Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 32 33

Original poster

Aibu to not give this child a lift?

804 replies

ByeByeBike · 19/07/2019 09:40

My DC do a sporting activity in the next town over on a Sunday morning. One of my ds' classmates wanted to go along too but his mum doesn't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been ferrying him to and from the sports club.

This Sunday is the last week of it before the summer break and they have their big club presentation/awards ceremony which all the kids really look forward to.

However, this week we're driving there and then heading straight off from there on our holiday. I explained to the DC's mum that we wouldn't be able to give a lift this week as we're not driving back to hometown after the awards.

Apparently her ds is heartbroken he can't come to the final day and will miss the awards ceremony. She is begging us to please give him a lift there and then either drop him back home (would be a 40 minute detour for us) or drop him at his grans house (would add 20 minutes onto our journey).

I know that if we go for his grans house then it's only a tiny delay towards our holiday but I just really had it set in my mind that we would just head straight from the activity to our holiday, we have quite a long car journey to get there and could do without our DC being cooped up in the car for any extra time.

OP posts:

Penguincity · 19/07/2019 10:05

It's not your problem. She's not paid for 6 months so double fare for one journey shouldn't be a problem for her

KarmaStar · 19/07/2019 10:06

I think she is being a c.f. But for the sake of the dc I would take him back to his nan's.
Poor child doesn't deserve to miss out.and it will be a lovely thing to do.

Chloemol · 19/07/2019 10:06

IMagine if someone did this to your child who had worked all summer towards a ceremony and them bern told he wasn’t able to go. For the sake of a 20 minute detour to his grans I think you are being mean

BarbariansMum · 19/07/2019 10:06

Somehow I feel sure that, if you hold firm, she'll find a way of keeping her little boy happy. Dont fall for the guilt trip OP .

ZillaPilla · 19/07/2019 10:07

Wow, how rude! She should be getting you a massive bouquet of flowers to thank you for all the lifts you've given her child.

Since her child does this hobby I assume there is some expense and so I image she is not on the cheeks of her arse trying to make ends meet (in which case I might have been a bit more understanding for the sake of the child).

Be firm and if she keeps making you feel guilty then speak up !

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 10:07

God, all the “it’s not his fault” posts. Of course it’s not, but it’s his Mum who’s “not being kind” to him, not pulling her finger out and sorting it herself. Begging the person who’s already helped you out for the past 6 months is so distasteful.
How does she usually get about? Surely she doesn’t never go further than the end of the street because she can’t drive?

Work12 · 19/07/2019 10:08

Why would she not want to see her son on his special day anyway?! Lazy arsed mum. I'm sorry but my mum was a single parent that couldn't drive and she would take us on numerous bus journeys to get us to friends parties etc! It's not your responsibility and if the son's upset then that's her fault not yours! Cheeky arse

TinselTimes · 19/07/2019 10:08

For 20 minutes I’d do it. Seems a bit mean not to tbh.

HateIsNotGood · 19/07/2019 10:09

for the sake of the dc I would do the gran detour.

Tonightstheteriyakichicken · 19/07/2019 10:10

I think you should take him on holiday with you, that way you don't have to run him home after the ceremony.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 19/07/2019 10:10

I'd do it.
And that would be a last time I provide Cheeky Fucker Transport for that cheeky biddy.

averythinline · 19/07/2019 10:11

if its only 20mins why cant his nan come and get him??? is there no-one in their family taht can drive
I woudl push back a number of times but would proabbly do it ....cos of the DC but would be pissed off.. and not inclined to do the lifts next year....

JacquesHammer · 19/07/2019 10:11

I don't know.

If you agreed to take him for the duration of the season, then that does include the last session in which case for the sake of 20 minutes I would.

If it was a more casual arrangement I would arrange to take him to the event and she needs to find a different way to get him home.

CaMePlaitPas · 19/07/2019 10:11

I would probably do it tbh, take him to his Gran's. Then I'd say I can't provide lifts for the new school year.

BarbariansMum · 19/07/2019 10:11

It doesn't even make sense. She can get him from his nan's house, so why can't she get him to his nan's house and get a bus/taxi/walk/ combination of the above from there?

Why is it the OPs job ?

teddypasty · 19/07/2019 10:11

Not ignorance, just knowledge. What's your licensing authority? £8 a mile is more than ours charges on Christmas Day
I know it's fucking outrageous. There are a couple of local one man bands (licensed) who will negotiate a fixed fare. But the main operator who have several cars charged £33 metered charge Sunday 6pm 4.7 miles. The council approve the outrageous increases every year. Don't want to be too outing, so won't give more detail than Cornwall.

MulticolourMophead · 19/07/2019 10:11

You may have been giving him a lift previously, but if you're going away, will you have the room in the car?

And in any case, it's time the mother sorted something out. Has she ever offered fuel money, or even thanked you for the lifts you've given her son?

20 minutes to the gran's house may not seem much, but depending on where you are going can mean the difference between an easy trip or being stuck in busy traffic.

dottiedodah · 19/07/2019 10:12

I would suck it up and drop to Grans .For the sake of 20 mins to the journey not worth stressing over TBH.You will feel that you have done your good deed and made a young lad happy!.

Travis1 · 19/07/2019 10:12

But how is she getting him from Grans? Surely if she can make that arrangement then she can arrange to get him to/from the event?

YANBU OP and I know in mine and DH case when we're packed for a driving holiday there is no chance of extra bodies fitting in our car!

divegirl77 · 19/07/2019 10:13

I would make her squirm a bit more to really make my point then probably drop at Gran's - exactly how is he going to magic from Gran's back to home btw?

ElliT · 19/07/2019 10:13

Is there enough space for her to ride along with you and then make her own way home ?
Have not read the comments so I dont know if this has been suggested already

CloudRusting · 19/07/2019 10:14

How did this start? Did you proactively offer to take the other boy when he expressed an interest in the sport? Or were you approached by the mother? Because Whilst YANBU either way I think that makes a bit of a difference as to how I would react in your shoes.

BertrandRussell · 19/07/2019 10:14

Ah yes. The old Mumsnet trope where giving someone a lift to a place you are already going is a “massive favour”

It’s 20 minutes, OP. Do it.

thecatsthecats · 19/07/2019 10:15

This. Fart around being kind all you like, but the bottom line is, this mum could be kind to her own child and actually sort out his arrangements for ONE session in six months!

AppleKatie · 19/07/2019 10:15

If I really thought the CF mum wouldn’t sort it I would do the gran detour because I would feel obligated to the child at this point.

I would tell her that no lifts are available next academic year though because you don’t want to be relied upon and risk upsetting the boy when you can do it.

I would prob then block her number tbh.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 32 33