To stop pandering to neighbours parking requests..

[Panda368]

This might be a bit confusing but will try and make it as clear as possible. We are on a terraced street with street parking - no allotted spaces or anything - you get what is available at the time.

Neighbour (lets call her Anne lives next door but one) has a problem with our mutual neighbour (lets call her Clare) who has been doing up her house for a while, she has a particular problem with how Clare parks her car.

Anne thinks Clare parks too close behind her car (usually there is several feet between bumpers). Anne has taken to asking me and my partner when we have parked our cars to move up or down essentially trying to make us park in such a way that it prevents Clare parking infront of her own house.

We find this a bit weird and increasingly annoying as the last thing you want to do when you get in from work and park is then go and re-park. We also think Clare should be able to park in-front of her own house.

When we have pushed back and politely told Anne we are too busy/will move car later Anne has become arsey and accused us of 'making her ill' and repeatedly says the whole parking problem is giving her anxiety, shes on medication, her blood pressure is really high etc etc

Anne had a go at me last week about moving the car and complaining to me about my boyfriend having to be reminded weekly to park in the certain way she likes it - I was clearly about to leave in his car had baby in the back and was dashing in for something I'd forgotten when she caught me so I was quite short with her about already being late and still got an earful about her blood-pressure.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? Is pandering to her parking 'issue' ultimately making her anxiety worse? We don't want to be sucked into her one sided parking feud with Clare who is very normal and not arsed.

How do I say no next time?

I HATE PARKING NAZIS !!!

I was Claire in this scenario a few months ago and it was awful. I had a young child, shopping, am a personal trainer so always carrying weights in and out of the care.. single parent.... the neighbours hated the fact that I moved in and there was an extra car on the street again (my house had been empty a while before i moved in) they took it upon themselves to leave huge gap in between their cars eg. 3-4ft gaps so that I could never park outside my house and in fact made it difficult for me to park on the entire street at all. I was coming and going all day - school run, clients, shopping, clients, school run, and the once my DD was in bed I got constant angry knocks on the door asking me to move my car. Once time was 3 hours of neighbours coming round - when I said no to her, she sent her husband. When I said no to him, they both came back. Estate agents assured me that previous tenants have always parked there and that no one has any right to park anywhere it's just first come first served and it's a narrow street but we all just have to get good at parking etc... which having lived in London and been constantly parallel parking on busy street, I was. And I knew I had left more than enough room for the car behind me to get out. But I got constant grief. Caused me considerable anxiety and stress and made me feel unsafe and jumpy in my own home. I tried to stand my ground but eventually ended up parking further down the street to avoid being shouted at in street (this is a very middle class town where people are supposedly "nice" as well...parking clearly really gets people all entitled and nasty)
But then I got told by the people whose house I was then parking outside (they had 2 space near but 1 car) that if I parked there I was "going to get it". I called the police and reported all this. PCSO told them off. Ignored them, left my car there overnight and they would constantly pour dirty dish water and cups of tea over my car and I would come to it in the morning with tea bags smeared all over it !
HORRIBLE OLD WHITE BRITISH PEOPLE. There I said it.

I moved house eventually to a lovely street and they're still stuck having to park on that shitty narrow street.

Unfortunately this is potentially one occation where she might have had a small point bf has just been upstairs to look at the situation and come down saying "actually panda you have left quite a small gap for clare there, we'll have to wait until it gets dark and roll you forward a few feet..."

I've left space but it's not even on both sides, I was just so excited to park outside my own house and not need to squeeze myself into the tiniest spot going.
🙈 I'm such a twat ffs

If I were you I would be keeping a record of all conversations and keep the note. Our batshit ndn once took a hammer to our fence and nearly whacked dc. We had to get the police to calm her down. Your neighbour sounds in a similar league... Have you got cctv incase she damages your car?

Personally as she says it's best not to speak again, I would adhere to that.

Totally with all the people saying don't engage / tell her no.

Suggest if her parking causes health issues then maybe the council need to provide her with her own special markings. Got a feeling the council will just reiterate how there's no real reason for such markings. It'll keep her motivated till they say no sorry. Maybe then it'll click!

Living in urban areas this is part of the deal, parking outside your house isn't guaranteed, both of you next to Anne owe her nothing.

Should you ever say to her, there's 4ft in front of you, could you pull forward a bit to let me park? She would find an excuse.

Experience being at an event on midsummers eve, where we needed a car to just move a bit forward so we could get in, we were told no. That's life!

