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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not give this child a lift?

804 replies

ByeByeBike · 19/07/2019 09:40

My DC do a sporting activity in the next town over on a Sunday morning. One of my ds' classmates wanted to go along too but his mum doesn't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been ferrying him to and from the sports club.

This Sunday is the last week of it before the summer break and they have their big club presentation/awards ceremony which all the kids really look forward to.

However, this week we're driving there and then heading straight off from there on our holiday. I explained to the DC's mum that we wouldn't be able to give a lift this week as we're not driving back to hometown after the awards.

Apparently her ds is heartbroken he can't come to the final day and will miss the awards ceremony. She is begging us to please give him a lift there and then either drop him back home (would be a 40 minute detour for us) or drop him at his grans house (would add 20 minutes onto our journey).

I know that if we go for his grans house then it's only a tiny delay towards our holiday but I just really had it set in my mind that we would just head straight from the activity to our holiday, we have quite a long car journey to get there and could do without our DC being cooped up in the car for any extra time.

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 19/07/2019 09:53

You've already been doing it for 6 months! She should really understand it's a massive favour, but she instead behaves like you owe her.

TeenTimesTwo · 19/07/2019 09:53

But … how will he get home from Gran's house?

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 09:54

She sounds like an ineffectual leech. Her problem to sort.

Karigan195 · 19/07/2019 09:54

It’s not unreasonable but it’s not kind

Pipandmum · 19/07/2019 09:54

I’d drop the kid at his grand, but how does the child get home from there? If the farm can drive why can’t she pick him up from the venue? Anyway I’d just drop him at the grans, 20min is nothing. It’s not the child’s fault his parent can’t drive. Hope she gets you a bunch of flowers as a thank you for your taxi service though.

BigfanofCheese · 19/07/2019 09:54

Could she not ask any other parents to bring him home or his GPs come and watch the ceremony and collect him if they're only 20 mins away?

I would prob drop the lad at his GPs if it came to it as it isn't his fault but after 6 months of lifts it seems churlish of her not to make other arrangements this once.

If you're certain you want to get straight off, make clear you will drop him there but can't bring him back after and leave it to her make the arrangements. You've done your bit.

KatharinaRosalie · 19/07/2019 09:54

because it's Sunday so taxis are double fare

not your problem and has she been paying you petrol for the past 6 months? If not, she could use the money she has saved.

Samcro · 19/07/2019 09:55

just say no.

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 09:55

it’s not kind. Confused

purplecorkheart · 19/07/2019 09:56

I was going to suggest that you drop him and she makes alternative arrangement to go home. However will you have space in the car with all the holiday gear? Does his Granny drive?

PonderingPanda · 19/07/2019 09:58

Really difficult situation. YANBU to not drop him back off anywhere but I'd feel so bad for the child.

As asked upthread, how will he get back from the Grans house?

Letthemysterybe · 19/07/2019 09:59

I think she is being a bit full on to ‘beg you’ to drive him, but at the same time you agreed to drive him to the club, knowing that she couldn’t drive and that it would
be a commitment for the duration of the club, so I think it is a bit mean if you don’t take him to the final session.

AuntyMarysBigRedPants · 19/07/2019 10:00

I'd say no to this. She is making it your problem. Very rude of her to ask when you have already said you have plans

Bootsuit · 19/07/2019 10:01

You're not been unreasonable to feel put upon and the mum should be making a effort to go for her son's sake but I would drop him at his Nan's.

It's not his fault his mum can't afford the taxi / can't be bothered.

Twenty minutes out of your life could make that little boy so happy. I know it should be down to his mum to sort it but I would be the better person and take him.

teddypasty · 19/07/2019 10:01

Double fair Sunday taxis and non existent bus service? Where on earth do you live?
Lol there really is a lot of ignorance about rural living in Mumsnet sometimes. £8 a mile on a Sunday afternoon in a taxi here. Most buses have a mon-fri timetable and a Saturday one and that's it

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/07/2019 10:02

Taxi's are double the fare...oh well she should think of all the money shes saved having you ferry her child!

newmomof1 · 19/07/2019 10:02

YANBU.
Who cares if the taxi fair is double? That's her problem.
She's been using you as a free taxi for months.
How would he get home from his Nan's? Surely he can get home from the activity in the same way,

Noubliette · 19/07/2019 10:02

Hear me Mumsnet! This is the kind of non-driver who ruins it for the rest of us independent, make-my-own-way non-CFs...

NoSauce · 19/07/2019 10:03

You’ve been extremely kind taking him for 6 months OP. I would be put out too being asked to take him on Sunday but for the sake of the boy I would do it but drop him at his GM.

How is he going to get home from there though?

teddypasty · 19/07/2019 10:03

But … how will he get home from Gran's house?

Mum is going to leave him there until op is on her way back from holiday then get her to drop him home Grin

YouJustDoYou · 19/07/2019 10:03

No. She can book him a taxi, seeing as she's been getting free taxi fares out of you for half a year.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 10:03

Lol there really is a lot of ignorance about rural living in Mumsnet sometimes. £8 a mile on a Sunday afternoon in a taxi here.

Not ignorance, just knowledge. What's your licensing authority? £8 a mile is more than ours charges on Christmas Day Shock

Chamomileteaplease · 19/07/2019 10:04

It's not really the 20 minutes it's the bloody cheek of the woman! Is she at all appreciative? I can't believe so that she would actually ask you to bring him home again!!

Has she no other family or friends who could take the poor boy as a one off and watch him get his award? Poor kid.

PleaseGoogleIt · 19/07/2019 10:04

Are you sure taxis are double fare on a Sunday? This hasn't been the case for years in anywhere I know.

PleaseGoogleIt · 19/07/2019 10:05

(And I don't live in London)