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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

471 replies

loudnoises1 · 17/07/2019 17:43

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 17/07/2019 18:31

Maybe the baby would have been less hot if she wasn't dressed in double layers and covered with a blanket, anyone would think she'd warmed up baby so she could give her a drink to cool her down, legitimately..

saraclara · 17/07/2019 18:33

anyone would think she'd warmed up baby so she could give her a drink to cool her down, legitimately..

Oh come on.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/07/2019 18:33

@TheDandyHighwayman, did you mistake "gave my baby water" for "beat my baby with a strap"?Confused

Bambamber · 17/07/2019 18:33

There never seems to be any middle ground on Mumsnet.

You don't have to be fuming and you don't have to completely ignore it. How about being a reasonable adult and having a proper conversation with her and show her the NHS guidance on water intake for babies. Ask her to stick to that guidance in future.

It sounds as though she did what she thought was best. She didn't set out to hurt your baby, she wasn't unkind or malicious. She made a mistake that I'm sure with an appropriate conversation she won't make again

dottiedodah · 17/07/2019 18:34

She probably panicked and was worried about the baby in the heat.It wouldnt have done Babe any harm at all,so try not to worry about it .If you leave her with MIL again can you maybe express some milk at all?.Lots of babies get fractious in the heat as well TBH!

MyNameIsRachel · 17/07/2019 18:34

My baby is 6 months when he was 5 I asked HV about water as I am worried about the heat, both dehydration and hot at night.

She said when baby is taking the normal amount of milk for him it’s fine. If he doesn’t take it an ounce of water is enough!

Oh, FF here

MissConductUS · 17/07/2019 18:35

There was a thread on MN last year about a MIL who was hell bent to give a baby diet coke, thinking "baby will associate sweet yummy things with me". Mother strictly forbids this of course. Then while all were at a restaurant MIL takes a bottle and while mum wasn't listening asked the waitress to fill it with diet coke. The waitress, bless her heart (MN'er probably) refuses and reports the batshit request to the mum. Pandemonium ensues, etc. etc.

So YANBU, but it could be worse. Smile

Nanny0gg · 17/07/2019 18:35

How long was a 'few hours' and what did she have on hand to feed/hydrate your baby?

Knittedjimmychoos · 17/07/2019 18:35

It's not the water or amount, it's the fact you had conversation and she's gone agaisnt you.

I also dislike the sly way the she wrapped it in... She was a bit hot but she's fine now??!!

Telling you that her action has made baby ok.
. Instead of 'she seemed hot, I did give her some water, I hope that's OK I didn't want to call you and disturb you.'

azulmariposa · 17/07/2019 18:36

If it was 6oz over the day, it's fine. In one go, not great.
It's water, it's not coke! If it was a hot day, then she probably needed it anyway.

dementedpixie · 17/07/2019 18:40

TabbyMumz Water is different to formula/ breastmilk. Too much water can dilute a baby's normal sodium levels and can lead to seizures, coma, brain damage and death.

Rachelover40 · 17/07/2019 18:41

I used to give my baby water in a bottle, we were all advised to whether breast or bottle fed and the babies were even given it while they were still in hospital. 6oz sounds like a bit too much all in one go - maybe your baby wasn't given it in one go.

I can't see how a little water will do much harm but if you'd expressly forbidden it, your mother in law really shouldn't have given it. I imagine she didn't know what to do for the best.

ElfridaEtAl · 17/07/2019 18:42

What a shame she's fucked her chance of having a relationship with your daughter, because there are no circumstances she should be allowed anywhere near her, the stupid cow.

She gave the baby water, she didn't take her to to happy hour at the local cocktail bar HmmWine

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 18:43

@dementedpixie...too much liquid (Not just water( can cause those affects in adults too. But I think 6oz of water is fine.

DoulaDaisy · 17/07/2019 18:44

Water is no longer advised for babies under 6 months of age, whether formula or breast fed. It can be harmful. And 6oz all at once? She could have given your baby water intoxification.

I'd be having serious words with her over this.

dementedpixie · 17/07/2019 18:44

Formula/breastmilk contains salts and other nutrients whereas water doesn't.

SnuggyBuggy · 17/07/2019 18:44

At the risk of sounding daft if large amounts of water are fine why is it considered dangerous to water down formula?

Buddytheelf85 · 17/07/2019 18:45

I’d be pretty annoyed too OP. And if she was concerned about your daughter being hot, you’d think she wouldn’t dress her in double layers and a blanket.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/07/2019 18:46

I knew a passionate breastfeeder on her 3rd baby who refused any notion of giving her baby water.

Few summers ago the baby ended up in hospital for 2 weeks essentially with dehydration, and took 2 weeks to recover in hospital because mum refused any treatment other than breastfeeding.

I knew staff members who were very upset that bed space and staff time were wasted for 2 weeks as they had to support Mum’s choice.

It’s water.

I cannot imagine any commitment to breastfeeding being worth that.

newmomof1 · 17/07/2019 18:47

I disagree with those saying 'well that's what her generation did'.

You've specifically told her you don't want the baby having water. Especially 6oz... what is she on?!
Don't let her look after your baby again, seriously.

Nat6999 · 17/07/2019 18:47

SnuggyBuggy Formula shouldn't be watered down because it fills the baby's stomach but doesn't give the correct nutrition.

SnuggyBuggy · 17/07/2019 18:47

I thought breastmilk got more watery in hot weather?

BishopBrennansArse · 17/07/2019 18:47

Oh noes not water! Should have given tea wiv 3 sugars 🙄

Strokethefurrywall · 17/07/2019 18:48

What a shame she's fucked her chance of having a relationship with your daughter, because there are no circumstances she should be allowed anywhere near her, the stupid cow.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 You win the Olympic gold 🥇 for overreaction! Congrats on your hysteria, it's made my day!

SnuggyBuggy · 17/07/2019 18:48

Wouldn't water also fill the stomach without giving nutrition. It's all rather complicated

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