Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

471 replies

loudnoises1 · 17/07/2019 17:43

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 17/07/2019 19:14

If they change as often as you say, at which point are they rubbish?

IveNotSlept · 17/07/2019 19:14

My mum was obsessed with trying to give my children boiled cooled water in hot weather, they were both exclusively breastfed and didn't need it. My eldest was quite small so she certainly didn't need filling up on water. I had to explain that you are advised to just feed more in hot weather when breastfeeding. My mum breastfed all 3 of her children and water was advised in hot weather back then. My mum respected what I asked though and never actually gave my children water. Your mil has gone against your wishes following what she will have been told to do years ago.

Whether or not it was well meaning for me that would feel like she'd gone against my specific instructions and I'd have issues trusting if she'd follow my instructions in future. I'd let her know this and just say you need to be sure that she will do what you say not what she thinks is right once you are out of sight.

slipperywhensparticus · 17/07/2019 19:14

That's far too much water in one go

smeerf · 17/07/2019 19:15

@tabbymumz but if the baby is full of water, how are they going to have a proper feed after? They'll end up drinking less milk that day as a result?

Knittedjimmychoos · 17/07/2019 19:15

It's the way it was packaged I'd be careful of.
If my dd was a very cautious worried new mum and panicked and followed things to a t I would follow it.

I would either contact her to say, baby hot I'd like to give some water or give a little and then defer to the new mother and say I'd hope it was OK.

That way it reassures the new mum, keeps her in control and builds up trust.

Saying.. Please don't do x y z with baby and then someone does x y z is one of the Mil /dil flash points.

And doing it to new mum is recipe for disaster. Because it is about trust.

How many dm or mils have fed baby ice cream when dairy intolerant , first foods too early etc etc etc.

Then they wonder why they are not trusted.

One would ask why? Why would someone go agaisnt what's you have asked then told the new mother.

Toddlerteaplease · 17/07/2019 19:15

YABU. It's water. Not vodka. Although 6 oz is probably a bit excessive. It won't do her any harm.

Serin · 17/07/2019 19:15

Where does it say this was 2 weeks ago?
OP said this past weekend.
Also where does she say she is fuming?
She says she is annoyed and questions whether this is reasonable or whether she is still a hormonal wreck.
I feel sorry for OP here!
If anyone had given my baby 6oz water I'd be cross too. I've seen the effects of water intoxification and it's horrible.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 17/07/2019 19:16

with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

You do know that the majority of milk is water don't you?
Your baby is definitely used to water.

I would be angry at a carer who didn't give a baby water on a warmer than average day. It's just common sense isn't it?

Knittedjimmychoos · 17/07/2019 19:16

Bertrand have you missed a career as mastermind host or interrogater?

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 19:17

I do agree NHS guidelines have changed loads over the years....used to be you put baby in their own room to sleep, now they have to be right next to you. Used to be advised to give baby rice at 13 weeks to start weaning, then it changed to 4 months, then for 6 months, now think it's a year.

Knittedjimmychoos · 17/07/2019 19:18

It probably won't but op said her baby had sensitive tummy so what if this triggers dirorea or sickness? Then baby is facing a wider range of issues.

applepieicecream · 17/07/2019 19:19

Seriously, she gave water, not poison. 6oz isn’t ideal but its hardly dangerous, the baby has that much water in a bottle feed. Honestly, annoying perhaps, but a tragedy worth a drama, no

dementedpixie · 17/07/2019 19:19

It has never been 1 year! It's been 6 months since 2003, so hardly changing 'all the time'

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 19:20

Smeef...Not necessarily. Water doesn't fill them up so baby could still be hungry later.

iolaus · 17/07/2019 19:21

If she's formula fed and the weather was as hot as it has been the past week or so then giving boiled water wouldn't have bothered me

HOWEVER giving 6oz of water is replacing a feed, rather than giving a drink and it would have bothered me

The fact though that you had clearly stated no it would have annoyed me because she deliberately overuled you

ArtichokeAardvark · 17/07/2019 19:21

YABVU. It was hot, and your baby needed a drink. You were not around to breastfeed, so your MIL gave water. What would you have preferred, your child to get dehydrated? Far far worse complications from that than a sore tummy and a few runny nappies!

You also can't force a baby to drink. If your baby drank 6oz, it's because your daughter was incredibly thirsty. You should have left expressed milk if you are going to be precious about things like this.

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 19:24

Dementedpixie....pretty sure it was one year at one point, so it's possibly gone down to 6 months again. I remember thinking a year was ridiculous. I'm going back as far as 2001.

Thesearmsofmine · 17/07/2019 19:24

It’s never been a year!

Aridane · 17/07/2019 19:26

It may only be water this time but it could be something unsuitable next time*

It is well known that water is a gateway liquid to gin, liquid sugar and a lifelong precursor to morbid obesity

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 19:26

“Used to be advised to give baby rice at 13 weeks to start weaning, then it changed to 4 months, then for 6 months, now think it's a year.”
It was 4-6 months 22 years ago, with the advice to leave it as near 6 months as possible. I don’t think that counts as “always changing”!

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 19:26

I tend to think at the end of the day nhs advice is just advice..which doesn't always work well for every baby. I've known babies that would be crawling the walls for food much sooner than 6 months.

SnuggyBuggy · 17/07/2019 19:26

I thought you didn't need baby rice, I was told I could just give normal rice

AllFourOfThem · 17/07/2019 19:28

I've seen the effects of water intoxification and it's horrible.

Hmm Oh please! A baby of this age typically has up to 6oz of formula in a feed. Guess what you mix six scoops of powder with?? It’s 6oz of water! So a 6oz bottle of formula milk contains 6oz of water and a 6oz bottle of water contains 6oz of water. It’s hardly cause for a melodramatic talk of water intoxication!

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 19:28

The advice has changed a fair amount over the years. From 2001 to now it's changed quite a lot.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 19:28

It has never been a year!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.