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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave my baby in the car?

169 replies

SeeWhoRustsFirst · 16/07/2019 13:43

OK - I know your first thought - I am being U. Bear with me.

On the way back from playgroup today I stopped at a village shop to use the cashpoint. The parking spaces are directly along the outside wall, the cashpoint is about twelve paces away but just around the corner of the building. Owing to a) the fact that baby had just finally gone to sleep and b) the fact that the two cars either side were parked so badly I could barely get my doors open, I decided to leave baby in the car. I knew there was no queue for the machine, and I only wanted to get some cash. (ie. not top up my phone, or check my balance, or nip into the shop for anything.. etc). I was around the corner almost certainly less than a minute.

On my return, TWO people had a go at me. One just said 'it was dangerous' and one said 'someone could have snatched baby through the window'. (The front window was slightly less than half open, the back window next to the car seat was closed).

So go on Mumsnet - how was I unreasonable? Do normal people actually believe the world is filled with very speedy baby-stealing contortionists? I drove away feeling pretty confused, and quite upset really.

OP posts:
Derbee · 16/07/2019 14:09

There’s no clear answer here. I certainly wouldn’t have done it, but I also don’t think YWBU

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 16/07/2019 14:09

When our DC were little my friend and I used to use the

"how would it read as a headline in the daily mail"
when we made decisions like this...

it's quite good fun making up potential catastrophising headlines for various scenarios...

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 16/07/2019 14:09

I live in a village where babies are left at the front of the shop so YWNBU. Mind you, it's a tight knit village with many eyes on your kids at all times. There's no way in hell someone wouldn't step in if something was to happen.

Yabbers · 16/07/2019 14:10

Yes she could have been snatched, or could have been sick, or could have been hit by a passing meteorite.

But, the risk of these things are so incredibly low, the OP was actually risking her child more as she drove along the road with her.

I would have smiled politely at the rude, interfering women and thanked them for their thoughts. Then immediately forgotten them.

Nesssie · 16/07/2019 14:12

YANBU I would have done the same

SeeWhoRustsFirst · 16/07/2019 14:13

Thanks everybody for the thoughts. I shall go on my way reassured that I am at least not too much of a worse mother than is quite average Grin

OP posts:
SmartPlay · 16/07/2019 14:17

If you went around the corner, that means you couldn't see the car? In that case: No, I wouldn't leave my baby in there.
I also understand the 2 ladies - they've seen a baby alone in a car and no parent. Being concerned and alarmed about that is a good thing which has saved many children's lifes.

Pipandmum · 16/07/2019 14:19

I’ve been watching Call the Midwife with my daughter and she can’t believe people used to leave their kids outside shops and outside their front doors for ages ‘to get some air’!
I would probably have parked illegally near the atm, but I don’t think you were unreasonable. However I have had to tell a friend that she absolutely could not leave her sleeping toddler alone in a car parked around the corner while she went out to lunch in Camden!!!

SeeWhoRustsFirst · 16/07/2019 14:26

out to lunch?! Shock that's next-level and then some! Yes, I still know plenty of people who leave their kids outside in prams. But then I have only ever lived in very rural areas so that's probably the difference - I certainly wouldn't do that if I lived in a city centre or even suburbia. Incidentally, there was no parking closer (road only passes the front of the shop), though I can't imagine the baby being safer by me having parked illegally to be honest!

OP posts:
woodhill · 16/07/2019 14:28

No yanbu perfectly fine imo.

EssentialHummus · 16/07/2019 14:28

Like a PP I'd have stopped (illegally even) next to the cash point so the car was in sight.

Asta19 · 16/07/2019 14:28

Don't worry OP. I only recently found out my wonderful mum and dad used to spend evenings in the pub, leaving me in the car, at less than a year old! Then they would drive home drunk! It's a wonder I am here to tell the tale.

Ok that's an extreme example, and not something I would recommend, but people are more "risk averse" these days. From what you describe I'd imagine you'd be gone for 1 minute at most, so no you did nothing wrong.

Jellybeansincognito · 16/07/2019 14:29

A friends neighbours car spontaneously combusted recently due to an electrical fault- literally went up in flames. I’d never leave a child in a car unless I was literally stood right outside it. Not just for risk of fire or theft, but would you leave them in any other scenario? No.

Jellybeansincognito · 16/07/2019 14:30

Your car wasn’t in sight, it’s as bad as leaving your kid home alone and popping to your corner shop imo.

People do that too! x

cdtaylornats · 16/07/2019 14:31

Has any child in the UK ever been stolen from a car?

berghg1710 · 16/07/2019 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SlowMoFuckingToes · 16/07/2019 14:35

Naw not if I couldn't see the car and not in this heat. Brits are awful at judging how hot a car can get and just how fast it happens. In the winter and if I could see the car then fine.

speakout · 16/07/2019 14:35

You could have been arrested OP.

Jellybeansincognito · 16/07/2019 14:36

cdtaylornats Cars are often stolen with children inside.

SeeWhoRustsFirst · 16/07/2019 14:36

er... well popping to a corner shop would take about 20 times longer, so not sure how that's the same, but OK. And a parked car combusting in under a minute? Even if I believed that to be literally possible (which, unless it's covered in petrol, I don't, sorry)... well then that's a reason not to GET IN a car ever, surely, not just a reason not to leave a baby in there?!

cdtaylornats - that's what I've been wondering!

OP posts:
Kungfupanda67 · 16/07/2019 14:38

Your car wasn’t in sight, it’s as bad as leaving your kid home alone and popping to your corner shop imo.

😂 how ridiculous

Jellybeansincognito · 16/07/2019 14:39

SeeWhoRustsFirst I don’t really know why you’ve posted? You clearly think leaving a minor alone out of view is ok?

Jeezoh · 16/07/2019 14:39

I’ve done similar with a similar sounding set up, it’s about the limit of my recklessness and nowhere near the same as leaving kids home alone to pop to a shop Hmm

Jellybeansincognito · 16/07/2019 14:39

Kungfupanda67 I’ve seen people do it! They don’t care, for similar reasons as op doesn’t I guess.

(Corner shops can be minutes away)

SeeWhoRustsFirst · 16/07/2019 14:40

I'm trying to imagine the amount of police officers you would need in order to arrest everyone who left their sleeping child for 1 minute...

OP posts:
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