Misdelivered package - aibu to not let Dh return it to right address

[yarenbaren]

Recently my DH decided to work as an independent contractor. He still often works for his previous employer but is paid significantly more. It's worked well for us as it has coincided with the birth of our first child. Although DH has more free time we're still adjusting to the insecurity of our situation (especially as I'm currently on maternity leave).

Dh can be miserly e.g the other day I fancied having lunch by the river as the weather was perfect. DH reminded me of our "financial situation" and suggested we go the following week as "we had already been out plenty" that week. I agreed. I reminded myself we don't know where DH's next role will be and I'd prefer not to dip into our savings (we are planning a significant extension).

Anyway, a package has been delivered today but it was supposed to be sent to an address 4 miles away! Dh says he will drive it over later. Aibu to think DH is being totally hypocritical? I would prefer to let the delivery company deal with it. Why should we spend the petrol money (heavy box)? DH says it's the polite thing to do.

I want to be able to enjoy this time with our first baby and not have to worry about money. Despite earning a good amount DH has made me cut back but will happily throw money now for no reason. I know I am being petty as it's only going to cost us a few pence but it's the principle. Aibu?

(it's mostly national speed limit/winding country roads to the address)

You could have sat in the sunshine in your garden or in a park without dropping 50 quid. Yabu about the parcel as well, you spend 400 on moisturiser and begrudge him spending a couple of quid on petrol. Not cool

And if you have a habit of spaffing £400 on on frivolities like over-priced moisturiser, it's no wonder he's trying to put a brake on your spending.

Why couldn't you make a picnic and go for a walk and lunch by the river ?? You sound very petty and materialistic to me.........you don't have to spend money to have a nice day.

I feel sorry for your partner, he's trying to juggle finances and cut back to be on the safe side and you aren't on board at all.

I bought the moisturiser before falling pregnant when a mortgage was the only financial responsibility Dh and I had. Absolutely unfair to bring it up now.

So,

1. your dh currently has 100% responsibility with bringing in new money, and his job is insecure. He is conscious that he has a family now and one less income.
2. He wants to do a really nice thing for a stranger.

Yabvu. I feel very sorry for him tbh.

I would also let the company know what has happened with regard the parcel. It has been delivered to your address, and even if you deliver it to the rightful owner, they could say they didn't receive it and the onus would be on you to prove it.

*I'd let the courier company collect and redeliver.g
Purely for the fact that if he does take it to them, what will prevent them from saying you kept it?

This. Do NOT take the parcel to them. I speak from experience of trying to be helpful and finding out that the intended recipient was an opportunistic, immoral arsehole.

I don't think it's irrelevant at all. It's a sign that you're not very careful with money/are used to excessive spending.

YABU!!! Unless you drive some gas guzzling car, you realise that 8 mile round trip will cost about £1.

Would your lunch out cost that much or more?

Stop being miserable when your DH is trying to secure your financial future.

Pennies on an 8mile trip to be a decent human being versus £50 because you fancied lunch in the sunshine.
Not really comparable and you're being hugely unreasonable.
I suspect a massive dripfeed coming though...

I wanted to sit in the sunshine with my baby and husband

Why do you have to spend money to do that? Eat at home, then go to the river.

You're talking about a $50 lunch vs. how much in gasoline? $1? $2?

£400 on a moisturiser??!!!!! misses point of thread

He wants to do a nice thing and you don’t want him to because it will use a spoonful of petrol? Meanwhile you think £50 for a midweek lunch and £400 for a pot of face cream’s OK. It’s another world.

YANBU at all.

To a friend or colleague - OK.

Next door or in the neighbourhood- OK.

Drop off on the way to somewhere you were going in any case, like work or Tesco - OK.

But just randomly, to a stranger, out of your way? No.

The delivery company will have procedures to deal with this. Let them get on with it.

Why didn’t you suggest having a picnic lunch then. I’m struggling to see how a simple lunch would be £50. Not at all comparable with travelling eight miles.

Think how you would feel if a parcel you expected was delivered wrongly a few miles away and no one bothered to try to get it to you.

A picnic sounds a great compromise.

Maybe on the way to dropping off the parcel...

I don't think it's irrelevant at all. It's a sign that you're not very careful with money/are used to excessive spending

How can you say that? You don't know a thing about how I prioritise my finances.

You're being ridiculous, it's going to cost very little to do an 8 mile round trip.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't care but his decision to work as a contractor has caused him to be stingy but only when it suits him.

I agree you need to tackle that. But I’m not sure the parcel is the right item to go about.
I do get why it annoys though. When it looks right for your DH to do xxx, then it will happen but somehow a small amount you are spending isn’t NG.
And 8 miles return journey will costs about £4 + cost if his time (as a contractor, how much does he pay himself per hour?) Has your DH being unhappy about you spending that sort of money before?

Sorry for mentioning moisturiser. Photographic memory for ridiculous spending posts.

£400 on moisturiser? Bloody hell. Years ago there was a programme and the results were there was no difference in results when using a £30 moisturiser or a £2 one other than £28. £400 is ridiculous.

But odd. It's a few pence on petrol,he was doing a nice thing, and you said you'd been out plenty that week, so clearly not miserly.

You come across like a petulant child. Stamping their foot if they don't get what they want, like the little girl in Charlie and the chocolate factory. Do you turn purple too?

Btw, to the people who say that it will cost about £1 to do the journey, this is t the case.
HMRC makes the calculation with £0.45 per mile (as you also need to factor the wear and tear etc etc). So that will be about £4 assuming he doesn’t get lost looking for a place he doesn’t know.

And then there is the cost of him doing the trip. As he is self employed, what is his hourly rate? Is it worth for him to spend that time going somewhere he doesn’t need to go (delivery company should sort it out!) rather than on his own business?

To be honest OP learning to live within your means is the best you can do in regards to being financially independent.

Now you have a baby does it not make sense to combine finances? So all income goes in the pot then after bills are paid, savings and food/‘housekeeping’ money set aside then you and DH have an agreed amount of ‘pocket money’ to spend as you please?

How utterly mean spirited