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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not give this child a lift?

804 replies

ByeByeBike · 19/07/2019 09:40

My DC do a sporting activity in the next town over on a Sunday morning. One of my ds' classmates wanted to go along too but his mum doesn't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been ferrying him to and from the sports club.

This Sunday is the last week of it before the summer break and they have their big club presentation/awards ceremony which all the kids really look forward to.

However, this week we're driving there and then heading straight off from there on our holiday. I explained to the DC's mum that we wouldn't be able to give a lift this week as we're not driving back to hometown after the awards.

Apparently her ds is heartbroken he can't come to the final day and will miss the awards ceremony. She is begging us to please give him a lift there and then either drop him back home (would be a 40 minute detour for us) or drop him at his grans house (would add 20 minutes onto our journey).

I know that if we go for his grans house then it's only a tiny delay towards our holiday but I just really had it set in my mind that we would just head straight from the activity to our holiday, we have quite a long car journey to get there and could do without our DC being cooped up in the car for any extra time.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/07/2019 10:15

I would suck it up and drop to Grans .For the sake of 20 mins to the journey not worth stressing over TBH.You will feel that you have done your good deed and made a young lad happy!

Same here.

I know she could get him a taxi, whatever, but I'll bet that one of the things that would make the day great for him is being able to talk abut it with your DS on the way there and back.

I couldn't bring myself to disappoint child in this situation.

However, I'd mention to his mother that in future she needs to have a contingency plan for when you can't give a lift.

Girlundercover · 19/07/2019 10:15

YANBU

I wouldn’t take him. Wouldn’t be surprised if you got a message when you are there that Granny had to go out and you end up bringing him home anyway.

rosesandcashmere · 19/07/2019 10:16

I assume his gran can drive or how will he get back? Can his gran not collect him? I do feel a bit sorry for him and think perhaps she needs to make some other friends at the club to help her out.

Whoseagooddoggiethen · 19/07/2019 10:17

On principal I would not bring him. The mother is a CF and needs to sort her own childs stuff out. 6 months of free rides she has been getting ffs. I would cut the ties right now being honest. Hate cheeky fucks like her.

NoSauce · 19/07/2019 10:17

If the gran can drive surely she could sort the lift out for once?

Gruzinkerbell1 · 19/07/2019 10:17

CF Alert.

Taxi. She’s saved 6 months of travel costs. One taxi journey is getting off pretty lightly.

Ponoka7 · 19/07/2019 10:18

The kind thing to do would be to drop him at his Nan's.

I wouldn't consider 20 minutes such a big deal.

But if she could afford the taxi to his Nan's, then that should be her first choice, seeming as she's had the favour from ypu all term.

FunnyHappyGirl · 19/07/2019 10:18

As others have said, what's going to happen when he gets to his Gran's? Can Gran meet you at the awards and go home with him?

This shouldn't be your problem OP. If her son really wants to go to the awards ceremony she needs to figure it out. And as per PPs, I can't believe she cares so little that she doesn't want to see the award ceremony herself. Poor kid.

And then she needs to learn to drive! If you live somewhere with such poor public transport I couldn't imagine not being able to. It must be so limiting!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/07/2019 10:19

I did suggest a taxi, but because it's Sunday so taxis are double fare

Another one here surprised at this, though I appreciate areas differ. Do you know it's so, or is it just something she's come out with to "persuade" you?

Anyway I agree with so many others; given what you've saved her for 6 months she can put that towards a taxi

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 10:20

But the main operator who have several cars charged £33 metered charge Sunday 6pm 4.7 miles.

£14.80 here. On Christmas Day! In a city!

Thesearmsofmine · 19/07/2019 10:21

YANBU but I would probably drop him at his grams so he could do the last week.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 10:21

I couldn't bring myself to disappoint child in this situation.

That's what she is counting on.

It wouldn't be OP letting the child down, it would be his mother.

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 10:22

Op, why is no-one going with the kid to his award ceremony? That’s sad. Ask her that.

Coffeeonthesofa · 19/07/2019 10:23

Double fare taxis on a Sunday? I have family members who work for a taxi firm which operates nationally in the UK, this is not a thing.
Yes fares increase at night and in bank holidays, Christmas etc they add a huge extra up front cost but they do not charge double on Sundays.
Agree with PP’s however she is planning to get him home from his grans, get her to do that instead. Gran picks him up if she drives and gets to see him at the ceremony, gran asks a favour from her friend or neighbour to help pick him up. Mum actually finds out how much a taxi costs and pays it, considers herself lucky for all the free rides he has had. Mum explores public transport, walks, takes taxi part of the way to any existing public transport. Checks out public transport to and from grans may be a better service. Asks another parent who is going?
Whatever you do I think you need to say to mum that you have done 6 months now it’s time she made other arrangements.

We took my sons friend to an activity weekly for more than a year because mum didn’t drive and had a new baby. But mum was an actual friend offered petrol money, we refused, but she offered, returned the favour in other ways and when her parents, who had a car came to visit her they would take both the boys to the activity. If there was an occasion that we were not able to take her son she accepted this without question and if she wasn’t able to make other arrangements her son had to miss out.

MrsExpo · 19/07/2019 10:23

Seriously OP ... for the sake of 20 minutes, you can't help out just this once? YABU.

BertrandRussell · 19/07/2019 10:23

“Op, why is no-one going with the kid to his award ceremony? That’s sad. Ask her that”

Because they can’t get there.

Blondebakingmumma · 19/07/2019 10:25

I think she’s being cheeky. She needs to either fork out for a taxi or start making friends with the mums of the other kids going so she can ask for a lift from them

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 10:25

Gran can get there, if she can get him home.

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 10:27

Unless she’s planning on leaving him at grans until she saves up for a taxi Confused

BertrandRussell · 19/07/2019 10:27

Presumably he’s going to stay over at his grans?

It’s 20 minutes to make a child happy. Do it.

ThePhoenixRises · 19/07/2019 10:28

What a horrible situation for you and the child. I would take but I would still say, you need to make other arrangements to get him home, then I would not be continuing the lifts when new term starts.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 10:28

have family members who work for a taxi firm which operates nationally in the UK,

What taxi firm works nationally? How do they licence their cars?

dustarr73 · 19/07/2019 10:28

Its 20 minutes.Let the child stay overnight with his Gran and then walk to the ceremony.He can then walk back to his Grans.

InsertFunnyUsername · 19/07/2019 10:28

This is a shit situation because it will be the child missing out. She is unfair to put this on you and should sort out her own way somehow. Its not a nice way of showing thanks for all you've done so far.

I say that as someone who dont drive. But i live in a city centre where buses/tubes come every 5 minutes so i rarely get lifts, i can get places quite easily.

BarbariansMum · 19/07/2019 10:29

I wish people would give over with the "it's only 20 min". If its 20min on top of a drive that's already going to be several hours long and isn't starting til lunchtime then it's significant.

CFuckery only flourishes because so many people are spineless but dress it up as kindness.