I feel so ashamed I need to do something

[ReadyToLoseThisJelly]

Had some results yesterday from the recurrent miscarriage clinic and they outlined some health reasons why I should have IVF.

Only issue is I can't have IVF until my bmi is 30 and it's currently 49 😳 I spent all day yesterday crying, but today I feel like thats not helpful?

I need to change but I don't know how. I'm 27 and I weigh 19 stone 7 pounds, I can't have a baby until I'm at least 13 stone, I know I did this to myself but I don't know where to start to get rid of it.

I started the couch to 5k thing today and nearly died! But I have to do this. I can't not do this. I've also downloaded les mills on demand to try and do some workouts at home?

I'm so ashamed I got myself into this mess.

This post was edited at OP's request

Please don't do a fad diet or expect to lose stones in weeks - it won't work long term.

Calorie counting is key. I've mentioned him before - James Smith Academy. No bullshit, just effort. You can join for free, you don't have to pay a single penny to access the calorie calculator (which will tell you how many calories a day you should eat to safely and sensibly lose weight), recipes and videos. Then download MFP and log everything you eat - weigh absolutely everything.

I'm also a big fan of Diren's method of NEATUP247 - you don't have to join a gym or run. Just get your steps up. Walk everywhere, dance around the kitchen, just keep moving.

I'm not linked to either of the above, but it's worked for me and many others.

@notapizzaeater that blood sugar diet sounds interesting, would you mind please giving a quick low down on it? Thanks!

I was over 18 stone when I first did C25k. I used an app that made my phone vibrate when it was time to change from walking to running and back. I found that helped rather than clock-watching along with everything else!

I also used Weight Watchers which is good for peer support and motivation.

You could try a food diary too - you need to be strict with yourself and make sure you make an entry every time you eat - thats the best way to spot patterns and make changes.

Lastly be kind to yourself! It's not only about losing weight, you need to stop feeling shame and start feeling proud that you're doing something about it.

You don't mention your partner... is he supportive? Would he join you for walks and encourage healthier choices at home?

@Jellybeansincognito

It's very basically a med diet, very low carbs, lots of good fats, protein, green veg and berries. There's groups on Facebook which are a source of great advice. I've not felt hungry or deprived 😊

You can do this! 1 lb at a time!!!

I cut out sugar and it not only made me lose weight (3st) but also made me feel better.

I also wanted to loose the weight for a reason. You could try asking yourself Every time you pick up a piece of unhealthy food do I really want this or do i want a baby more. Thats how i did it.

Best of luck

If you read one post on this thread, OP, read fontofnoknowledge's. What she has to say about the medical side of things is spot on.

And please, please get counselling for the Huntingdon's diagnosis - whether your own or your DH's - you will both need lots of support going forward.

Hi OP, what hard news to get. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages and your genetic tests.

You are only 27, which is great. You have time on your side, so don't panic.

With TTC and with IVF in particular, it is good to be a healthy weight so you have many motivations for this. Read the book It Starts with the Egg for some background. My Fitness Pal and basic calorie counting is probably the best place to start, or Weight Watchers/Slimming World groups could work for you in terms of some group motivation and encouragement. Good luck!

Both of my DC are IVF babies, it's not easy or a sure thing but it can happen.

I'm following the Michael Moseley blood sugar diet, I've found it relatively easy and have lost 3.5 stone in 12 weeks and still loosing each week.

^ i also did this. So easy to follow once you het into the swing of it.

I also want to say try not to be too down. I've been pregnant 7 times yet we only have 2 children. Emotional eating is so hard to stop. It’s a rocky road but so worth it in the end don’t let your weight be a barrier. You are in control.

I'd use MyFitnessPal pal and log every single thing. Start slowly and take your time.
This is something that you have complete control over and that you are doing for yourself. It's a very positive thing to lose weight if you feel very overweight. It's empowering. It doesn't need to cost anything either.

Slowly and surely is the way to go. It doesn't matter if it takes a long while. I'd start fairly slowly too just so you get in the habit of eating less. I'd start at 1300 calories and see how that works for weight loss. You might have to reduce it but you can see what the scales say.

Personally I would up my exercise but I would just do some brisk walks - mainly I would focus on diet.

How about joining somewhere like SlimmingWorld if you can afford it. I went recently as I had weight to lose and it's been really good for me. It's helped me focus on the types of food I should be eating and the weekly weigh-ins have been a real incentive. I know a lot of people like staying to the group after (mine was always busy) but I just don't have the time to do this however the times I did stay we're useful - people had little ideas to help you get over cravings, recipe ideas and just a shoulder to cry on if you needed it.
I know it's easy for me to say this but please be kind to yourself. You have a goal and a reason for it so keep focusing on the end result. You're also still young, I didn't have my first until 33

With TTC and with IVF in particular, it is good to be a healthy weight so you have many motivations for this. Read the book It Starts with the Egg for some background.

I read this and thought it was a title for a LC book! I’d recommend a LC diet like Fast 800 which will have fertility benefits too.

Good luck OP. There are specific forums for people having PGD IVF for HD that I’m sure will give you lots more specific information.

For those who suggested going private I’m assuming this isn’t an option for the OP as they’ll need PGD rather than simply IVF.

I've gone from 17st to 12st in a year with Slimming World, I know lots of women who are doing Slimming World to be able to do IVF

I just did the couch to 5k. It was great. I joined a free club to do it, there is no way I could have done it alone.

