To leave my baby in the car?

[SeeWhoRustsFirst]

OK - I know your first thought - I am being U. Bear with me.

On the way back from playgroup today I stopped at a village shop to use the cashpoint. The parking spaces are directly along the outside wall, the cashpoint is about twelve paces away but just around the corner of the building. Owing to a) the fact that baby had just finally gone to sleep and b) the fact that the two cars either side were parked so badly I could barely get my doors open, I decided to leave baby in the car. I knew there was no queue for the machine, and I only wanted to get some cash. (ie. not top up my phone, or check my balance, or nip into the shop for anything.. etc). I was around the corner almost certainly less than a minute.

On my return, TWO people had a go at me. One just said 'it was dangerous' and one said 'someone could have snatched baby through the window'. (The front window was slightly less than half open, the back window next to the car seat was closed).

So go on Mumsnet - how was I unreasonable? Do normal people actually believe the world is filled with very speedy baby-stealing contortionists? I drove away feeling pretty confused, and quite upset really.

Jeezoh What’s the difference though? Ops car was out of view, if she popped into a shop rather than go to the cash point in the same spot, would it suddenly not be ok to go in the shop? Even though visibility of the car is still the same?

Some people take an age at a cash machine, drives me mad.

Jelly beans, I guess you don't leave your kid in a cot upstairs, ever, then?

I've done similar OP.

I find a pp's reference to the McCanns quite unpleasant and it doesn't add anything useful to the thread.

Would most definitely leave baby in the car as long as I could see the car !!

SeeWhoRustsFirst Tell that to the parents of children who are missing within their stolen vehicle because they left it out of view for a minute.

Corner shops can be minutes away, but the OP was 12 steps away from her car... closer than my wheelie bin from my lounge, and I leave my awake, crawling baby while I take my rubbish out.

I also leave my 6 year old while I walk to the corner shop (about 15 minutes for the whole trip). Neither he or the house has spontaneously combusted yet.

Cars are not ‘often’ stolen with children inside. In twenty years as a reporter I’ve not covered a single such incident.

Everything we do is a calculated risk. Crossing the road. Going outside. Eating a sausage.

You have to balance trying to live a normal life with the risk of something bad actually happening, which in your case is practically zero OP. I’d have done the same as you.

SeeWhoRustsFirst Yeah I do, but I’m downstairs? It’s not like I’m leaving the house to a distance that makes it out of view whilst I get cash.

I would totally have done the same OP & have done in the past but you will be flamed on here as most MN posters seem to drag their kids everywhere with them.

If the OP had left their engine running, car unlocked with the keys in the ignition then there would have been the possibility of someone stealing it. No opportunistic car thief is going to target a locked vehicle outside of a corner shop where the owner will more than likely be back within minutes, let alone one with a kid in the back 🙄

The drama some people look for in life baffles me.

well, words fail me at your logic tbh jelly beans, but alright. Thanks for your opinion anyway, though you haven't convinced me that what I did carried any reasonable risk.

"the cashpoint is about twelve paces away but just around the corner of the building. "

So the cashpoints are on the other side of the building? To the car spaces.

So you can't see the car?

SeeWhoRustsFirst It’s not just about risk. How old is your child?

In other situations it’s not ok to leave a child unattended and out of view in public, what makes this ok to you? And why ask if you’re going to berate me for disagreeing?

I'd do it! I leave them for petrol too.

So much of this is about perception though. in my old flat, I would never have left the DC to go to the corner shop, which was less than 20 seconds walk away. it just didn't feel right.
However, I now live in a house with a very long drive. when I put my bins out, I have to take them to the bottom of the drive. its further than going to the shop was, but because it's still my property, no-one would have a problem and no other bugger is going to take my bins out for me

You can’t compare this to paying for petrol either, your car was out of view in these circumstances.
That’s what I am disagreeing with.

what else is it about if it isn't about risk?! And I'm not asking about other situations, I'm asking about this one! At any rate, as I already said, thanks for your opinion...

I genuinely worry that the more posts like this and the more scaremongering there is people are going to forget common sense altogether and need the nanny state more than ever. It's called reasonable risk. Social services wouldn't be interested in this so it's up to you to decide. Forget other people's opinions, it's too limiting.

Aren’t you cocky 😒. Enjoy your day!

YANBU.
Unless it was a ragingly hot day and you were parked in the sun and were gone for more than 5 minutes, which you weren't, then they were over-reacting.

But. It's nice they cared.

Tbf, the passers by have no idea how long you were away, and it’s a really hot day with no wind.

I use pay at the pump if my DS is with me.

I think you did everything “right” in the circumstances seeing as you could see your DC the whole time.

Nearly everyone does this! Yanbu. If the child is sleeping what are you supposed to do. It's not worth waking them up and getting them out the car for 30 seconds at a cash point. A 5 - 10 minute Tesco dash is a bit different.
I've literally just left my sleeping baby in the car for about 20 seconds while I nipped in the house to turn the hot water off.

I was once absolutely hauled over the coals by two women for leaving my pram at one end of a post office /general store while I queued at the other end with a parcel. Apparently anything could have happened, and they didn’t know what parents these days were coming to.

I’d been about to thank them for keeping baby DS amused while his father stood idly (and invisibly?) next to him looking bored.

Come to think of it, maybe he was the hazard they were worried about.

@GaryWilmottsTeeth , genuinely just out of interest, would you not even put the bins out when they're asleep (ie. inside, out of sight?). I agree if they're awake to come with you btw.

Probs going to be annihilated but I don't think you did anything wrong.

Ignore them - it's a one off. I'm sure it was fine!