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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not give this child a lift?

804 replies

ByeByeBike · 19/07/2019 09:40

My DC do a sporting activity in the next town over on a Sunday morning. One of my ds' classmates wanted to go along too but his mum doesn't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been ferrying him to and from the sports club.

This Sunday is the last week of it before the summer break and they have their big club presentation/awards ceremony which all the kids really look forward to.

However, this week we're driving there and then heading straight off from there on our holiday. I explained to the DC's mum that we wouldn't be able to give a lift this week as we're not driving back to hometown after the awards.

Apparently her ds is heartbroken he can't come to the final day and will miss the awards ceremony. She is begging us to please give him a lift there and then either drop him back home (would be a 40 minute detour for us) or drop him at his grans house (would add 20 minutes onto our journey).

I know that if we go for his grans house then it's only a tiny delay towards our holiday but I just really had it set in my mind that we would just head straight from the activity to our holiday, we have quite a long car journey to get there and could do without our DC being cooped up in the car for any extra time.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 21/07/2019 14:20

Glad he was able to go OP.
Hope you enjoy your holiday Smile

Snowfalling · 21/07/2019 14:24

Your update has cheered me up greatly! I'm so happy for the little boy.

Have a lovely holiday op.

Badcat666 · 21/07/2019 14:28

aww bless, enjoy your holiday OP! xxx

GabsAlot · 21/07/2019 14:42

Good news still sad they dont bother at all with him

have a good holiday

Justaboy · 21/07/2019 14:44

We will continue to give lifts next year, and do it happily

Take a bow ByeByeBike! I just wish the world had more kind hearted people around like you, now do have a nice time away from here and relax and enjoy yourself:)

Chunkers · 21/07/2019 14:45

Hurray, a happy ending!

MrsMiggins37 · 21/07/2019 14:50

Glad the kid got to go, even if it was only because his CF mother cadged off someone else rather than making any effort to get off her own arse. Have a great holiday.

Jogonandshutup · 21/07/2019 14:57

Tell her to get stuffed - you’ve done too much already!

Taichipandas · 21/07/2019 15:26

Glad it's all resolved happily op and you are v kind to continue giving lifts next term. Owing to this experience, at least the child's family know what to do now if you aren't able to do it one time in the future for any reason.

And to those saying it's no trouble taking another child to a regular fixture if you are going anyway, I agree no huge effort is involved if you don't have to go out of your way to collect said child and drop them back, ie they live next door, if the child doesn't become ill or injured under your supervision (which happened to me once) and if the two DC get on ok and you don't have to start policing their behaviour and if your own child doesn't get ill, or you are unavoidably late or some such at the last minute. And even without those hassles, it's still a serious undertaking being responsible for someone else's child.

UrsulaPandress · 21/07/2019 15:34

I love a happy ending.

ContactLight · 21/07/2019 16:02

All's well that ends well - have a fab holiday Smile

HeadintheiClouds · 21/07/2019 16:32

You sound really nice, op, glad everything worked out in the end. Happy hols 😀

Aridane · 21/07/2019 16:32

Thank you, OP, for being SO MUCH MORE REASONABLE than the majority of posters on this thread!

SagAloojah · 21/07/2019 16:35

@Aridane OP did exactly what the majority of posters suggested she do (and what she always wanted to do from the off) - which is to let the mum sort out the activity drop-off and pick-up due the circumstances. You must be reading a different thread. Most people also thought continuing to take the boy to the activity post-Sep was a nice thing to do.

Badcat666 · 21/07/2019 17:00

@Aridane

What?? What ARE you talking about?

The OP DIDN'T take the child, another person did but she was lovely enough to film the event for the boys mum.

As @SagAloojah said, the OP did what the "majority" of posters suggested; the OP went without taking the child and the majority of us thought the OP taking the child for the next sessions as a lovely thing to do.

Motoko · 21/07/2019 20:30

Have a lovely holiday!

Aridane · 22/07/2019 07:21

What I am talked mg about is the UTTER VEHEMENCE of the posters on this thread compared with the mild ess of the OP who remains happy to continue to give lifts, in contrast with other posters who regard woman as CF devil incarnate. It's not just about end result but mindset, tone and personality.

MsTSwift · 22/07/2019 07:34

The kids mother is an ungrateful taker though. I would be ashamed to be relying so much on the kindness of strangers and never reciprocating. If I had to I would be bloody grateful and would give a small gift and a proper thank you to the op at the end of term

MrsLinManuelMiranda · 22/07/2019 10:56

Badcat666 If you look at the original AIBU poll, you will see that only 21% thought the OP was being unreasonable. Hardly the majority, but anyhoo!!!!!

Teaandcake1000 · 22/07/2019 11:58

I would take the child to his nan’s.
You’ve made the commitment all year and now for the award day you don’t want to follow through.

If this is the last of the season then just don’t do it next season but this poor kid, it’s not his fault.

Don’t be w*nker

FrancisCrawford · 22/07/2019 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dustarr73 · 22/07/2019 12:04

@Teaandcake1000 Its 30 pages in and i bet you have not rtft.

Badcat666 · 22/07/2019 12:23

@MrsLinManuelMiranda

What are you going on about?

I was replying to Aridane and agreeing with SagAloojah that the OP ended up doing what the "majority" of posters suggested to do [in their posts] that she should not take the child and go on her hols.

It was nothing to do with the poll

but anyhoo...If you can't be arsed to read a post properly.....

Contraceptionismyfriend · 22/07/2019 13:33

@Teaandcake1000 not being a wanker would include reading the OPs posts.
Shockingly the thread has moved on in 30 pages

Teaandcake1000 · 22/07/2019 15:21

@FrancisCrawford I did read the original post

The thing with kids is they don’t understand the politics of parents they just feel disappointment when they are let down.

I agree it’s a massive ask every week but follow through then don’t offer or agree to next season.

To let a child down on the very last one, the award day would have been a bad adult move.

Yes someone else took them so the child could attend and OP got to shave 20
Mins off her journey time.

Everyone wins.