To worry about the resilience of adults

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Am not trying to come across as goady or insensitive but have seen a distinct upturn recently both irl and online of adults not being able to deal with, what are essentially day to day life/set backs in a rational way -what was once a mishap is now a crisis.

To be clear I’m not talking l about those suffering with mental health issues (I have had my own), but more generally

^its also worth noting that my dad is very like me in a lot of ways-even small things like he doesn’t like calling people on the phone. He would never actually say this though! His response to his fear of getting stuff wrong was to bunk off school and stay in a badly paid job that he hated for 40 years 🤷‍♀️

A growing number of people see so emotionally needy these days

I agree. At least, they need validation from other people. I think I've posted on a similar thread about the Run Mummy Run Group on Facebook. It is an amazing group for supporting female runners and I have made friends from the group so I am not knocking it, but I do have to laugh inwardly to myself when women post about the bravery it takes them to go out running in shorts, in hot weather. Do they really think everyone is looking at them? Nobody gives a wotsit! These are grown women with children and in some cases high powered jobs.

And people asking questions in local FB groups all the time about eg the best Chinese takeaway. Is it really the end of the world if you have a takeaway that was marginally disappointing? I totally get why you'd ask for a recommendation for a plumber or electrician but not a takeaway!

And then you get the calls for recommendations for what to do in Florida, but they are just the stealth boasting posts.

Sorry gone a bit off topic but I think it is a bit related - needing constant validation from strangers on the internet.

I would ask about a takeaway, because I do want to get a decent take away.

I think the fact there is too much choice has led to the rise of ALDI and LIDL. It is not only about cost, but also that you do not have lots of choices to make. So value or better quality toilet paper choice, instead of choosing between many brands.

I would ask about a takeaway, because I do want to get a decent take away

But this is pointless!

We have 3 local, DD prefers the one in town, DH likes the local down the road and DS prefers the one in the next village.

All 3 have been open for years. So must have repeat customers.

If X had a issue with the town one, slow delivery or cold what ever they won’t go back but it might have been the chefs night off!!
Go find out for yourself

I wonder if all the choice in things like toilet paper makes people believe they have loads of choices with their lives. In the case of mine and my own friends lack of resilience as we became adults I think this came into it. I grew up assuming I'd be able to choose what job I did and where I wanted to live. The reality was having to take whatever job I was offered and not being able to afford to move out of my parents house.

Yes I have felt sorry for them as I have seen kids encouraged to think they can do whatever they want. This was done because my generation, especially working class young people, were encouraged to think you had very few choices. For girls teacher, secretary or nurse. So it came from a good place. But it went to the other extreme.
Far more realistic to say there are lots of different kinds of jobs out there you can work towards. But some jobs are difficult to get and you may not or not get them.

@greentulips There has been research about how people make consumer choices. You are a "good enough" consumer. You might find reading research on this helps you to understand why people do this.

I SO agree with you and its not just young people. Some people are literally jumping on the bandwagon and honestly - I think it spoils it for the people who have genuine mental health issues. I have two members of my family. Both are massive drama llarmas. Everything is blown out of all proportion.

One has a DD and she is becoming just the same. Sometimes we get a small piece of bad luck or something happens. Deal with it and just move on please. No one wants to know that you child had a melt down over a missing pen and stormed up stairs upsetting other members of the family.

I think the common use of melt down for NT children does not help. It sounds acceptable. When what they actually mean is a tantrum.

A relative has schizophrenia. I have looked out for this relative for many years. There were a few years when he was younger when he was very ill. But he has worked for many years, is fairly stable, has friends, etc. I know he has to look after himself to make sure that his mental health stays good enough to keep life ticking over, but he does it.

I think an issue is that so many younger people seem to think if you have anxiety or depression and can't do something, that is how it will always be. That is not true. Mental health can improve, but it takes work from you. I am not saying it is easy, but it seems to be worn almost as a badge now. I have social anxiety, rather than yes I get anxious at times and this is what I am doing to tackle it.

I also agree that there are some people who can just not manage everyday life without some help. It is fine if there are families around to do this, but otherwise these people can easily end up in all kinds of problems.
I had a few years of being very ill, and I found it almost impossible to manage my many hospital and GP appointments. I couldn't keep track of the days and missed some appointments. Which is why I know those who go on about if we all paid for missed appointments they would not be missed, are totally wrong in my case. The truth is when you have many appointments it takes work to keep track of them.

I have noticed that the word meltdown is now used for both people with additional needs having a meltdown due to be overwhelmed and toddlers and older people having temper tantrums.