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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to give my dc two MH days a year

350 replies

Codywolf · 15/07/2019 10:13

Hi
I was talking to my friend about how I give my secondary aged children two mental health days to use when they need a break
and she looked horrified

My dc cannot take the day off if there is a test or activity but otherwise can use them when they need to

So Aibu to allow them these days

OP posts:
chocolatemademefat · 15/07/2019 10:33

What is wrong with them when they decide they need a MH day? I’ve brought up 2DS and they both managed to complete their education without mental health days. Maybe when they find employment they should run that idea past their employer. And their co-workers. There are so many school holidays and school days aren’t exactly long anyway. Tell them to suck it up and get to school.

What a bizarre idea. You badly need a dose of common sense.

Skyejuly · 15/07/2019 10:34

Yanbu but I do think should be closely monitored. I would allow mine a time out day but they would have to use this day as an act of self care or doing stuff to help prevent the stress....

El0die · 15/07/2019 10:35

They are not really mental health days are they? I suspect the DCs don't have any mental health issues.
Are they more 'duvet days'?

herculepoirot2 · 15/07/2019 10:37

I think it’s a strange message to young people, that they are even likely to need it. Surely unless they are coming to you, telling you they feel unwell, they are probably quite well?

herculepoirot2 · 15/07/2019 10:37

And what happens if they need three?

Original poster
Codywolf · 15/07/2019 10:39

On the days off which they never take on the same day we go for walks in the woods, gardening and sometimes they like to just relax in the bath for hours reading

OP posts:
El0die · 15/07/2019 10:39

My DS needed up to 3 mental health days a WEEK. It made me unemployable. I had to give up my job which was a huge problem as a widowed single parent.

LellyMcKelly · 15/07/2019 10:42

Isn’t that what holidays and weekends are for?

CassianAndor · 15/07/2019 10:43

Cody why can you not do things like that at the weekend?

Snowblanket · 15/07/2019 10:44

If I think my DC need a day off due to people being shits to them or when my eldest is having a particularly bad period then I’ll tell them to go back to bed.

They are in tops sets and doing well, what I won’t have though is them asking or hinting for a day off.

I find it odd that you have a set amount.

Sparklingbrook · 15/07/2019 10:45

Yes, all of that can be done at the weekend or in school holidays, or in the summer after school.

herculepoirot2 · 15/07/2019 10:45

On the days off which they never take on the same day we go for walks in the woods, gardening and sometimes they like to just relax in the bath for hours reading

Me too, but I’d be taking the piss a bit if I did that when I was meant to be at work.

AgentProvocateur · 15/07/2019 10:46

Your DC are in for a shock when they reach the workplace...

CassianAndor · 15/07/2019 10:47

I'm guessing that these kids have weekends crammed to the gills with activities that can't possibly be cancelled.

Bookworm4 · 15/07/2019 10:47

On the days off which they never take on the same day we go for walks in the woods, gardening and sometimes they like to just relax in the bath for hours reading
I laughed out loud at this. Seriously OP get a bloody grip; they go to school for 30 hours pw, they have plenty free time to lie in the bath. Stop indulging these kids and prepare them for life, good luck when they need to work;’ sorry boss I’ll not be in today I’m lying in the bath’ 🤣🤣

brotown · 15/07/2019 10:47

I have no problem with the concept of giving them a day off if you think they really need it, but calling it a mental health day and giving them control of it is going a bit far.

JacquesHammer · 15/07/2019 10:48

Stop indulging these kids and prepare them for life, good luck when they need to work;’ sorry boss I’ll not be in today I’m lying in the bath’

I run two businesses. I can quite easily do that.

The career my daughter wants would also, quite easily, enable her to do that.

But then we also take time off for holiday so....Grin

herculepoirot2 · 15/07/2019 10:49

I'm guessing that these kids have weekends crammed to the gills with activities that can't possibly be cancelled.

Indeed. Because we have reached a point where structured leisure activities are now considered so essential that they are characterised as “stress”, and parents are dipping into education time to provide their child with downtime. Sad.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/07/2019 10:49

I don't see the harm. Depending on when Easter falls you sometimes get a stupidly long term. I'd struggle to go to work for 9 weeks without taking a day's annual leave. Sometimes you do get a bit burned out from school.

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/07/2019 10:49

I applaud you for taking your kids MH seriously, of course. Not sure I would have a set number of days though.

Passthecherrycoke · 15/07/2019 10:50

Seems a bit odd to me if they don’t actually have MH issues- why would something as standard as attending school be such a threat to their MH?

JacquesHammer · 15/07/2019 10:52

I'm guessing that these kids have weekends crammed to the gills with activities that can't possibly be cancelled

Can’t speak for the OP but DD has no activities on a weekend. It’s really important IMO that structured activities aren’t overwhelming.

Heyha · 15/07/2019 10:53

I have kids that attain excellent attendance all year that I know I'll never see on trips day or sports day- but they'd never call those absences 'mental health days' they are just strategic absences but obviously they call in sick to avoid any issues.

RasberryR0ulade · 15/07/2019 10:54

I think your BU with your naming/phrasing. Agree with many posters that if you're children are exhausted/stressed/suffering mh problems, they should be absent accordingly.
A " DUVET DAY" sounds better. If attendance is good overall/no impact on exams. I fully support a couple of 'duvet days' a year. I havn't done, but would consider this for my last child in secondary school.
I'm sure ( not 100% ) in the biggest global international organisations, they have ' duvet days'. No notice or explanation required and around 5 days per year.
These employees have weekends off ( like school children )and annual leave but it's recognised some may just have a burn out day.
It's an EXCELLENT work provision.

ChicCroissant · 15/07/2019 11:00

Really? What do they do at the weekends, OP? Can they use their MH days then or are they strictly for schooldays?

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