I feel so ashamed I need to do something

[ReadyToLoseThisJelly]

Had some results yesterday from the recurrent miscarriage clinic and they outlined some health reasons why I should have IVF.

Only issue is I can't have IVF until my bmi is 30 and it's currently 49 😳 I spent all day yesterday crying, but today I feel like thats not helpful?

I need to change but I don't know how. I'm 27 and I weigh 19 stone 7 pounds, I can't have a baby until I'm at least 13 stone, I know I did this to myself but I don't know where to start to get rid of it.

I started the couch to 5k thing today and nearly died! But I have to do this. I can't not do this. I've also downloaded les mills on demand to try and do some workouts at home?

I'm so ashamed I got myself into this mess.

This post was edited at OP's request

Ah bless you. So sorry. I really hope you can find the determination to help yourself out of this situation. Do you feel like your eating habits are out of control? Exercises will help but diet is the main factor in weight loss.

Would a food diary help?
I had Similar when ttc ds. I was 20 and obese. I joined weight watchers. But I made sure I had 1 treat a week.. After weigh in I'd get a treat whether a take away or a Sweet
I also got off the bus 2 stops earlier. It was the same distance but had a bugger hill to climb after work.
Good luck

Don't waste any more time feeling ashamed. It will do no good. I am making the assumption you are the weight you are through poor diet and little exercise (and I apologise if this is not the case!). If you have been having recurrent miscarriages then it's no surprise things have gone to pot. I can't begin to imagine how dreadful recurrent MCs are.
You must cut yourself some slack, things have obviously been rotten for you.
The good thing is, you can change. In fact, you have already started changing. Thinking about your couch to 5k, tomorrow you will nearly die a little later than you did today. Next week, it will take you even longer to nearly die. In a month or so, you won't nearly die at all!
When you see results in your fitness like this, it will naturally spur you on to keep at it.
Can you keep a food diary for the next week? Be brutally honest about it. At the end of the week, you will be able to see what type of changes and swaps you could make.
When you have more than a couple of stone to lose, you can make a lot of progress with simple changes - you don't need to launch yourself straight into 1000 calories a day.
Would you feel comfortable telling us about a typical days food?

So sorry you're feeling like this OP. Diet is far more effective than exercise for weight loss, so you need to work out a sensible, sustainable eating plan.

I would see your GP and get them to help you. There are lots of ways to cut down on what you eat, you just need to find the right one.

To begin with, try to up your intake of veg and cut down on starchy carbs like pasta, bread and potatoes. Eat three meals a day and try not to snack.

A 20 min brisk walk will be fine to get started and burn a few extra calories.

Good luck

It's great to increase exercise, but it's 80% down to diet. I'm simple terms, eat fewer calories than you burn, and move more.

Download My Fitness Pal. Track every morsel you eat and drink. Fill half your plate with veggies before you put anything else on there. Drink water. Tons of it.

Stick a picture of a pretty baby nursery on your fridge. Anything you binge on - don't buy it in. If it isn't in, you would need to wall to the shop for it.

Get a tape measure and take your measurement weekly. This will improve faster than the scales and keep you motivated.

Start by making small but obvious changes. Don't fill your cupboards with junk, cut down on portion sizes and start drinking more water and ditch any fizzy.

I also recommend hula hooping. You can get weighted exercise hoops that make it easier to keep the hoop up. You can do it from the comfort of your own home, or go to hoop classes. It is gentle on your joints and you can slowly build up how much you do and the difficulty level of the hooping that you do. You can also buy smaller non weighted hoops so you can do exercises with your arms and even your legs as you get more experienced. I also find it really fun or something that you can just do in front of the TV.

I’m trying to loose weight too OP - I downloaded my fitness pal to track calories xx

It's great to increase exercise, but it's 80% down to diet.

This is absolutely key.

Using your 5km as an example, walking that distance will only burn around 400 calories at your current weight.

So even if you do that extra 5km every day, you won't burn off even a single pound of weight per week by exercise.

That's not to say exercising is pointless - it's definitely not - but when you don't lose weight from it, it can be very demotivating.

It’s totally understandable you feel like this, but try not to dwell on it too much. Focus your energy on what you’re going to do about it.

Your plan to exercise more is great, but weightloss is about 80% diet and only 20% excise, so you want to look at both. I can recommend the NHS 12 week plan as a good place to start: www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/start-the-nhs-weight-loss-plan/

I lost 3 stone on this diet over the past 6 months, so it definitely works. My top tip for weightloss is to try and break your goal up into smaller goals. The idea of losing, for example, 6 stone in a year can feel hugely daunting. But if you aim to lose half a stone a month, things start to feel a lot more manageable. Both will get you to exactly the same point in exactly the same amount of time, but one will feel a lot easier to do mentally

If you’re interested, there is a lot of support available in the weightloss section. Good luck!

Empty the house of biscuits, crisps, fizzy drinks, ready meals etc.
Buy a smaller plate for your main meals.
Half of every meal should be fruit/veg.
Try having one square of good quality chocolate as a treat after meals.
Snack only on fruit or veg.
Keep moving - walk more, dance, swim.
Good luck, you can do it.

You poor, poor love. Please don't beat yourself up, it won't help. I struggle with my weight too and have been heavier than you. If you can, join a Slimming World group. Otherwise download the My Fitness Pal app and follow that - it'll take some time but you will get there, please don't feel ashamed xx

We did couch to 5k last year. The first few days felt impossibly hard but within a couple of weeks we reached our goal and the sense of achievement was wonderful.

Anything is possible with the right attitude. I think Dawn French had to get down to something like 9 stone in order to adopt her daughter and she did it. You can too.

I’m very sorry about your miscarriage and wish you all the best with your IVF.

