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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

471 replies

loudnoises1 · 17/07/2019 17:43

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

OP posts:
MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 17/07/2019 18:49

@SnuggyBuggy it’s not current guidance to give more than sips under 6 months. For some reason I think I was told under 2oz per day - but I can’t find that online. Think it was by a HV.

LoseLooseLucy · 17/07/2019 18:50

Threads like these must fill mothers of sons with absolute dread.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 17/07/2019 18:50

Oh get over yourself .

Would you rather your baby be dehydrated ?
What is is it with so many of you these days ??

Like a PP said, I really really appreciate my DIL right now . I might tell her that .

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 18:50

@dementedpixie....of course water doesn't contain nutrients, but it is being given here in addition to normal feeds as the baby was hot and clearly thirsty. If baby was just given water full stop, of course that would be dangerous.
Advice used to be to get your baby to sleep through the night, to give it water in the night, as they don't bother waking up for water.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 17/07/2019 18:51

What a shame she's fucked her chance of having a relationship with your daughter, because there are no circumstances she should be allowed anywhere near her, the stupid cow.

Are you as delightful in real life ? Hmm

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 17/07/2019 18:51

As an aside I also appreciate my MIL who definitely want to give my baby chocolate but instead made her a broccoli potato carrot meal instead

dementedpixie · 17/07/2019 18:52

That advice was not given for that age of baby. How do you know if she had offered milk first before offering water?

RebootYourEngine · 17/07/2019 18:54

Im not sure the water is the issue. I would be annoyed that she went against your wishes. It may only be water this time but it could be something unsuitable next time.

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 18:56

@dementedpixie...If you mean the advice to give babies water to get them to sleep through the night...yes it was. My baby was 3 months when I was told to do this...and it worked.
If I had a baby on a hot day, clearly thirsty, and wanted more than a few sips.. I'd give it.

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 18:57

Dementedpuxie, I meant she would have had other feeds throughout the day as well.

Beansandcoffee · 17/07/2019 18:58

You came home to a baby that had been looked after. Ok she had a big belly - show me a baby that doesn’t. It was very hot at the weekend. If you were that concerned why didn’t you leave the wedding ASAP and come home to get the baby. Sounds like she did a good job but you want to find fault with her. If she has any sense she will not look after the baby until she is older. Then you can come on here and moan that she doesn’t want to look after your baby,

MauisHouseOnMaui · 17/07/2019 18:58

Water is no longer advised for babies under 6 months of age, whether formula or breast fed. It can be harmful.

Current NHS advice is to give formula fed babies water during hot weather.

AlaskanOilBaron · 17/07/2019 19:00

What a shame she's fucked her chance of having a relationship with your daughter, because there are no circumstances she should be allowed anywhere near her, the stupid cow.

Perhaps it's meant ironically?

These threads do indeed fill mothers of sons with dread. I wouldn't have done it, but she obviously meant well.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 19:00

I would be amazed if a baby drank 6oz of water all in one go. Is that what happened?

Aridane · 17/07/2019 19:00

Thank goodness DMIL was on hand to prevent dehydration. Is DH similarly apoplectic?

Alicatz66 · 17/07/2019 19:01

Don't ask her to babysit then ... it will never be an issue again. Your baby .... your rules .... but you have to accept that you take baby wherever you go and have no time off .

smeerf · 17/07/2019 19:04

OP YANBU. I'd be upset too. That much water for a tiny baby could be dangerous and you'd explicitly told her your wishes already. A sip, maybe, but not 6oz.

Is your baby gaining weight well enough to skip the nutrients from a milk feed (which is what's happened)? My giant lad would have been fine, some friends' babies were not gaining as they should and this would have set them back.

ThePurpleHeffalump · 17/07/2019 19:06

I’m shocked you left your little baby.
I’m shocked you are not EBF.
I’m shocked that you are not up to date with the latest info from the NHS about best practice for your child.

Wait, no I’m not.
Advice and practices change all the time, so frequently that one lot of experts often contradict another. Your MiL thought she was looking after her grandchild and avoiding dehydration, but you’d rather get furious.
So lesson learnt. Don’t leave DD in someone else’s care again.

justasking111 · 17/07/2019 19:07

A friend and I had babies at the same time her in Yorkshire. She came home to visit family, her baby was just not right, we were in the middle of a heatwave. Rang my midwife to ask for advice and bless her she came out to the baby, dehydration. Now this baby was exclusively breastfed, the midwife suggested some cooled boiled water asap and to watch out for a depressed fontanelle which friends baby had a sign of dehydration another sign is dusty looking skin.

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 19:07

@smeerf..She hasn't said the baby skipped a feed, she had it in addition to feeds.

TSSDNCOP · 17/07/2019 19:08

Two weeks ago you say? That’s way too long ago to still be upset about something that caused no harm.

isadoradancing123 · 17/07/2019 19:08

Good grief, its a bit of water, 6oz in one go is a bit much but not the end of the world

isadoradancing123 · 17/07/2019 19:09

As for N H S guidelines, they change that often that its obvious they are rubbish

dustarr73 · 17/07/2019 19:10

Op would you rather your baby was dehydrated.Maybe she should have rung you and asked you.

But the end of the day its not only your baby.She didnt do anything harmful.The baby was thirsty so she gave dc water.

Maybe dont go and leave your 3 month old wiht mil then.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 19:10

“As for N H S guidelines, they change that often that its obvious they are rubbish”

Really? When did they change last? Which ones specifically?

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