WIBU to tell a 6yo old how babies are born...?

[Rictusempra]

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant, and niece, who is 6, naturally asked lots of questions. One of which being "How does the baby come out?"
to which I replied "Oh I have to push really hard, and the baby will come out of my vagina" Niece nodded, un-phased and then asked "Can we call him Storm if its a boy?!" and prattled on (as 6yos do) about "if it's a girl, can we called it Flower.... or Elsa etc"

DH was shocked and said I should have just responded "oh, the doctors help take the baby out" as apparently that was "too much information" and she might not know what a vagina is...

So, was I being unreasonable?

Watching. 5 year old came home with school report - her 'targets', which she set herself are

1. read more
2. do more "mafs"
3. find out how babies are made (FML)

Those sort of conversations are best guided by parents, IMHO. Im with your DH, you are massively over stepping boundaries. ... and you might not be correct .... "Oh I have to push really hard, and the baby will come out of my vagina" or you have an emergency c/section .....

Of course tell the truth. In an age appropriate way. Your DH needs to unclench a bit. I bought DD5 a boooked by Babette Cole called ‘mummy laid an egg’. It’s very helpful. But yes I just answered questions simply and truthfully in an age appropriate way.

It's basic biology. Children are never too young for basic biology.

www.amazon.co.uk/Mummy-Laid-Egg-Picture-Books/dp/0099299119/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?s=gateway&keywords=mummy+laid+an+egg&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1563274037&sr=8-1

Buy this book! Perfect for under 8s curious about the birds and the bees.

I think your DH is being silly. There's nothing weird or gross in knowing babies come out through vaginas. Better than them thinking they come out like poo.. you didn't go into horrendous detail, I think you're fine.

Sorry, cross post with @Ploppymoodypants

Course you did the right thing! Why make it a "thing" by saying she should ask mum and dad?

As she demonstrated - kids like truth, facts and simplicity. Then off she went onto something else.

My 4 year old daughter knows about periods, sperm and eggs, where babies come out etc. Just answer every question honestly. Dont see how that could ever be wrong

At 6 your niece should know what a vagina is. She has one. And if her parents haven’t told her, I think that’s letting her down a bit. It’s hen correct word for that body part and it’s important they know the real words. It forms part of their protection against abuse and helps with potential medical issues etc.

I think you explained well, but I would probably check with the parents before answering!

I'm generally all for age appropriate openness BUT this is not your child and therefore not your call to make.

You should've given an unlikely to cause issues answer like your partner says re Drs will help or referred her back to her parents.

Because they know what info she can cope with plus if there had been follow up questions its their role and their decision-

What would you have said if she'd then asked how the baby got IN there?

Not your child, not your call.

Mine all knew the basics from about 4, but that was my call, I wouldn't have been happy with someone else deciding to tell them without consulting me.

Tbh while I would tell my own child the truth not all parent think this way so I think you where bu to tell another persons child this. I would be annoyed if it was my child you told this as I wouldn’t have said it in the same way you did. My child hasn’t asked these questions yet so wouldn’t even know what the word vagina ment which is why I would want o be the one to answer her questions as I would know what she already knows and only tell her how much I want her to know at a young age.

Your niece or your husband's niece? I ask because may influence how well each of you knows the parents' wishes.

I'd answer honestly. But I've checked with the parents of my nieces and nephews that they are happy with me explaining such things simply, using anatomical words etc. when I'm looking after their kids Or if they'd prefer euphemisms or for me to demure.

"Those sort of conversations are best guided by parents, IMHO. Im with your DH, you are massively over stepping boundaries. ... and you might not be correct .... "Oh I have to push really hard, and the baby will come out of my vagina" or you have an emergency c/section ....."

So, assume parents aren't there, what would you have said in response?

I didn't think it appropriate to mention C-Sections, as she is a bit... squeamish and me saying "Oh, the doctors might have to cut my stomach open and take the baby out if I can't push it out."

Mine would have known by 6 and certainly we don't do cutesy names for sex or body parts - no "special hugs" and seeds in this house but this wasn't your child. Now if my sisters child had asked me I'd be pretty sure that my sister would be grand if I gave her the same answer as you did but I wouldn't be 100% sure and I don't know if I'd take that decision for another parent. In the same way I keep my eye rolls to myself when I hear kids talk about the Easter bunny, tooth fairy and Santa past a certain age.

"Mine all knew the basics from about 4, but that was my call, I wouldn't have been happy with someone else deciding to tell them without consulting me."

so,what would have your response been to the question?

So, assume parents aren't there, what would you have said in response?

The doctors help to take the baby out - is the perfect answer really.

Sounds perfectly fine to me. It's not like telling them about sex, which I do think needs to be done by parents/with parental guidance.

There’s nothing wrong with telling a 6 year old the truth about how babies are made/born but I do think it should be the parents who decide at that age. FWIW, my eldest found out when she was 4 and her brother was born (she asked).

YANBU but I would mention what you've said to her parents so they can prepare for any follow up questions.

My kid is 3. I told her about how it all works when she asked how her brother would get here. I'm not into this stork or other BS. As someone has said, it's biology, it's how our bodies work, and children can be told about that. It seems it's your husband the one that needed telling as a kid so he doesn't feel uncomfortable about it!

@Rictusempra - I'd have ignored it, then told her mother she was asking questions. I've seen silly fallouts on this forum for much less that that. I'm with your DH and 'Doctors take it out' - then let the parents decide how to appropriately discuss this.

You dont think appropriate to mention c/sections

If question is asked when parents not there you could always say speak to your mum and dad instead. But I do think it's fine the way you've phrased it. Accurate but too graphic or scary for an interested 6 year old.