To worry about the resilience of adults

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Am not trying to come across as goady or insensitive but have seen a distinct upturn recently both irl and online of adults not being able to deal with, what are essentially day to day life/set backs in a rational way -what was once a mishap is now a crisis.

To be clear I’m not talking l about those suffering with mental health issues (I have had my own), but more generally

Completely agree, OP, and I'm really concerned that young people really lack resilience. I'm s teacher and young people's reactions to not getting top grades are alarming. One girl refused to hand in any completed pieces of work as she was afraid she'd get another low grade. Her original grade wasn't even a failing grade, just not perfect.

And I’m now worried that people cannot tell the difference between a typo and grammar errors.

• [Message from MNHQ: we've edited your first post, as requested, to remove the typos]

Nasty comment NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1

YANBU OP, I've noticed this too.

@Fantababy exactly this. It’s as if we are being set up to fail by our very own ridiculous expectations

I agree - they seem to over react to any minor situation.

They look for instant justification of their reaction

Yes I agree. I’m noticing it with someone I know at the moment who is has a job that sounds fairly annoying and a bit stressful but she’s saying it makes her want to hurt herself. No existing MH issues.

I'm not sure which is worse. Adults not managing basic adulting or adults being nasty to other adults on Mumsnet.

At least the first one can be worked on...

aren't you all lovely, especially charming dodgeball -hope the poor woman has some empathetic people in her life, mh issues can start at any time and work stress is a trigger.
This resilience shit is just a 'nicer' way of saying stiff upper lip.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Do you genuinely think that’s a spelling mistake or are you a little behind the times when it comes to how smart phones work?

I’m not really in the habit of proofing my own posts I’m afraid

Yep, and it's exhausting being the person who has to deal with it.

@Fantababy do you not think that might have more to do with the ever-increasing competition for university places and jobs rather than the fact that adults have less resilience?

What would have been a very good grade a decade ago might not even get you a minimum wage job now.

Fair enough, it's a smartphone typo.

I agree with you about the resilience though, it's getting silly - and everyone wailing "I've got no support". Theres a lot to be said for being stoical and determined.

Even if it was a spelling mistake, what's wrong with being bad at spelling and grammar?

Not everyone is good at it < shrugs >

Sorry OP, didn't mean to take your thread off track.

YANBU OP. Some people i know genuinely can't go a week without a drama, its exhausting for the people around them. And actually, must be exhausting for them.

@InsertFunnyUsername it must be exhausting. And I do get that we all linger a little too long in our minds over things that don’t matter - but being perpetually upset over the small stuff must be tiresome.

I’m not saying that those who are like this are like it on purpose, but what can they/we do to try and build up at least some way to weather everyday life?

Completely agree.

Stress is a natural part of life and I think people are becoming so overloaded with various distractions, commitments, deadlines, social media outlets etc that their focus is all over the place and they struggle keep it together.

I completely agree, I struggle in trying to "calm" my team down at work far more than I ever did before (hospitality so managing mostly 18-25 year olds). It's definitely become more common for them to be completely unable to deal with any kind of stressful situation and immediately break down in tears, or want extra time off to recover from busy shifts!

There's also so much talk about "mindfulness" these days too. All a bit weird for me and I'm only late 20s so not particularly out of touch.

@DDIJ am sorry you’re feeling like that.

A few months ago I probably would have agreed with you but I had a situation earlier this year that provoked a mental health crisis, a symptom/side effect of which is total meltdown at things that would never have bothered me at all before.

Nobody really knows what people are dealing with op.

Yanb entirely u. However
A lot of people do have really shit childhoods and no protecting factors, so emotionally are unequipped to deal with life.
Some dont seem to understand that life doesnt have to revolve around drama.
Help for mh issues is lacking to put it mildly and the longer you go without treatment the worse these things get.

Oh and working conditions are really bad for lots, lack of stability in housing is also a stress factor.

OP could you give an example please?

I just feel that now and twenty years ago, there were drama llamas around. But not a major upturn. I know my sister would agree with you though.