Sooo many threads about difficult MILs. And before anyone starts, I’m appreciative of the fact there are loads of difficult DILs out there too. But I’d like to focus on MILs here.
Most mothers of previous partners I’ve had have been lovely. We’ve not seen eye-to-eye on absolutely everything, but clearly respected each other. And I’ve had two absolute shockers. Both shared the same traits. Both wanted to make a competitor out of me. Both undermined me. And neither treated me with respect, despite the fact I did them. Tried my guts out with both until I had to accept there was not going to be any resolution.
As a result they created tension for everyone. Instead of gaining a daughter they ended up alienating me and driving their own sons they were trying to hang onto further away, as well as their grandchildren. And for what? Unless I’m missing something there is only loss and no gain to be had by doing this. It could be win-win, but instead everyone loses. I truly do not get it.
People post about their MILs here every day, and often I don’t see the big deal. I wish my MIL was as tame as some described. But I have to say the overwhelming majority of MILs described on MN seem to share the same characteristics as the two shockers I’ve experienced. Sadly it seems I’m not alone.
If all their behaviour achieves is loss and upset, why do they do it?