Oh and don’t think of it as weight loss - think of it as a complete lifestyle change to become healthy for your new baby 👶🏻

I second the My Fitness Pal app! I'm usually between 5-10kg more than I should be (yes, I know that's very different to what you need to lose but it is also difficult to lose weight when you are smaller). A friend and I started using it daily in January last year for a few months. I was eating 1000 cal per day and my friend - who had 40+kg to lose was eating 1500 cal per day. Over the 3 months, I lost the 5kg I was aiming for and she lost a whopping 21kg while only doing very light exercise every other day. I was planning for a special event so I rarely had a cheat day but she says she had a cheat day at least once a fortnight.

She said she uses this little mantra every morning - she looks in the mirror and says to herself - Goodbye old me! Today is the only time in my life I will be this size because if I'm good today, I'll be a little bit lighter tomorrow.

Good luck!

It's great to increase exercise, but it's 80% down to diet.

This is absolutely key.

^^
This with bells on.

Don't pussy foot around. You need to make massive changes to your diet and lifestyle. Calculate your daily calorie allowance and stick to it.

I lost weight by lower carbing and cycling. Eggs, Greek yog and low sugar apple compote for breakfast, massive bowls of lentil and veg soup, big chickpea salads with a meat protein for lunch then homemade casseroles, meat and two veg (I. E. Two sausages, half a plate of veg, a few baby boiled potatoes and a splash of gravy), BBQ steak, pork chops etc and a big salad for supper. You need a lot of fibre to make sure you feel full : best way to do this is loads of veg.

I'd suggest you start a thread in Weightloss chat for support. You'll definitely benefit from hearing from people who have been there and can listen.

Good luck op.

If you have the financial ability I’d recommend doing something like getting your meals delivered. Unless you really enjoy cooking dieting is really hard especially at the beginning. Having food there for you means it’s one less thing to worry about. Your less likely to order a take away if your tired and it can actually alter your perception of what a serving is there aren’t any seconds to go back for.

I agree with PPs that diet is key, exercise just helps speed it up. You have to be in the right mental space and reduce the risk of temptation - don’t have any bad food in the house, make sure your partner and family don’t buy bad food (this is my biggest downfall), and plan out your meals and snacks in advance. I find me replacement plans can help on the last point.

Be careful with couch to 5km as you are putting pressure on your body, possible damage to joints. Lower impact exercise is probably better initially and then start running a few stone down. Local council gyms tend to have programmes to help weight loss and with disabled clients so better able to advise, and you won’t be the only one tackling your weight.

I had a lovely slim aunt and she said the trick is to always stop eating before you feel full.

My Dsis was like you and changed her diet to a for-life diet where she slowly lost weight and yes, she had her occasional treats too. She been at a good weight now many years. So avoid extreme diets, just change your eating habits.

If I were you, I’d just start with brisk walking for at least 30 minutes a day, every day, instead of running.

It doesn’t matter what diet you do, but something like slimming world where you have regular meetups seems to be very effective.

Losing weight is really hard, so be kind to yourself.

Running is really tough on your body at the best of times, but especially when you're over weight, so please be gentle with this and start slow. Listen to your body - especially listen to your knees!

I know you've got loads of different view points here on diets, but I'll throw my hat into the ring anyway just off personal experience - intermittent fasting is a great place to start. Not only does it immediately slash your calorie intake, but you don't have to make any foods "forbidden" which makes the transition easier, and most importantly it resets your blood sugar. You very quickly find that you aren't able to eat as much in one go. So those huge portions and second helpings that you may be accustomed to are suddenly impossible to squeeze in. You naturally start eating smaller portions and feel satisfied quicker.

Everyone has different ideas about what diets work, so it's best to just go with what's most manageable for you. Also thinking about why you're doing this will be helpful on the days when you are struggling - having a baby is excellent motivation!

Good luck! Check in with us on here so we know how you're getting on.

Have you come across BIWI and the boot camps she runs on here? Maybe you could join her next one. She advocate LCHF (low carb high fat diet - very effective for weight loss) iirc. If you don’t fancy that, I’d definitely recommend joining a dieting club. If you do things with the support of others in a group, research has proven the results are far more positive.

Sorry to hear this do you have a Slimming World class near you? I consistently lost 5lb a week doing slimming world, as the weight started coming off I found I could exercise more, started with just walking, moved onto Joe Wicks HIT for absolute beginners (youtube videos) Good thing about slimming world is you're not hungry plus there are snacks and cheats (sins) try it, I was dubious but it worked for me, I was "slimmer of the week" twice which was great for motivation. If it's any help I hate dieting and exercise but this is one I could stick too, good luck x

Just picking up on what twisty said, intermittent fasting is effective. There are different programmes. Google 16/8 diet and 5/2 diet. I found the former easier. My friend prefers the latter.

Shame is a toxic emotion. You aren’t a bad person because you are overweight. This is not a moral failing for which you should feel shame.

In terms of practical advice, I would say that you can’t outrun a bad diet. Exercise is brilliant and important and will help you feel good physically and mentally, but it won’t make you lose weight in its own. Weight loss is almost entirely down to diet.

I would try an app like my fitness pal which counts calories and start logging everything you eat. If you put your weight and activity level in accurately, it will give you a daily calorie allowance. It has a huge database of foods and allows you to scan barcodes, so it’s a very easy way to track calories. As long as you stay under the recommended allowance on the app, you will lose weight.

Please don’t feel bad about yourself - you’re not a bad person, you aren’t disgusting or a failure. And you can do this.

Please forgive me if I'm wrong, but doesn't having gene for Huntington's mean you would eventually develop it? (It's a dominant gene...) 😢