Too feel a little upset with my sister in law?

[teenmum18]

This is really bugging me and I need to know if I was in the wrong here.

Last Monday my 2 DD's were sick just the once.
Nothing else after that and they were perfectly fine.

Friday we travelled to my db and sil to visit them. They have a 5yo and 6 week old twins.

Whilst we were there my dd5 went white as a sheet and said her belly hurt. Took her to the toilet and she had a really runny belly.
After 10 mins she perked up and we left about 30 minutes after.
Later on in the evening dd had a few more diarrhoea episodes and went to bed. But dd2 woke up early hours in the morning and vomited but since then both have been fine.

My mum was on the phone to db this morning and he told her that they had all been sick since our visit. DN5 wouldn't speak to my mum on the phone and kept screaming every time she spoke to him. Sil got on the phone and said that "that little girl had brought the sick bug down to them" meaning my dd.
My mum explained that I wouldn't of taken the kids to see them if they was poorly, and that they'd been sick once 4 days before the visit. My mum was pretty pissed off when she phoned me this morning because it sounded like they'd all been talking (sil parents are staying with them) about my dd.

Was I in the wrong? I feel so bad especially because the have tiny babies. But how was I to know 😔

You were to know because both of your dds had been sick. Did you tell your sil before you visited?

They have*

Yes they both knew that the girls had been sick on the Monday. It was on the family WhatsApp group.

Oh dear, what were you thinking? Sorry, you really shouldn’t have gone.

I think if they were ill on Monday and then fine and you didn't travel until friday YNBU.

It sounds like bad luck but you'd have sent them back to school if they were 4 days symptom free.

Shame they are all piling on to have a go on your poor DD. Hope everyone better soon!

I wouldn't have taken my children to see six week old twins if they'd been sick that week. I know the rule is 48 hours usually but these are tiny babies, it's common sense. So sorry I think you're in the wrong.

Saying that, if I knew your children had been sick that week I'd have rescheduled your visit myself and asked you to wait a bit longer before coming.

Oh dear, what were you thinking? Sorry, you really shouldn’t have gone.

What? It was 4 days before. 48 hours is NHS guidance. Daft thing to say.

Tbh I get that sil is pissed off. I would if I had 6 wk old twins and got a vomiting bug. BUT as you said dd were ill on Monday and this was Friday - there was no way you could have known the bug was still lurking about. Just suck it up and forget about it. They are going to be anjoyed that dd passed on a bug but you weren't to know

I don’t know about you being upset with SIL but if someone made my barely 2 month twins sick, and brought the rest of the house down with plague and pestilence I'd be hopping mad. No you weren't to know, no it wasn’t deliberate, but Im guessing as your DD did have second bout of diarrhoea, ultimately you have probably brought the bug into their house. Like you I would have assumed 4 days without incident was enough to say the initial bug had passed.

You knowingly took sick children to see a family with a 6 week old baby. YABU

Ah ok, well I think your sil IBU - although I empathise with her, she had opportunity to re-arrange!

Sorry I didn’t see the 4 days in between bit. Sorry that’s not unreasonable.

Such a daft thing to say that six week twins now have a tummy bug. Clearly extremely silly.

See I would have gone too if they were ok between tuesday - friday. Yanbu

Schools require 48 hrs after the last episode of vomiting before returning. If they’d be ok to go to school they’d be ok to visit your family. Sounds like a clear 4 days?

The second bug is probably unrelated to the first. It’s bad luck, but I can’t understand why PPs are saying it’s your fault 🤷‍♀️

YABU and I’d have been fuming if I was your SIL

Just to clarify the twins are fine (for now) just db and dn. sil hasn't had anything yet.

@hormonesorDHbeingadick no I didn't knowingly. It was 4 days.

Yanbu

4 whole days had passed without illness!!

Are we supposed to isolate ourselves from society for 5+ days after an illness?! No.

The sicknesses were probably unrelated.

How long are you supposed to have kept them away then? If they were sick on Monday way over the 48 hours had passed and their 5 year old will be in constant contact with all sorts of germs from her school mates anyway. Fair enough to miffed but no reason to be vile about it.

My SIL brought round my niece to visit my 8 week old not long back and it wasn’t till she was there did she mention that her daughter had been ill a few days before. It wiped me, my DH and baby out for a good few days, I was fuming.

It was pretty irresponsible to take a potentially sick child to visit such small babies, I know the guidelines but I would be extra careful at their age.

It's just unfortunate, everyone knew your DCs had been sick 4 days before. It's not like you kept it from them. Yes, I'd be annoyed everyone now has a sickness bug but it's no ones 'fault'.

Sounds like one of those things that will be forgotten pretty soon. Your mum would have been better not to mention it to you. If I was your SIL I would probably feel annoyed having to deal with it yet knowing I wasn’t being entirely fair as you hadn’t done it on purpose so I’d whinge a bit to get it out of my system and then get over it! You naturally feel protective of your daughter and that you are being criticised though she probably never meant you to feel this way or even thought it would get back to you!

If it was within 48hrs, unreasonable. It wasn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.

She has 6 week old twins, has a sickness bug, will be worried about them getting ill and will be having to look after them despite feeling like shit herself.

I think everyone would be a bit annoyed at the source of the bug in that situation really, we've all been a bit unreasonable in the first while after we've had a baby I'm sure.