To leave my baby in the car?

[SeeWhoRustsFirst]

OK - I know your first thought - I am being U. Bear with me.

On the way back from playgroup today I stopped at a village shop to use the cashpoint. The parking spaces are directly along the outside wall, the cashpoint is about twelve paces away but just around the corner of the building. Owing to a) the fact that baby had just finally gone to sleep and b) the fact that the two cars either side were parked so badly I could barely get my doors open, I decided to leave baby in the car. I knew there was no queue for the machine, and I only wanted to get some cash. (ie. not top up my phone, or check my balance, or nip into the shop for anything.. etc). I was around the corner almost certainly less than a minute.

On my return, TWO people had a go at me. One just said 'it was dangerous' and one said 'someone could have snatched baby through the window'. (The front window was slightly less than half open, the back window next to the car seat was closed).

So go on Mumsnet - how was I unreasonable? Do normal people actually believe the world is filled with very speedy baby-stealing contortionists? I drove away feeling pretty confused, and quite upset really.

I would and have done the same.
IMO that’s no different to leaving your kids in the car when you go to pay for petrol (which I’ve done hundreds of times)

But be prepared to be told you’re unreasonable and an unfit mother by the perfect parenting brigade who will be along shortly

They are over reacting. If baby is in your crick neck sight line, there is no problem. Only on MN did I discover people unstrap herds of toddlers and shepherd them across petrol forecourts in the pissing rain when they go in to pay. No one but no one ever in RL does these things. No one.

Although I can see where they were coming from I'm on the fence and not sure if I would do it myself.
I live in Australia and the law here is if you're filling up petrol in your car and go to pay, you have to take your kids out of the car and take them with you to pay. Now "back in my day" my parents just locked the car and went to pay and we were fine but just so I don't get in trouble or someone doesn't smash the window I would take my baby out of the car!
So will have to say you were sort of being unreasonable 🙂

This is one of those things that always gets a mixed response on Mumsnet. I have never left dd in the car, even for a second and I wouldn't dream of doing it, but I know myself I can be a bit paranoid about things. However I think it was rude of the people to confront you and question your parenting choices if it was as you described, you were only a minute and it wasn't roasting hot.

I wouldn't risk it. A relative did something similar, someone stole the car, and crashed it, and ran away, the child had a couple of nasty injuries.

@TP93 - but we arent in Australia. Australian laws, bylaws, legislation do not apply in the UK

Not something I would do but I also don't judge you. You obviously made the best decision based on your constraints. I probably would have asked DH to get cash if he was passing a cashpoint on his way home.

if i can see the car at all times i leave the windows cracked and go to the shop/cash machine and leave DC in the car. if its cold enough to safely have windows shut i will pop into the shop (bread and milk, not whole weekly shop!) if the car is slightly out of sight.

Very quiet village location.

I had someone make a comment once, i spun it around by putting on a big smile and saying 'thank you for checking on [baby], i was just there getting cash out so only a couple of minutes but its great to be in a community where people still look out for each other' - hard for them to come back at that in a negative way.

I do the same. I have two under two, I'm not bloody carrying the two of them or getting them strapped in to a buggy for a cash point a few foot away from the car. I'd have cash and be back in faster that I could even get them out

No - it's sunny here (hence front windows open a bit) but the spaces were shady. OMG to Australia's petrol rule! I always try to use the pay at pump ones here, but sometimes they are out of order and I've never taken her in just to pay - you can see the car the whole time from the checkout queue?!

I don’t think it’s wrong. Probably wouldn’t have done it myself but wouldn’t judge you

Have left the baby in the car to get cash, but parked next to the cash point. Wouldn't leave my baby in a car around a corner where I couldn't see him. But he kindly obliges by waking up every time the car stops anyway 🤷‍♀️
Rule I've given myself is I wont leave him in the car, anywhere I wouldn't leave my handbag on the front seat. Works for me.

Although I'd love to see someone try and smash and grab him out of the car, he's a lump.

I don't judge you but I'm a catastrophist so unless I could keep my eye the car at all times I wouldn't have done it.

sar thats a good rule of thumb!

I wouldn’t leave mine in the car to go into a shop and I only use pay at the pump petrol stations.

But I would have done what you did.

Although I must admit I am a little sceptical that you were as close as you say you were, if two people separately felt the need to say something

Great comeback, SheBreathedNearMe - I was a bit too to respond much at all! Yes, this is a quiet village location - kind of place where people still leave doors unlocked - I think that's why it took me back a bit! Good to know I'm not the only one, anyway, phew!

@sar302 funnily enough I think my handbag WAS on the front seat actually! lol

I find it odd that 2 people noticed in the time frame you’ve said! Do people go round looking inside other people’s cars? I don’t. But anyway, I think YANBU, I’d have done the same.

I haven't left DS in the car and I wouldn't. I'm too paranoid something would happen e.g. car stolen, DS sick and chokes, fire etc etc

AndBreathe - yes, I thought someone might say that. Genuinely, I was, but I do wonder if the people commenting thought I'd been in the shop. I wasn't carrying any shopping on my return, which ought to have been a giveaway, but perhaps that's what they thought.

Well if the baby was sick and choking whilst you were driving then in 9 situations out of 10 you wouldn't be able to stop and get to them more quickly than me returning from the cashpoint, but yes I take your point and I hadn't really considered that.

@meltedicicle, I think it was because person A was parked next to me and was struggling to get into her car. She probably alerted person B.

you can see the car the whole time from the checkout queue?!

I guess that's not necessarily enough - if something did happen, however unlikely, you might not make it back in time. You'd have seen it, but you couldn't necessarily do anything about it.

@Anchor, yes that's true. although I struggle to imagine the type of catastrophe that could reasonably escalate in the ten seconds it would take me to reach the car. I suppose I just wonder how generally anxious and paranoid you would make yourself if you truly tried to mitigate risks as minuscule as that.