To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

[loudnoises1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

[EarringsandLipstick]

@SnuggyBuggy normal rice what's that, in relation to weaning?
Baby rice is entirely different. If you mean something like Uncle Ben's rice, then no way can you use that for initial weaning!

[smeerf]

@TabbyMumz
Hopefully. Still not great though is it? 6oz is 170ml! 150ml of milk was a big feed for my son at that age.

I am really confused that so many people on this thread think a woman going against the explicit wishes of a baby's mother (and the NHS guidelines!) was in the right. I'd try and find someone a bit more trustworthy next time OP.

[dementedpixie]

It has never been 1 year. You're making stuff up now. My dd was born in 2003. It changed from 4-6 months to 6 months in that year. Its been 6 months since then

[itscallednickingbentcoppers]

I think I'd be more concerned about that fact that plain water caused bloating and explosive poos? Have you been referred to a paediatrician about this feeding issue?

[TabbyMumz]

Another example of changed advice ...It used to be that you would make up 6 bottles of milk the night before and store in the fridge till needed, then heat it up. Now you are advised to only make it up when needed and wait for the milk to cool.

[bodgeitandscarper]

One day op it could well be you who is asked to babysit your grandchildren. You may think you'll do a perfect job, (and after all you will have managed to raise at least one baby to adulthood and have years of experience behind you.)
Just imagine trying to do the right thing to have your DIL complain at your caring and how you would feel!
It was only water, which I doubt very much would have harmed her, I have never heard of babies becoming ill from over consumption of water when it was the norm to give it between feeds.

I think I'd thank her for looking after your baby, but if you are going to stress about her looking after your child then don't leave her there. Grandparents and relatives can be a great support, don't cut off your nose to spite your face over trivial things.

[BertrandRussell]

“The advice has changed a fair amount over the years. From 2001 to now it's changed quite a lot.”

Sorry- at a risk of being accused of interrogation - can you mention some of the changes? The only one I can think of is the forming up of the anti co sleeping advice. It’s always been there, but less definite than it is now.

[WomanLikeMeLM]

Babys do need water, YABU. Your Mil has been a mother a lot longer than you.

[EarringsandLipstick]

Weaning advice is between 17 & 26 weeks ie no earlier than 4 months, no later than 6 months. It's guided by a few factors.

When my first was born, 12 years ago it was 6 months (to begin weaning) for EBF babies.

[TabbyMumz]

Dementedpixie....how ridiculous to say people are making stuff up. Why on earth would I do that.

[EskewedBeef]

what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

Unlikely, and you know it or you wouldn't leave your baby with her for a few hours at a time.

You say the baby isn't used to water, but it is essentially the base of whatever milk they're having several times a day, so it's not a 'new' thing. Milk is just water with added nutritional extras.

[smeerf]

People with older children get very sensitive about guidelines changing because it indicates they weren't doing the right rhing for their child. You were doing the best thing possible at the time, don't worry! But now we're going to listen to the experts when making decisions for our children, just like you did. Please don't undermine us.

[MissConductUS]

It is well known that water is a gateway liquid to gin, liquid sugar and a lifelong precursor to morbid obesity

As the MIL/diet coke thread I mentioned earlier clearly demonstrates. That MIL no doubt started with water and was escalating to diet coke.

[marvik]

I cannot imagine leaving a small breastfed baby for several hours on a hot day without having a) expressed milk and b) ensured that the baby would take expressed milk from a bottle.

If I was stupid enough to leave a baby in those circumstances, I'd be grateful somebody stepped in to ensure that a very small person didn't get dangerously dehydrated.

[TabbyMumz]

Smeef...one of my babies was on 6 oz feeds every 4 hours at 3 months, another was downing an 8oz bottle at that age They are all different.

[Lllot5]

My youngest is thirty next month so I’m obviously out of the loop.
Weaning at three/ four months. Mine were all big so weaned early. Cooled boiled water was given.
Made up six bottles keep in fridge and then heated in microwave.
Fed every four hours definitely no co sleeping, too dangerous.
Like I say I’m out the loop, but might be worth remembering in thirty years time advice may well be different again.
Go easy on your mil she’s only doing what she thinks is best.

[BertrandRussell]

“People with older children get very sensitive about guidelines changing because it indicates they weren't doing the right rhing for their child.”

No. I get sensitive about people talking bollocks about guidelines changing because the next line is always “the guidelines change all the time- it’s absolutely fine for you to wean your baby at 13 weeks. They are only guidelines- you know your baby best”

The guidelines weaning have hardly changed since I weaned my first child 22 years ago!

[TabbyMumz]

Snuggybuggy...we were advised baby rice at 13 weeks, its like flakes that you mix with formula and it goes mushy. You couldn't give a 3 month old normal rice I don't think.

[MauisHouseOnMaui]

It used to be that you would make up 6 bottles of milk the night before and store in the fridge till needed, then heat it up. Now you are advised to only make it up when needed and wait for the milk to cool.

Wrong again.

The ideal/best way to make up feeds is as needed but NHS advice (and WHO advice) states that made up formula can be stored in the fridge for up to 24hrs.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/infant-formula-questions/

how ridiculous to say people are making stuff up. Why on earth would I do that.

In all fairness, you're talking shite about a lot of this subject. Weaning age of a year? It's never been a year. NHS guidance changing "all the time"? The current advice on feeding hasn't changed for many years now.

[dementedpixie]

Where does the OP say that the baby is bf? She hasn't specified one way or the other

[TabbyMumz]

But Bertrand.. advice Was to wean baby at 13 weeks...that was the advice in 2001, because I dutifully followed it to the letter. It's now different advice .therefore that's a change is it not?

[MauisHouseOnMaui]

And OP has fallen conveniently silent.

[OooErMissus]

This thread is batshit.

There is a really easy way to resolve this. Talk to MIL.

She wouldn’t be looking after the baby again until she could respect my wishes.

🙄

Way to ensure you get no more time off to do things like go to weddings.

[AnAC12UCOinanOCG]

God, what a heinous bitch, trying to keep your baby cool and hydrated. Have her euthanised - anything else is too good for that monster.

[smeerf]

BertrandRussell: I think I was unclear. I meant parents of older children who dismiss current guidelines and are sensitive when they're pulled up on it. I'm team OP.