earlier is a great idea, claim her requests are pushing you towards a nervous breakdown so you will no longer be engaging with her.

FartingInTheFence · 19/07/2019 17:36

I'd tell her to fuck right off. And also follow it up by saying if she has an issue with "Clare's" parking, to take it up with her, not you.

End by telling her to fuck off again for good measure.

:)

RHTawneyonabus · 19/07/2019 17:37

Is it that she basically can’t drive or parallel park? Had this with an older lady the other day on a single lane road I was 3/4 of the way along she was 1/4, she wouldn’t reverse but by the time I’d decided I would just do it there were about five cars behind me. As it turned out she literally couldn’t do it, took ages of faffing before her daughter had to swap into the drivers seat and do it for her.

Flipping unreasonable being on the road if you can’t do basic parts of driving if you ask me.

pullingmyhairout100 · 19/07/2019 17:41

I think Anne needs to come and live in our street. That would really tip her over the edge, cars are parked so close to each other not even a sheet of paper can separate them, we live in a cul de sac of 30 plus house with drives for at least 2 cars and still they park on the roads to prevent anyone parking outside their house. Now dont get me started on the vans that are also parked opposite to each other so you have to drive at 1mph to get through. OMG i think i need to speak to Anne, i think i need the same pills shes on.

I'd just let her get on with ranting, or i'd tell Clare what Anne has been saying then run in the house and watch the fight unfold. :-)

Chocolatehat · 19/07/2019 17:41

Every time she asks you to move your car tell her that you are over the limit.

Aworldofmyown · 19/07/2019 17:42

Just politely remind her there are no parking restrictions and close the door.
If she's persistent then "I'm not discussing it further, goodbye" then close the door.

Chloemol · 19/07/2019 17:43

I would just say no, and when she says it’s her health etc just advise her to see the doctor and walk on. Is she says Claire parks to close, refer her to Clare and walk on, ( or say there’s enough room to get out its nots Claire’s fault you can’t drive!). If she goes on tell her everyone has the right to park on the road and if she doesn’t like it refer to the council and walk on. If possible just don’t engage

BobLemon · 19/07/2019 17:48

I think i would have responded to Anne just as you have, OP! Totally get it.

Eep. I hope you’ve got your big girl pants on today!

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/07/2019 17:49

"Anne needs a hobby."
Ann has a hobby. "being the parking warden for the bloody street" and a total pain in the arse.

PancakeAndKeith · 19/07/2019 17:50

Every time she asks you to move your car tell her that you are over the limit

Go idea. Every time you answer the door have a bottle of wine in your hand.

DoulaDaisy · 19/07/2019 17:54

YABU by not posting a diagram...

Sc0neCreamJam75 · 19/07/2019 17:56

Does this neighbour speak to the males in the same way who live on this street ?

Garageflower172 · 19/07/2019 17:57

People get so upset about this...honestly, I've seen people make themselves ill over it. Truth is, it's a public right of way - anyone can park there and nobody has the right to park outside their house. Feel sorry for Anne, as she's clearly locked in to some self-destructive thought loop about it - she needs to take a deep breath, stop trying to make others do what she wants, and focus her energy on changing the way that she reacts to a situation that she has no control over. Of course, suggesting that she chills out about the whole thing is going to make her worse, but by doing what she wants, you're only going to get involved in her drama and ultimately make it worse. Good luck!

bluefruits · 19/07/2019 17:57

"No, Anne. Good day"

Member869894 · 19/07/2019 18:03

Do you really hav to ask this question???

Sc0neCreamJam75 · 19/07/2019 18:05

I'd be tempted to borrow a friend's monster truck or noisy tank & park it outside her house or an enormous camper bus

imsuchagrump · 19/07/2019 18:05

I agree stop pandering to her .
If it was do you mind moving up a bit so I can get out then you wouldn't mind but she sounds obsessed.
My NDN is a bit batshit she asked my dh to not park outside our house as they struggle to get out of their drive . Dh agreed to keep the peace and parks further up but has said that if no other space will park there . I've said dh is too accommodating and funny thing is if we don't park there others will . NDN used to frequently watch the street parking but has calmed down recently .
This is clearly escalating and the woman has issues that she needs to address. Just park considerately but ignore this woman's mad requests .

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