I feel so ashamed I need to do something

[ReadyToLoseThisJelly]

Had some results yesterday from the recurrent miscarriage clinic and they outlined some health reasons why I should have IVF.

Only issue is I can't have IVF until my bmi is 30 and it's currently 49 😳 I spent all day yesterday crying, but today I feel like thats not helpful?

I need to change but I don't know how. I'm 27 and I weigh 19 stone 7 pounds, I can't have a baby until I'm at least 13 stone, I know I did this to myself but I don't know where to start to get rid of it.

I started the couch to 5k thing today and nearly died! But I have to do this. I can't not do this. I've also downloaded les mills on demand to try and do some workouts at home?

I'm so ashamed I got myself into this mess.

This post was edited at OP's request

Keep going in the couch to 5k.... it’s a killer at first but you’ll get there! I recall barely breathing when having to jog for 1 minute!!!

I dont have anything to add re diet and exercise but really want to give you some support and encouragement. You CAN do this and you will be so proud of what you have achieved when it's all done!

Don't waste energy being ashamed, use it to be determined!

Good luck

You can do it OP, it seems like a mountain to climb but just take it day by day.

I’ve recently lost 4 stone with Slimming World (going from 17.5st to 13.5st). Your doctor can give you the first 6 weeks for free, a lot of people in my group started that way

Don't be ashamed, that's your biggest enemy. You need to have a calorie deficit, you can get amazing results with the keto diet, there is lots of info on line and food plans. Or get yourself along to a slimming world or something where you can get moral support & accountability.

You’re got so much going on- recurrent MC, Huntington’s gene (which is a massive deal and stressor itself). Take things slow. It sounds like a huge amount of weight but people do it and remarkably quickly when they need to! I’d suggest slimming world. As pp have said diet is key so join up and use couch to 5K to support that weight loss. You have the biggest motivator in the world- becoming a mummy! You can do it

I am doing Noom which has really helped me work out what and how I am doing and has stopped me sabotaging my efforts.

What awful news to get, were you expecting it or was it completely out of the blue? Did they talk about the implications for your health at all?

Sorry that you’ve been going through such an awful time. Miscarriages really just suck. I’ve found weight loss success with the fast800 diet, combined with a 16:8 pattern of eating. Good luck x

If you would like some inspiration OP, look to Tyson Fury. He was the Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World and then spent two years spiraling into a dark place where he was depressed, drinking, taking drugs and gained a ton of weight. It was generally considered that his career was over.

He got a spark of motivation because an opponent said he was a loser. He decided to get into shape, he went for his first run and he was so out of shape he couldn’t and he had to walk (remember he was a world class athlete). He went on to lose 135lbs, the majority of it in less than a year. He is now at the top of his game once again!

I find him so inspirational and his long suffering wife, Paris, who stuck with him through it all. They just had their 5th child. Tyson was mostly dealing with a mental health problem, extreme anxiety and depression. And for all of us when we need to take good care of ourselves, our mind has to be in the right place first. Do what you need to get a healthy mind and the rest will follow.

Have a look at what is available to you locally...my trust were recently doing a trial for slimming classes, exercise classes plus psychological support throughout and some other trusts are doing similar.

My DH has struggled with his weight since teenage years and it's really important to get out of the mindset that you've gone too far and nothing can be fixed. When you are there it's just another Mars bar or another packet of crisps and nothing matters anyway so why bother. Try to keep positive, look at progress pics or intermittent fasting on reddit and see how amazing these guys have done in a year. Its helpful to think where you could be in a year.

I lost 2 stone quite quickly after breastfeeding by eating the same boring lo cal bfast and lunch every day (belvita biscuit and chicken soup) so I didnt think about food at all during the day and wasnt tempted to have a higher calorie lunch or snack. I always had a good home cooked tea to come home to so I had something to look forward to. Not for everyone but worked for me!

I've been fat for years OP and just can't lose any weight. I had a gastric band back in february this year and have lost 5 stone. I'm paying for it on a loan.

Just wanted to post for some support OP, it sounds like you've been through a really tough time.

But you can lose this weight and what fantastic motivation for you. I started this year at 21 stone and I've lost 4 stone so far (at least 4 more to go!) and I'm half way through C25K.

Do you have a specific eating plan you think you want to follow? I find keeping a food diary really helpful, especially when I have weeks where I've gained weight as I can go back through the week and see if there is anything that has crept in that might explain the gain.