I booked into a session and in the weeks leading up to it I did a brisk walk for half an hour twice a day - that really helped.

The couch to 5k is really hard, but I went from nearly committing after running to the end of the driveway to completing four park runs so far😁

You can totally do this. Eat less move more, no silly drastic diet changes.

Good luck

@ReadyToLoseThisJelly - There is a great podcast series free on Audible: "tip the scales" which goes into some of the science and myths of weight loss. I found it really informative and motivating. It helps to take a step back from the massive industry of diets and focus on what might actually help you.

I would also recommend Brene Brown for her TED talks on shame. She also has a talk on netflix.

Be kind to yourself

Btw people saying 'no silly drastic diet changes' there is actually very little basis for the 'slow and steady' school of thought that weight loss is only sustainable long term if the weight came off slowly. In fact it seems initial weight loss is predictive of long term success. Sometimes drastic is what's needed to reboot the system and achieve the strong results that provide motivation to continue.

Couch to 5k is a brilliant place to start . It isn’t easy and it really doesn’t matter if it takes you longer than the 9 weeks . Lots of people combine it with Slimming World . Good luck OP .

Firstly, well done on acknowledging that you need to make a change - that's one of the hardest steps IMHO.

I've been 'eating healthily' (not dieting) since the beginning of the year and have lost 2 stone so far.

I've been looking at the saturated fat values of everything I buy and making better choices.

Someone else upthread suggested Pinch of Nom - I'd definitely recommend getting the recipe book. We make at least one meal from this each week, and they're so tasty that it definitely doesn't feel low fat.

We don't deny ourselves anything - a finger of fudge staves off the chocolate craving, and a small glass of wine is better than no wine at all!

I also go out for a walk at least a couple of evenings a week. I have several different routes, up to 5km, so which one I take depends on how knackered I am, but I figure that even a 15 minute walk is better than sitting on the couch for that time.

To be sustainable weight loss is not going to happen overnight and I truly believe that the changes you make need to reflect your lifestyle (we still go out for dinner occasionally, I just don't choose the creamy, cheesy sauces any more) so that the weight doesn't pile back on again when you get to your goal.

There have been weeks where I've lost loads, and the weeks where I haven't lost anything were initially hard, but I've come to realise that those weeks are positive too, after all, I haven't put on weight either!

Best of luck!

My advice is look at your lifestyle, so you can work out what type of diet /fitness regime is right for you.
I found replacing two meals a day with those "slimming shakes" worked well for me as it suited my circumstances and lifestyle. My DIl swears by Slimming World as it suits her, gets her out of house and she likes the social aspect of it.
I have had colleagues who went on the Cambridge diet and/or the lighterlife plan that relaced all meals because it suited their lifestyle.
I have done the 5:2 and found it effective because it suited my way of life at the time.
Look into all these ways of losing weight and work out what is best for you and what is easiest for you.
Finally with regard to exercise don't do anything too strenuous until you have lost a good bit of weight you don't want to damage your joints and give yourself problems in later life. Brisk walking for 30 minutes several times a week, and perhaps some swimming until you have lost sufficient to think about going to a gym.
Stop crying, you have the best reason to make sure you suceed.
Good Luck

dont be ashamed.shit happens.and start to see all the postivs in yourself first and foremost.think of your strength to have already gotten through so much.think of the lovely relationship that means you are wanting a child.think of the dermination weve seen in your post.that shows a pretty amazing and brave woman.food and your weight is not a judgement on who you are,it is the vehicle you travel your life in.
and thinking all this shit on yoruself will only perpetuate self blame over eating or emotional thoughts on food.
is there an exercise you like.could you have a pt session one that caters solely for you.
do you like walking?this is the perfct weather for getting out there.pack some lunch blanket and just get out there.
do you have trigger foods?do you have some favouirte healthy foods.
look into portion sizes.
dish out your meal then walk away from the kitchen with your plate.
savour all mouthfulls.make it bright and full of fruit and veg.make it exciting.
lots of grains and salads and good proteins.
but dont deprive or starve.95% of those diets dont work.you need to just single everything down to the right balance again.if your eating a nurtional right amoutn and exercising you WILL lose weight.
make a list of all the fruit and veggies you like then go and stock up.get some tupperwares and do some fruit salad and veggie combos for the fridge.
get some frozen veggie medleys.snack on them.
sugar free ice pops to grab when you need something too.
make these little changes.
im assuming you know what your doing wrong diet wise.portions?inbalance of high calories to low calroies foods?
you can do this
you are worth it
your not bad
you can be happy and health and a parent.you can.beleive in yourself.
but dont get guilt if you slip.think im ok we all stumble and i can go on.

Optifast would get you to los e weight fast. That’s what I did so I could do ivf.

Thank you all. It's come totally out of the blue

But OP surely they can’t have given you/DH a Huntington’s diagnosis completely out of the blue? Has anyone spoken to you about it? Is there a family history? This all seems very odd.

@bookworm14 my husbands dad had Huntington's but he doesn't have it, he carries the gene? If I'm honest it never occurred to me that he would also carry it. I can't tell you why.

Have either of you even gone through the genetic testing process? If there's no confirmed inheritance, I see no reason why a miscarriage would bring this to light.

There's 3 months of mandatory counselling involved in the testing process, which legally you must engage in before the bloods are taken.

Jelly, if your DH does NOT have the mutant gene, there's no chance that HD would have been passed on. It doesn't skip generations.

Has DH gone through the predictive testing process?