I feel so ashamed I need to do something

[ReadyToLoseThisJelly]

Had some results yesterday from the recurrent miscarriage clinic and they outlined some health reasons why I should have IVF.

Only issue is I can't have IVF until my bmi is 30 and it's currently 49 😳 I spent all day yesterday crying, but today I feel like thats not helpful?

I need to change but I don't know how. I'm 27 and I weigh 19 stone 7 pounds, I can't have a baby until I'm at least 13 stone, I know I did this to myself but I don't know where to start to get rid of it.

I started the couch to 5k thing today and nearly died! But I have to do this. I can't not do this. I've also downloaded les mills on demand to try and do some workouts at home?

I'm so ashamed I got myself into this mess.

This post was edited at OP's request

I think your husband needs to speak urgently to a genetic counsellor.

I very much recommend some kind of weight loss support community - you are not alone, you don't have to do this alone: IRL you have the well known groups like WW SW if you're interested in and can afford these kinds of 'plans' or check your local ymca gym and your GP - my GP has a practically free group in the surgery waiting room after hours.
Or an online community: Sparkpeople has a website and an app, there are forums focusing on specifics including losing weight to have a baby; Reddit has generics for weight loss like r/loseit and specific groups for individual methods like r/intermittentfasting or r/xxketo (female & keto), there are facebook groups and weightloss forums on mumsnet, join a couple, join them all, lurk or post daily, it's up to you.

As others have pointed out, exercise is good for you but you can't outrun a bad diet.

On a more personal level take care of yourself - get enough sleep, get enough nutrients (fruit/veg), forgive yourself (a minor slip is not a complete failure - don't let one chocolate biscuit become an excuse to eat tonnes of junk for a whole weekend), and consider speaking to a professional - perhaps though an employee assistance program or via your gp - about the Huntington's/miscarriage/weight and the guilt/shame you mentioned.

Ignore anyone who says you can only lose weight a certain way, we're all different you need to do what's right for you (for me it wasn't a specific plan/diet - but cutting out wheat and processed sugar AND sweeteners; for my ex the 5:2 diet worked - any food was fine within those limits; for my brother it was cutting down on alcohol - or more accurately the take-away he'd eat on the way home after he'd been drinking )

Plan for everyday, then plan for the what-ifs - what-if I forgot to take my pack-up to work, what-if I had to travel unexpectedly and had to chose from service-station food, what-if I hurt my ankle and could barely stand for a week, (what-if I won the lottery, what-if aliens made contact - make it fun not all doom and gloom!).

You can't change the past (how you reached your current weight) it's what you do next that matters!

If head the gene, he will develop it in later life. I’m sorry you didn’t realise this.

Sorry for the typo there-if he has the gene, he WILL develop Huntingdons

I did Cambridge to get pregnant then weight watchers

Couch to 5k is too hard for your weight. That sounds brutal but 4 months ago I was your weight and it’s not good.

Start by doing walks. Each day do a bit more. Get my fitness pal app and log everything you eat. Cut the processed crap but do allow some- be mindful. Each your minimum requirement calories.

You can do this. I’m now three stone lighter and life is SO MUCH EASIER.

Don’t go cold turkey on everything but be mindful. You want McDonald’s? Have it. But not every day. This isn’t dieting, it’s an utter change in lifestyle.

Seriously do long walks rather than running. You’re more likely to succeed by making small changes but keep making small changes - not one massive change in one go. This week aim for 3km a day walk. Next week 3.5 each day. That sort of small change. Get a fit bit.

Don’t do slimming world etc as it is doesn’t address a sustainable lifestyle. Weight loss should be gradual, sustainable and achievable. It’ll take a year probably. Maybe more. But it will be for good and you will to need to again.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Oh maybe I misunderstood. Now I feel like a twat. I'm going to ring up and see if they will explain again. They definitely said something about Huntington's. I switched off after that.

If DH has been through the testing process and tested positive for the mutant gene, he will go on to develop HD. If he tested negative, neither he or any future DC will inherit it - the line of the disease stops with DH's father.

I recently needed to lose weight quite quickly. My bmi was 45 and I was a size 16. I joined the gym and started jogging with the dogs for a start. I also tried the exante diet. I don’t normally recommend diets but for someone who needs to lose weight quickly, it really works. They do ready prepared meals and have quite a lot of choice for meal ideas. This was perfect for me because I don’t have the patience to calorie count every meal. So it works you can have 3 meal-replacement meals a day and one carb-free, light, dinner. The diet along with lots of water and gym/jogging, I managed to go down 2 dress sizes in around 6 weeks

So sorry to hear OP, I haven’t got much else to add on top of the advice here but just to say I’m thinking of you and i believe you can meet your goal

Hi OP

I am in the process of losing 4 stone, currently lost 2 stone of it

If you eat off a big plate, fill your plate with half veggies/salad

If I was eating something like lasagna or spag bol, I'd eat this on a smaller plate to control portion size

I took "before" pictures, measurements and weight, I only weighed myself every 2 weeks and only took a photo/measurement once a month

• I highlight this in bold because I think this was one of the most vital parts of my motivation and drive. I have tried to lose weight in the past and used to weigh myself every single day or even just once a week, and the lack of progress was so demoralising to me. I weigh myself once a month now I am more confident that I am actually losing weight

The biggest kick-start to me losing weight was going to the gym and exercising. I agree that weight loss is 80% diet, but the exercise made me want to eat healthy and didn't want it to be a waste. So I do think it is important to do some form of exercise, as it makes you mentally want to eat healthier (i hope that bit made sense)

@Readytolosethisjelly

Huntington’s disease is autosomal dominant. This means that if you have one faulty copy, it is dominant I.e. the disease will be present. Diseases in which having only one copy makes you a disease-free carrier are described as autosomal recessive.

