To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

[loudnoises1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

I would be furious!! Did she even boil the water and let it cool down like your supposed to ???

Nah, probably got the water out the pond or stagnant water butt

Best comment on the thread

rivalled perhaps only by the (non?) ironic comment that DGM might have dementia

Nah - couldn’t find am emoticon simultaneously combining yuck / nauseating and PMSL so went for the shock one. As you were

Thought so, cringe

I certainly will, I know for a fact that I won't be an over bearing know-it-all grandparent, as for my mother in law I don't need her advice : I've seen the fruits of her labour!

I'd tread carefully, over bearing parents are the ones who tend to make over bearing grandparents! You've seen the fruits of mil's labour, and yet you still married him?

@bodgeitandscraper sorry I should’ve mentioned ex MIL not that - that matters. There’s a difference between guidance and over bearing. Some really power trippy granny’s on here today phew!

I certainly will, i know for a fact I won’t be an over bearing know-it-all grandparent, as for my mother in law I don’t need her advice: I’ve seen the fruits of her labour!

And presumably chose nevertheless to procreate with one of them. Love.

Some really power trippy granny’s on here today

Granny's......?

YANBU you've discussed previously. Suggest finding alternative baby sitting options.

@NaturalBornWoman if the shoe fits

@NaturalBornWoman yes before I knew him and his mother were psychopaths. Is there a personal issue you wish to hash out here lovey? I’m pretty sure we have covered everything, I don’t wish to contribute any more? Thanks for your time love

if the shoe fits

Actually, it was more that the apostrophe didn’t.

The plural of granny is grannies.

Is there a personal issue you wish to hash out here lovey? I’m pretty sure we have covered everything, I don’t wish to contribute any more? Thanks for your time love

Stop @ing me and fuck off and patronise someone else then. Jeez

Babies under six months should NOT be given water. From 6-12 months they should not be given more than 2oz in a 24 hour period and only if there is a good reason. I'm horrified at the idea of the OP's MIL giving such a tiny baby 6 ounces. It's because a young baby does not have the kidney function to process water in the same way we do. It would cause a drastic reduction in electrolytes which can have very serious effects on the babies health, sometimes leading to death. Please be extra careful in situations where well meaning family members offer water., especially in this hot weather. OP you were right to be angry about it.

Babies under six months should NOT be given water

Except that they can. Current guidelines suggest giving formula fed babies water in the warmer weather.

I read about this case from another site, and specifically made an account just to give my 2 cents.

You are a 13-week old mum and you left your baby to attend someone else's wedding? I am glad your DD is fine, but it could be much worse.

MIL is just trying her best to do her job, she is not obligated and she done it out of love for you, your hubby and your kid. If she had done a good job, show your appreciation by buying something useful for her and thank her for it. Otherwise, you still need to thank her for sharing her time just to take care of your kid so you can enjoy a feast.

Like what many people had said, it is just water, and from what you wrote, we are quite sure your baby is on formula. Early breastfeeding mums don’t really have the time for wedding dinners.

Next, discussing about it after what had happened, doesn’t exactly put you in a “correct” position. If something happens to your baby because you used your time for a wedding feast, you are deemed negligent.

Active communications between the parents of the baby, and their caregivers(part time/full time) must be established at all times.

I am a dad of a 7 year old boy, and frankly, even though I am resourceful, I had not known about feeding babies with water is a bad thing. Much less your MIL.

As a family, don’t let issues like this cause further issues. Talk to MIL nicely and explain your knowledge completely. Everyone is learning no matter how old we get.

Your response was by far the best I had seen. Even though you lived in a different country than most of us here, you did the right thing to call for help. Each individual case can have completely different varieties, the best is to deal with each of these specifically and not using a “one-size-fits-all” protocol.

I would say screw that you can look after your own kid next time.

My point is, she is feeling unsecured with her MIL even before going to the wedding. Yet, she brushed that aside after assuming MIL should know best.

It is common in Singapore that, mommies with newborn kids, should devote all her time at home, for taking care of the kids. This is EXACTLY why our Singapore government intended the Maternity Leave for.

If the New Mum wants something bought, she can easily request mum-in-law or her husband to buy it for her, I do that even when my wife says she ran out of sanitary napkins.

A mother that has successfully brought up kids, means she knows what to do, I do not see it fair to put all the blame on just a single person.

The lion’s share of the responsibility, belongs to the new mum, at all times, on all day.

Learn to appreciate instead of trying to return to your comfort zone so early.

@welshsoph Are you sure you are reading what I wrote properly? What common practice are you speaking about? I did not, at any point, on any of my posts, mentioned about fathers not needed to take care of kids after they are born.

Myself, I resigned from a top banker position, and started a small family business just for my kid. As a father, I am proud of myself. Growing up, my very own dad was too strict, I had told myself that I will never hit my kid regardless of what happens, he treats me like his bestie these days.

Coming back to the topic, you had completely made up story on me, based on your assumptions. I shall get it to the point to address OP with the below statements;

1. After giving birth, it is best to stay at home, especially with our culture in Singapore. If the mother wants to do something, she MUST ensure that the guardian of the baby has a person she fully trust, to take care of her. Hubby can take over the job, but too bad, both of them went to the wedding feast together.

2.) Mum In Law tried her best to take care of the baby, and she must be appreciated. The way OP puts it, anybody can tell that she is going hysteric over the matter. Definitely not sounding appreciative at all.

3.) Nobody says you cannot get out of the house after 13 weeks of giving birth. You can. But make sure you feed kiddo every single time. In between, if you need to get out for a breather, you can always do so after notifying your mother-in-law to assist.
You are clearly being too extreme, on your version of “ going out “.

4. Incase you didnt know, Singapore is a very tiny island nation. We are so compacted that in every housing estate, every location, we can easily access groceries stores, markets, food centres within 5-15 mins of walking.

My wife, an American caucasian, loved her small walks around the neighbourhood when I am taking care of kiddo. We took turns every time, and my job change was to ease her load too. I don’t make as much as I used to, but more than enough for them to live even a little luxuriously.

With that I wrap up my 2 cents. For anyone else that read this post, be thankful your in-laws are even willing to help you look after your kids. I know a lot of idiots that wouldn’t do it even when they are paid by their own kids.

Learn to appreciate the love your elders are still giving to you, rather than whine and grumble sorely over stupid little crap.

6 ounce of water with only 1 attempt, will not cause water toxicity. Period.