Good luck in your journey, I'm rooting for you

Can you afford to do the Cambridge plan? I’ve seen my bmi go from 32 to 29 in a week. The food you buy is actually really tasty and it’s amazing for rapid weight loss in a controlled way. If you can’t spend the money, Whole30 is another excellent way that helped me lose 2 stone (which I’ve kept off) while also helping me improve my understanding of food (I’m on the Cambridge plan as a kind of last resort to shift the extra weight quickly as my body is very slow due to illness)

Here is some inspiration from Tyson

You have some excellent advise here and please don’t feel shame just use this as your motivation.

Is it you or your DP that is the carrier of HD? The research coming through in the last couple of years has been phenomenal. They have been able to practically stop the progress of the gene itself. So please keep in touch with your GP as soon as any symptoms start to show. My uncle died from it a couple of years back and 2 of his kids have it the other hasn’t tested. For them it’s too late but for their kids (prob your generation) the future is looking much more promising.

Start the weight loss as mentioned, and maybe use the c25k to do some 5k runs next year to raise money for HDA so no one will have to go through the things you are going through now.

All the very best OP you must have so much going through your mind at the moment and the sooner they can stop this foul disease the better.

Hi Op, it might not feel like it but you can do this. It’s bloody hard, though. I’m a fair few years older than you and have finally found a diet that works having tried pretty much all of them several times over the years. 2 months ago I weighed much more than you and of today I’m celebrating shifting 31lb in about 2 months. What works for me is a combination of the 800 cal diet and fasting. I’ve cut out all crap except the occasional treat but I’m very careful with sugar. Once I get the taste of it I want more and the drive to eat and feel full is huge. I’ve learned my triggers and have managed to head off the many many times I’ve been about to self-sabotage. Seeing the scales drop each day or every other day is what keeps me going. Drink plenty of water to fill up your stomach. And just keep moving. I’ve been walking and trying to do a few miles each day. It means changing my routine, but it feels good when I’ve done it. I’ve still got a mountain to climb but I’m finally on the way. And you can too. In a month you can lose a stone. Good luck!

My game changer has been C25K (I cannot recommend it enough) and Pinch of Nom.

Weight has been coming off pretty quickly.

Aw op you’ve got this. I can see your motivation already. Download an app to count your calories, keep up the couch to 5k, and get weighed weekly or less. I didn’t have my first child until 32, so you’re only rush is your urge for a baby... it’s also your biggest motivator. Once you start to lose, you will be buzzing 😀 You’re still allowed the food you like, just in moderation. Good luck 💛

Read The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung and The Diet Fix by Dr Zoe Harcombe - both thoroughly researched and will help you to make informed choices, especially about how constructive calorie counting is and the impact of insulin.

I am sorry to hear this OP but hopefully you can get it in hand. Slimming World is a good option, I’ve not done it myself but I know lots of people who have had success. My Fitness Pal is excellent for calorie tracking also. I had some good results with Dukan but I think you should speak to your GP first.

I highly recommend SlimmingWorld. You never feel hungry, you never feel like you are missing out. This has been a big shock for you so make a plan of action. Couch 2 5k won’t do anything for you unless you are eating healthy. I joined slimming world in March, I was 13st6, size 16. I have lost 2.5 stone and now I’m size 12. It is so easy to follow, you just have to stick to it.

Try a weight loss group like slimming world. A lot of people think slimming world is the devil, but you do get that encouragement and we’re in it together mentally.
Just make sure you go for the healthy foods and not just eat fi-fi bars (or what ever they’re called).
It will probably take you a couple of years, with or with out a group. And you go through periods of not losing weight for ages, feel demoralised. Etc.

The British heart foundation has an excellent booklet on portion sizes as well.

Portion plates are available from amazon for a tenner and I’ve seen some in next for half the price.

Be willing to be in it for the long haul. You are still young, and this is an opportunity to get healthier.

I’ve also got a fit bit, but you can get good health watches for 20 pounds now. They pair with your phone and you can work out if you have done 10,000 steps or not.

I'm coming at this from a slightly different perspective. Look at the reasons why you have gained weight. Why do you overeat? How do you overeat... constantly through the day or bingeing?
Those behaviours are incredibly difficult to change but to get to a very high BMI there are often mental health problems fuelling it. The shame you are feeling is probably key.
I'd look into what counselling services there are in your area, you can often refer yourself. They can really help.