See all that carry on with Penelope and wanting a shared garden to herself because the OP being in the garden was making her ill

Need to see this thread link please!

I don't get this. I can get out of a space with 6inches either end. It takes time but what's the problem?

She sounds absolutely bonkers.

I used to have a woman come and knock the door and ask me to move my car if I had parked in front of her house (very busy main road, no residents parking, literally park as close as you can) all the time, so she could “get the baby in easier”. I did a few times...until I discovered that her “baby” was a NT high schooler. I refused after that. She reported my car abandoned 5 times thereafter. Did it all the time, the police told me, to the point she was ultimately cautioned for wasting police time and harassing people. Bonkers.

Keep an eye on your car in case she damages it. She sounds batshit enough to do so!

When we moved into our house we only had one car. Ndn had 4 cars and parked 3 of them in public car park. Other one was kept on roadway. Car park had 8 spaces and was supposed to serve 8 houses, ours being one. We parked in the car park one day when there were no spaces on the roadway and ndn arrived at my door telling me to move my f*ing car! When I refused he continued with his abuse until I shut the door. 3 days later I went out and my car, parked on roadway, had a deep dent on the bonnet. We obviously called police, but there was no proof so he got away with it. It was definitely him as the dent was deep and round and was only about an inch wide. Ndn had a metal tipped walking stick (had it with him when he had came to my door) and we never saw it again after our car was damaged. Think he was scared that police might check it and prove he had carried out the damage. Ended up with a steep bill to replace car bonnet. He also threatened another neighbour when she parked in “his” space. Her car was keyed the following week, but again there was no proof who had done it!!

Op would you like to borrow a clapped out old tractor to park in the big spot that she has decided needs to be left empty?
Worked a treat to sort out my parking woes with neighbour when I still lived in a city.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? *

Stop pandering.

Anyone who tries to guilt me into doing anything, soon learns that it will not work. Simples.

God, if she finds it so hard to get out of normal spaces then she's not a good enough driver to be on the road.

Tell her you're bloody delighted not to speak to her again. (And then park very close to her forever more).

I think it's a win with that note then so if she's never going to speak to you again then . So next time she knocks on say I thought we were not to speak again and shut door in mad woman's face she'll get the hint . I'd also speak to Clare and tell her .

Ayemama please can I borrow your tractor??

Shes now turned this round to be us that are parking badly

Well yes, she will - you're the ones giving her the oxygen of attention right now, so you're the ones in the firing line

Why not just disengage? After all she's already said it's best if you don't speak at all ...

What @tomatostottie said is spot on. I vote keep your distance too. Unless you’re prepared to do exactly what she tells you at all times, you’re not going to win here.

@Roussette

Here's the link to Penelope

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3624212-I-cant-do-laundry-when-youre-in-your-garden

Tell Anne she’s sending my blood pressure up with this shit, and I’m only reading about her.

I'm going to dragons den with @cider4caro's "designated parking bag" WITH DIAGRAM (obv) that you lay on the road outside your crib to show everybody and his/her/xe/its lobster how to park properly!

We can have MN neighbour disputes about whose parking bag has the correct diagram - parking threads forever!! Well done Caro.

Thx tomato !

Next time she brings it up you need to say

“ Anne, with all due respect this is an issue between you and Claire so I would appreciate if from here on you left me out of it.” Bye!

Anne will just go on guilting us

She can only do this if you allow it! Refuse to even respond when she starts, that'll really annoy her, people like this want to get a rise from you.

Tell her you all pay road tax therefore park where you want. Any further harassment from her will result in a fallout and a complaint to The Police.

Reading these sort of threads reminds me of Brian Blessed in Blackadder.

"Should I be honest or tactful?"
"Erm tactful"
"TELL HIM TO GET STUFFED"

I'm going to be honest and say I also fume about parking on my terraced road.

I have parked a reasonable distance from the car in front and back to allow others a chance to park. So many others don't care and leave huge gaps. What do I get for my troubles? Idiots with stupidly big cars who squeeze themselves in and out scratching my car! More than once as well.

Now I leave bigger gaps if I can to try and stop it.

Also when I have not been able to drive for quite a few weeks, I make sure to park my car outside my own house, so I give people the opportunity to get a chance to park in front of theirs if they need to. Do other people do that? No, because they are too damned selfish. Just like the families with 4 cars that can't be bothered to park some of them on the side street or further up the road.

So yes I have been known to go out and move my one little car if the spot in front of my house becomes available. What's wrong with that?

And yes I have a life and go to work.