So if your DH’s dad had huntington’s, your DH had a 50% chance of inheriting it and a 50% chance of avoiding it by getting his mum’s disease free version. But if he has passed it on to a foetus, then he must have inherited it and will therefore be affected by the disease at some point as there is no “carrier”-only status.

There is, however, a very rare situation when Huntington’s arises through a new mutation and no parent is affected, but this would seem to be less likely here when you already know it’s in the family.

So sorry, but it sounds as though you are all in need of genetic counselling. If your DH does have this, you will have to decide how far ahead you want to look/think about. Some people prefer to live in the here and now, and a good genetic counsellor will accept this but if the issue is Huntington’s you do have to understand it is about what will happen, not might.

On the weight issue, forget the exercise for now -it’s all about diet and I’m sure you’d do really well with the support of something like slimming world. As you get closer to your goal you can start exploring exercise. For now, good diet and perhaps just aiming for 10k steps is enough.

Loads of tough stuff happening for you, sorry, and good luck x

And btw, ignore all the dissing about SW. The strongest evidence in the weight loss world is not for any specific diet, but for a method with accountability. So find a group, SW/WW/whatever, and go to it!

Slimming World IS good.
It gives you discipline and the thought of being weighed every week helps with motivation.
You do what's right for you.
But you'll get there.

I'd start with the 7min workouts I found by Lucy Wyndham on You Tube as they're not too hard or intimidating if you're an exercise phobe like me but they get results quick. I do 2 of them a day, cut out cake, crisps, choc, fizzy drinks & had fruit whenever I craved a snack instead. I lost weight really quickly. 7mins is achievable and if you play your fave music while you do it, it's so easy. Good luck.

OP, I just wanted to wish you luck and support.

If it is the case that you've understood correctly I hope that maybe you can reframe an otherwise rubbish situation as the most brilliant motivation in the world and spin it positively to yourself that way!

Rooting for you.

Well done for starting today. You should be so proud of your self. Keep going, you 'll be fit and healthy in no time at all.

Just didn't want to read and run. Feel for you. I had ivf in the end, although not for the same reasons as you and it is all so stressful, and i didn't have to lose weight, so you have my sympathy. I wish you all the best, you already ARE changing, ditch the shame and gain back control. It will help you along. Yes you got into this shit, but comfort eating does that to you, and you will get yourself out. Learning to eat is basic. Carbs and sugars are my enemies. I lost a lot of weight by controlling them. Best of luck! At the end of it i hope you see your little babe and it all will have been worth it.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this, OP.

As someome with a lifelong weight problem I know how difficult it is to lose weight and keep it off. I'm also infertile (for a different reason) so I know how much it hurts to want a child and not be able to have one as easily as (almost) everyone else seems to.

For the last 9 months or so I have been losing weight reasonably steadily which was needed for other medical conditions - I have heart problems for which I had surgery and also kidney disease. If I don't get my weight down I won't be suitable for some kinds of dialysis which I may need fairly soon or considered for a transplant.

What I don't think anyone else has mentioned is fat-binding drugs such as Orlistat. I was put on these by the dieticians attached to the renal unit whom I have been seeing every couple of months and it definitely helps. You do have to keep to a low fat diet or you will get quite dramatic diahorrea but of course low fat will also help weight loss. I am still able to have a good portion of some kind of starch (my weakness) with each meal, some fruit or veg and small amounts of protein. If I want a ready meal I look at the "traffic lights" on them or the fat per 100g and I'm really not feeling over hungry or deprived of things I enjoy. Why not go and see your GP and ask if you could be put on Orlistat? He/she might also have other ways to help such as suitable exercise options - some areas have "Exercise on referral" schemes which is something I have also benefitted from.

Hi, I'm so sorry you are going through all this it must be so hard. I was just going to say i have lost a lot of weight doing the Fast800 which is quick and I use the my fitness pal app to help me. I struggled in the first few days but now it is quite easy. I bought the book for £5 off Amazon and have pushed myself to stick to it. My sister in law did intermittent fasting and lost 2 and 1/2 stone quite quickly as well.

Try Omad (One meal a day) but build up to it by skipping breakfast for couple of weeks first and then skip lunch. Join the Omad Facebook group and reserch on line.

This way of eating has changed my life. I don't crave food until I actually eat. Also I have so much energy. My skin has pinged back with no saggy loose skin. I really look foward to my evening meal and I keep an eye on my calories.

I lost two stone with Slimming World and then the next two with OMAD.

Keto. No calorie counting. High protein (i.e. meat. cheese, eggs all good), no fat limits, dairy ok, as much veg as you can manage - but a limit per day to a small potato-sized amount of ... potato, or any sweet or starchy food (bread, cake, strawberries, dried fruit, etc). Fat melts off. You'll never feel hungry. Don't cheat though.

No diet drinks or stuff - trick the liver into storing fat and trick your mind that you have made an effort so you then indulge to compensate!

Don’t feel ashamed or like a twat. The most important thing for now is to understand the situation with Huntington’s for your dh. If he does have the gene then the priority should be understanding what this means for him and you. Make sure to keep the contact details for the genetic counsellor and contact them when you need to as it is a huge amount to take in all at once.

I know it costs money but have you considered slimming world? I have just started and I find it great, you can still have some of the naughty stuff and you get good support from the groups. I believe there are free membership vouchers on their FB page right now.

also, don't be ashamed. I too have been referred for IUI and need to lose weight.