Misdelivered package - aibu to not let Dh return it to right address

[yarenbaren]

Recently my DH decided to work as an independent contractor. He still often works for his previous employer but is paid significantly more. It's worked well for us as it has coincided with the birth of our first child. Although DH has more free time we're still adjusting to the insecurity of our situation (especially as I'm currently on maternity leave).

Dh can be miserly e.g the other day I fancied having lunch by the river as the weather was perfect. DH reminded me of our "financial situation" and suggested we go the following week as "we had already been out plenty" that week. I agreed. I reminded myself we don't know where DH's next role will be and I'd prefer not to dip into our savings (we are planning a significant extension).

Anyway, a package has been delivered today but it was supposed to be sent to an address 4 miles away! Dh says he will drive it over later. Aibu to think DH is being totally hypocritical? I would prefer to let the delivery company deal with it. Why should we spend the petrol money (heavy box)? DH says it's the polite thing to do.

I want to be able to enjoy this time with our first baby and not have to worry about money. Despite earning a good amount DH has made me cut back but will happily throw money now for no reason. I know I am being petty as it's only going to cost us a few pence but it's the principle. Aibu?

(it's mostly national speed limit/winding country roads to the address)

Yabu

Well yes your being petty.

Unless it’s a fridge not sure why being a heavy box matters?

4 miles of petrol is nothing is most cars compared to a lunch out for 2.

Sometimes I’m life we do something like this because it’s nice and good karma and all that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Take it to the post office and mark as not at this address

I don't think you can compare the situation, going out costs a lot more than cooking at home so it's a good idea not to go out if you're saving money, dropping a package off is really kind and maybe your DH could drop it off on the way to somewhere.

Next time picnic as a cost-conscious compromise. And it's nice to drop the parcel off, it may be urgent.

I would get your DH to ring the courier company first and flag up what has happened regardless. Unless there is a phone number for the recipient on the label so he can arrange a mutually convenient time to deliver he needs to get the courier company to sort it out. However, it can be more convenient to just take the parcel than wait in for the courier to call and retrieve it.

yab a bit u, given the circumstances,esp if it can be done along side other errands.

YABU and very petty.

By the time you've probably got through to the courier over the phone you're DH probably could've been there and back.

I know driving it over and having lunch out is not like for like. But I'm annoyed as despite being reasonably comfortable DH is making me count every penny but is to spend petrol money for a perfect stranger.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't care but his decision to work as a contractor has caused him to be stingy but only when it suits him.

The address is totally out of the way.

Your husband is not miserly in suggesting you go out next week rather than this week.

He's very kind to offer to take the parcel to the correct address.

Your husband is right to count every penny and he's right to deliver the package. It's four miles, ffs. Unless you're driving a tank, barely any petrol will be used.

NoBaggyPants - I disagree. I wanted to sit in the sunshine with my baby and husband but Dh suggested it wasn't a good idea. At most we would have spent £50. Which we can afford. I have made sound decisions and worked hard in order to enjoy this time and splurge a little.

YABU for the reasons listed, but YANBU about delivering the package. It’s up to the courier or buyer to collect it. Do you have enough room to store it?

Are you the poster who posted about a £400 pot of moisturiser recently?

It's eight miles there and back.

I don't want to count every penny when we don't have to. This is a special time and we can afford to enjoy ourselves.

NoBaggyPants - good memory, yes I said I personally believe it is worth the money. I am allowed to spend my hard-earned money however I please. (I bought that product before falling pregnant with my first child)

The parcel's owner is probably going bonkers trying to find out where their parcel is and having the hassle of either trying to get a refund or re-arrange a new delivery. I know what it's like when the courier screws up. Just do the right thing and let DH take it over. YABVU.

If things are insecure then splurging is never a good idea. Much better to keep a rainy day fund until things settle.

He isn’t being unreasonable for driving a short distance to be kind. 8 miles fuel isn’t going to cost that much

I get it OP, my husband can be like this. I get told off for an impulse buy at Aldi yet a whole bunch of crap has arrived today after bloody Amazon Prime Day.

I know its great he's careful, especially as I'm... not. But I think there is a healthy middle ground to be found.

I'm on mat leave too, adjusting to not being financially independent for the first time

I'm with NoBaggyPants. It's not miserly at all to say he didn't want to spend £50 on lunch out when his income is less secure. Plus he sugested you go the following week, not never!

It will cost pennies in petrol to do an 8 mile round journey. It's not even slightly comparable. Unless you have a massive dripfeed coming, YABU.

Your attitude to spending is alarming. You stated yourself your current situation is insecure, and trust me, things could go badly. Be frugal and be happy you have savings in case of an emergency. You can sit in the sun with your family without spending £50.

I know the car journey and a pub lunch are not comparable but it's the principle.